(ThyBlackMan.com) It is fair to begin this discussion by saying everything that will be mentioned can apply to men. The problems that stem from entering a relationship with a married person are pretty universal. With that being said I’m a woman, and my address is to women. Many of us are: looking for love, casual encounters, open relationships, or our husband. Regardless of what you seek a married man is NEVER a wise choice. Entering a relationship with a married man is not only selfish, but it can be self-destructing. Let’s get this out of the way: yes he very well may have approached you, but you DO NOT have to comply if you know the brother is married. Furthermore, if you didn’t know and find out later…run.
This is very simple to some of us, however there are women that not only date married men…but target them. To some it may seem harmless if the encounters with a married man are just casual. They are not harmless. The man has a wife at home, and in some instances children. The term homewrecker is a real one. It’s very easy to tell yourself it’s the fault of his wife. However, you don’t know the details of that relationship, and yes it is disrespectful. He didn’t think enough of a woman he took vows with so though your encounter is casual you put yourself at risk of facing that very woman.
For some ladies their dealing with married men aren’t casual at all…they are full blown relationships. She may be fueled by the dream of: “he said he’s going to leave her for me, and we’ll be happy together”. Sweetheart, most men DO NOT leave their wives, and you have reduced your worth to that of a dirty little secret. Again, he took vows to a woman that his is breaking…he is not thinking of his children; what in God’s name makes you think he will be loyal to you. Ladies, your self-worth is more than that of a “side chick”. If he really wants to be with you, and the chemistry is that great…he will seek a divorce. He will end a matter before beginning another, and you SHOULD demand this of said man.
Furthermore, even in this case you are truly unaware of the details of his marriage. His wife could be an upstanding woman doing everything she can to be the best wife on all levels, and he simply never left the single life mentality. For some married men, and women, one person that loves them deeply will never be enough. With that being said you may think he’s just so into you when truly it’s all about the chase, and once he has you…he’ll discard you as he did his wife.
Lastly, no matter the terms one puts it in Karma is real. The woman empowered is the wife. She has all legal, and in most cases, spiritual rights to said man. In many cases she has carried his children, and has all of the leverage. The “side chick” can say absolutely NOTHING to the wife if she knew he was married. She has every right to be infuriated with you, as well as him. Wives are often told to be mad with their husband not the other women. That is only true if the woman didn’t know he was married. The “other” woman has no right to speak on how the wife handles the matter.
Truth be told there are women that worked for, and earned, their marriages…and honey you had better pray that woman doesn’t become violent. Furthermore, if you endeavor to marry one day you will not want to find yourself standing in her shoes. Reap what you sow, what comes around goes around, or Karma…which ever concept you prefer putting this kind of pain into the universe is damaging to you. Heaven forbid you pursued the married man you knew had a family. That’s just foul on all levels.
I can honestly say when I was single…married men was a line I was never willing to cross. As a wife I don’t expect to ever encounter that foolishness as I’ve never harmed another woman in that way. Sistahs, we must start standing with each other in the preservation of marriage. Let’s encourage each other to be better wives, and mothers verses destroying each other’s homes. You deserved to be the one and only Queen in your man’s life…not a mistress. Never forget a mistress will never will the power of a Queen. Let’s kill the concept of the side chick, and embrace the path of a wife. If we can do this…we won’t desire nor tolerate a married man.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; C. Starr and also Twitter; MrzZeta.
Also via email at; CStarr@ThyBlackMan.com.
