(ThyBlackMan.com) Relationships is always a touchy topic for sisters. Many of us have experienced different degrees of dysfunctional relationships, and maybe we have a “one” that got away. Sometimes when you look at what you contribute to a relationship it can become difficult because no one wants to say I had a hand in my relationship falling apart. Sometimes you get surprised with a person who isn’t what he has led you to believe. Then there are times you see red flags, but you want to believe you’re tripping. You want to believe if he’s just given a chance, and you are your best person everything will fall into place.
If the relationship doesn’t make it you could find yourself believing you aren’t worthy of love, or it won’t come, because every time you open up…something goes wrong. He embarrasses you to before your family, and sometimes this includes your children. You want to be loved in a healthy relationship; you aren’t asking for perfection, but you don’t deserve toxic. Learning from the previous situations can give you a better chance at the love you desire. Since we out not ignore what’s put before our face, these are three red flags you should take heed to if you see them.
1. A lack of balance between what is said, and actions is a serious read flag. We live in a time were everything says talk is cheap. We don’t want to hear what is said…just so us what you can do. Ladies, actions should validate words spoken. There are too many situations whereby we find ourselves seeing all the actions of a relationship. Every action and care for one’s person would lead you to logically believe there is a commitment. However, when commitment is mentioned the man is quick to fall back on the fact he never agreed to a relationship. if a man is unwilling to have words that define his actions don’t waste your time.
2. Every one has a rough day, and might raise their voice form time to time trying to express themselves. Even you must be mindful of such, but if you are dealing with someone that can’t communicate maturely that is a red flag. This can become toxic and abusive quickly. There is no need for anyone to consistently take their frustrations, and fears, out on you. If they can’t sit down and discuss matters in a civil fashion leave him there.
3. There is a difference between constructive criticism and being tore down. We should all help each other grow, but you don’t need someone that will dissect who you are and pick you apart. That is also something that can become abusive emotionally.
It is important to examine yourself and find out who you are, and what you need in a relationship. in doing this you will find yourself addressing your issues so that you are not toxic to someone else. With that being said, pay attention to what’s not said, how you’re spoken to, how he offers growth, and many other flags. If you see them run while you can. There are certain red flags you simply should not ignore…you aren’t crazy. Don’t tolerate less than what you deserve.
Staff Writer; Adonicka Michele