(ThyBlackMan.com) There really is no reasonable way to view what Scripture says about who we are as believers and try to make a case for dating or marrying someone who does not believe in God. To wit, there are believers who have married atheists, agnostics and such and report a “good” marriage. But marriage as the Bible sees and describes it is far more than just “good”, it has eternal implications.
Dating someone who is not a Christian has its own built-in faults; thus, two people begin on uneven turf and with uneven souls.
A Christian should not date a person who does not believe in God because, for a truly born-again person, it’s a matter of the heart, the mindset does not mesh and, morally speaking, it’s bad company.
It’s A Matter of the Heart
The Holy Bible points to the heart as the seat of our motives. As the heart is, so our thoughts and actions proceed. Solomon cautions, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) If a believer is considering dating or marrying an unbeliever, that believer must seriously consider their motivation in doing so.
If the heart is the seat or guide for what we do, then we must be always willing to gauge our actions by our spiritual intention. We must be willing to ask, “What’s motivating me?”
Often, though, the heart has reasons for which the mind knows very little or nothing at all. The good, strong, heart-centered, Christ-focused believer simply cannot fathom the notion of dating a person who does not believe in God.
Believers Are of a Different Mind
Not only would such a union be a collision of the hearts, but the collective mindset for such a union is also questionable.
A believer has a unique mindset or approach to life. That mindset is God-centered. We believe God exists as the Creator of the Universe; He gives life and sustains our very being. Therefore, we pray, worship and evangelize toward the goal of making the world more like the kingdom of God.
In fact, mindset is another word for “kingdom”, which involves our thinking and demonstrates our peculiarity as believers. In short, believers are of a different ilk; therefore, if we date or marry a person not of the kingdom mindset, it would be like mixing water and oil or darkness and light.
When the Apostle Paul writes, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (II Corinthians 6:14), his language points to how believers see the world versus a person who does not believe sees the world.
In that same verse, Paul rhetorically equates such a union as “righteousness with lawlessness” and “light with darkness”. He then cites “Belial” as grounds for probing the relationship of light and darkness. Belial is a term occurring in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament which later became personified as the devil in Christian texts of the New Testament. A believer in partnership or fellowship with the devil is ludicrous to Paul and is evidenced throughout all of Scripture.
Believers Should Keep Good Company
Paul admonishes, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33) This principle runs the gamut of the human experience: from childhood friendships, to courting and to corporate mergers.
Remember when, in your teens, your parents cautioned you about the boy or girl you was so “in love” with? Most of the time (probably all of the time really) they were right! They saw things about that boy or girl that we could not see.
In the same way, the Bible “sees” people in ways we refuse to acknowledge, which is why the Bible should always be the litmus test for whom we choose to date and ultimately marry.
The company we keep says a lot about the life we experience. It’s very difficult if not impossible to achieve the type of intimacy the Bible prescribes with a person who does not believe in God.
Here’s the bottom line: The Holy Bible does not specifically state “Thou shall not marry a person who does not believe in God”! You will not find that in the Ten Commandments. However, the Bible is the universally accepted guide for living for believers. From Genesis to Revelations, we are instructed on the spiritual chasm between darkness and light and between that which makes us morally upright and that which subtracts from it.
Dating someone who does not believe in God would be in conflict with the edict of God’s word.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This brother is the Believer’s Coach and is a licensed pastor, speaker and certified holistic lifestyle coach. Pastor Croomes is author of Watch Your Life: The Believer’s Guide to Thinking, Speaking and Acting Confidently in a Belief-Challenged World and Surge into the New: Stand Up Reach God’s Excellence, a book aimed at helping Christian believers strengthen their faith walk in Christ, written in the middle of a pandemic.
One may contact him at; WEC@ThyBlackMan.com and online; https://www.pastorwericcroomes.com.
