Monday, September 25, 2023

African American Women To Avoid.

August 31, 2018 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Today, if not every day, many of you have heard women ask where all the good men are. But maybe good men should be also asking where the good women are. Even the worst women ask this question because every woman, good or bad, wants a good man. There are good and bad, mature and immature, sorry and strong men and women throughout the African American community.  And no ethnic group nor the males nor females in that group are perfect.

I am 2 seconds from telling you to just go get an Asian, Hispanic or European woman but I won’t because we need to replenish African American households as much as possible.

There are both men and women with issues, but no we all don’t have “issues“. I mean mental “issues” that go so deep to the point where they destroy our most needed relationships. Issues like anger, bitterness, immaturity, deceit, drama, superficiality, materialism, unforgiveness and/or  the unwillingness to move on from past relationships. While these “issues” are not confined to women alone, I am here to warn MEN about a great many women you must avoid to save yourself and your wallet a lot of heartache, headache, safety and disappointment.

Some of the nastiest, most dangerous, trifling, mentally unstable, treacherous and/or broke women know how to dress nice, smell even better and look even better. And here we go (not me anymore) falling for their game time after time after time and then some. Everything that looks good is not automatically good for you. Instead of judging a book by its cover, I suggest you read the contents page, the index and the references. Brothers don’t let your hormones turn off your brain. And never leave your heart unguarded when she is not your wife. And even if you live together, that is not real commitment so watch out.

We men have been warned about these type women by our parents, friends and even in music with songs like Poison or Dangerous. But because they are often so “hot“, so “cute” and so alluring, we ignore the warnings – at least until we get burned. And every day the jails, courts, child support offices and/or anger management classes are filled with African American men who wish they had listen and avoided these dangerous and unstable women like the plague. While I am very happily married today (and no not to a white woman), I was once one of those men who fell through the trap door I didn’t even know I was standing on. And if you heed the warnings of this article, you don’t have to be. So you need to hear me, really hear me.

Type BP – Bipolar

There are many bipolar women in the African American community. Mood swings, attitudes, anger and otherwise out of control behavior can arise any time from these women. They likely have major hormone imbalances. And if you ask me, such imbalances could come from birth control pills, chemicals they use in their hair, feminine hygiene products, biochemical deficiencies, heredity, past traumatic experiences or just mental instability. Where ever it is coming from, you need to learn to spot the signs and when you see them, run, leave, move away, change your number or get a restraining order. Whatever you do, flee!

Type V-Vindictive

These type women are just mean and trifling, that’s all there is to it. They punish the next man for what the last man did or what a man did to their mom, best friend or sister. It has been said “Hell hath no fury…..” and you see Omarosa waited at least a year to spring the trap on Trump. Neither he nor his entire administration saw it coming and if you are distracted enough to fail to spot a vindictive woman, you won’t see what’s coming either. Not until she strikes like a cobra. She can sit there and smile, hide her agenda and her animosity with covert means you cannot begin to imagine. And if she has flashbacks from past abuse or bad relationships before you, watch out. The venom is twice as lethal. I have seen it, I have counseled men who have been the victims and I have counseled women who had the venom.

Type G-Gold Digger

We see these type women all over anybody with serious money like recording artists, sports figures and even pastors. But those women are obvious and easy to spot so I won’t say much about them. However the subtle gold digger who is after the middle class working African American male is much harder to spot because many of you don’t know what to look for and others of you are so easily distracted by her touch, her body or her whisper in your ear. Wake up! Hey, wake up!

Type B-Broke

As a marriage, family and relationship counselor, mediator and life coach I have noticed woman after woman after woman who wants a man to have certain things in place to prove he is ready to have her. And though it is true you should be prepared for a relationship on many levels, never forget that SHE does not determine what you should be, what you should have and by when. The woman interested in you does not determine your manhood nor your goals.


Ironically many of these women are heavily in debt and you are their solution. They want you to have the car they don’t, the house they don’t, the income they don’t the looks and the body they don’t. If that is the standard (and it should not be superficial), why is she qualified to be with you? My point guys, have some serious standards and expectations of your own.

Type X- The X Gamer

The X gamer is a female who just cannot leave her ex-anything alone. She may have children with him but she will still find extra excuses to stay connected to him in ways that are unnecessary. She does not realize that you cannot start something new until you stop something old and put it in the past. The danger is in you having to deal with him. And the second danger is that she could likely go back to him, though she would tell you that is not possible. Therefore my brother I would suggest you look at her actions because they shout louder than words.

This type of woman is looking for certain things in various men because she cannot find them all in one man. This is likely why she wants you and him. She does not understand that nobody will be all of what you want. She also does not understand that compromise is not the same thing as settling.

Do you have any idea the number of times as a counselor that I have heard a woman say she is torn between two guys? No, you don’t. But more times than you would believe. And if you are making an educated guess, multiply it times 20 at least.

Type H-Hoochie

It might be appealing to you when an attractive woman is promiscuous and easy to sleep with, but she is not just being easy with you. I guarantee you that. Maybe you think it is because you are so smooth but maybe she is just promiscuous. Yes there are many more women than men in this country and yes women do get lonely, even when they try to pretend they are not. But women quick to jump into intimacy tend not to form real attachments.

Type H women are often used or taken advantage of by many men because they are easy. When this happens these women form stereotypical opinions about men and thus they do not expect much. Consequently these type women don’t give much emotionally because they are protecting their hearts. Or they go to the opposite end and they are ready to move in or get married quick with no real sense of the commitment and sacrifices needed for a long term relationship. And if you like increasing your chances of getting an STD, she is your girl.

Type B-Bitter

This type of female has been burned and she carries that bitterness with her from man to man, encounter to encounter, relationship to relationship. Such a bitterness often guides her actions and her attitude. It wrecks her relationships. She gets angry quickly and she is often known to come across as hard, demanding and vocal on what she will and won’t take. She is seldom able to compromise and she feels manipulated when she cannot have things her way.

Type S-Scape-Goater

The type S woman always wants to blame somebody else for her problems. She hardly ever takes responsibility for what happens or has happened. Let her tell it, her ex-husband or baby’s father is the reason for where she is and what she has gone through. Or her previous boyfriend is the culprit. She never looks in the mirror with an honest stare and willingness to change. Thus her problems with relationships continue, no matter how hard she tries to make them work. She is trying and working against a herself and the new relationship at the same time.

Type T-Trust Issues

Like the type B woman, a type T woman has been betrayed by a past boyfriend, husband or even her father. She finds it hard to trust any man she gets involved with. This will place a ceiling on any of her relationships because either she will always suspect something or she will pull back when the relationship get’s too close. Unlike the bitter woman, the woman with trust issues is more scared than angry. But like the bitter woman, she subconsciously sabotages her relationships quite often.

Type Q-The Quitter

When you date a woman find out who broke up with whom in her last few relationships. If she is always the one initiating the break up one of three things is likely happening. Either the woman lacks commitment, she is moving from man to man after she gets what she wants out of the relationship (she is a user) or she does not know what she wants and needs so she keeps picking the wrong type guys. In any case this type of woman will not ride or die so you can forget that. She will not be with you through thick and thin. And when the kitchen of life heats up, you will find yourself standing there alone.

This list is by no means a complete one and I am sure you could add other categories I left out. But you need to remember the worst bomb never looks like a bomb until it is ready to explode. A spider knows what it takes to lure its prey into the web. And those of you who are desperate, thinking below the waist, lacking self esteem, self worth or self identity make easy targets for the very type women you need to avoid. The entire time these women will let you think you are running game, seducing them or causing them to desire you. Your mother can likely spot these women or your sister or a real female best friend.  But when these demons strike, you will never see it coming. So remember this article and what I have told you.

Staff Writer; Trevo Craw


31 Responses to “African American Women To Avoid.”
  1. Brother Shaddai says:

    Yeeeeessssss I agree with this article. Keep spreading the truth even if it is unpopular. And even if there are a few ignorant apples in the barrel. Pay no attention to them.

  2. Joshua Rackley says:

    Thank you for the information. I mentor a group of young men and you best believe I will share this information with them. Trevo you need to write a book on this. Keep sounding the alarm and don’t worry about idiots.

  3. Dr Trina says:

    I have been a therapist for almost 20 years and i have to say, even as a female, I agree with the assessment made by this author. The truth hurts but then it helps thereafter.

    I suggest those of you who find it necessary to share your animosity actually do some research. None of us are perfect but problems have to be exposed in order to be dealt with and solved.

  4. Dentia Stephens says:

    Mature grown men have something to contribute unlike you Anthony.
    You just made a fool of yourself and said nothing.
    Unfortunately what this Trevo Craw says is correct.

  5. Trevo Craw says:

    To Anthony Craw
    First you are a fake.
    Second I have a phenomenal African American wife, who do you have?
    Third you have neither provided evidence to the contrary nor refuted anything in this article so you are just making immature insults and noise.
    Fourth women warn each other all the time of what men to avoid and watch out for. But when men warn each other, little girls like you and Steve Harvey have a problem with it.
    Fifth your comments about male organs are ignorant and just a cover of insults because you have no real points to make that will help anybody including yourself.
    Sixth, look how many more people other than you like this article because they know it is true. But there are always a few bad apples who walk in denial like you. Then you use my last name. Don’t you have your own? Immature yet again.

    Finally, try to grow up and realize the facts instead of just trying to tear down a published author who has the training, the stats, the facts and the experience on his side.

  6. Anthony Craw says:

    Good day my Freemason Cousin!

    If you are ever feeling depressed, talking negative statements to women (or men), or feeling overall tiredness it is extremely important to invest in a penis pump. Giving your “pickle” *wink* a great massage and stretching exercise (via air) is very important to help greater self confidence and vastly greater self esteem. Your “pickle” will no longer hurt and sprout better

    Medium Electrical Shocks followed by injecting your pickle with Orange Juice followed by Antibiotics. Now this never heard of rare method promoted by the Church of Scientology in Uruguay might seem crass, but it brings results. Full functionality of your “pickle” (in all directions). It will alleviate cholesterol that dwell in your hormones.

  7. Arthur says:

    You are right. You were referring to someone else.

  8. Daniel Hall says:

    Brother Trevo,

    This is a strong and accurate article. And your responses to those who are trying to tear you down are spot on.

    I notice when they cannot disprove what you say, they just call you names. We who have a brain can see they really have nothing of value to say.

    Keep up the good work

  9. Trevo Craw says:

    To Arthur,

    Where did I say you insulted anybody?
    Also where did I insult you?
    I directly addressed what you said.

  10. Trevo Craw says:

    To Lipstick Alley,

    You are an idiot and you distort the truth so let me correct you before you turn into Donald Trump. First off this blog is called THY BLACK Man, thus I am speaking to AA men, not women. Your points are inaccurate.

    Second of all, you need to read the rest of my articles on this site including those about lifting up AA men, rebuilding the family, being a real dad, being a role model etc. You try to say i am against women when you ignore the articles containing proven facts, not my biased opinion.

    If you would look at how my research is done, the sources I site, the stats I refer to and the training i have had, you would understand instead of completely missing the boat.

    Further you fail to see that to fix the problems of the AA community, we first have to be honest about them. Which is something you are NOT doing. You come on this site and attack with no facts, no research and no hard evidence. You simply make noise.

    Notice that many people like this article. They know the truth and they know we have to be honest about AA problems in order to fix them. You really need to read slower, understand better and support your points with evidence and facts instead of making insults to cover the fact that you are talking nonsense.

  11. LipStickAlley says:

    I have seen 10 articles like this on women.

    I know you like to drive your point home…

    But have you done this with men?

    Freaken Hypocrite

  12. Arthur says:

    I have not insulted anybody, unless making a few respectful comments to advance an important dialogue is an insult. Can anyone point out what i said that was insulting? Thank you.

  13. Raphael G says:

    I like this article because it is true of so many black women. And the more we deny that, the more we will never fix the problem. He is not stereotyping all black women at all.

    Are you people with insults reading the introduction? Or do you just want to act like backstabbing coons by tearing the brother down because he tell the truth?

  14. Shaun Moore says:

    Good article Trevo Craw. The truth hurts but then it heals so keep it coming and keep warning brothers.

    Thanks Bro

  15. Felix X says:

    Trevo you are on point.
    Ignore the little boys who are insulting you.
    I notice they don’t offer much in the way of real truth

  16. David Matthis says:

    The author of this article is spot on. The few brothers attempting to correct him are really bringing nothing real to the table but opinions. And we all have opinions. i don’t hear Zachery nor Arthur nor WantonAfro nor Pelvo bringing any facts. Facts matter people.

    It is strange that these so called brothers are so hostile towards the truth. If you guys have not had the experiences many of us other brothers had, that does not mean the article is wrong.

    I can tell you a hundred brothers who have met the exact types listed in this article. So let’s just be real. Maybe you brothers think women like that are OK. Or maybe those type women are the only kind you can get. Either way, brothers know these types exist. Wake up and bring some real truth before you try to correct somebody.

  17. Trevo Craw says:

    To Arthur, there are many ways to look at a situation but the truth is the truth, facts are facts and evidence is evidence. These do not change simply if we do not like what they are. But you are incorrect that a man is responsible for the faults of the woman or vice versa. Solutions begin with an accurate assessment of the situation based on facts and real evidence, not simply looking at the whole thing. If people reject the true and deny the facts, their attempts to look at everything in fact does nothing.

    To Zachery,

    You cannot disprove nor refute anything in this article so you lob small minded insults at the messenger of the content. If I am off my rocker, I find it helpful that 28 times more people than you know what I say is true. You are also wrong about my analysis being subjective. i have the training, the experience, the research, the stats and the counseling and mediation of over a thousand couples and families to back up my claims. What do you have to refute them? Nothing at all but noise.

    You should feel sorry for yourself being in denial.I do not base my assessment on my limited experiences, of which most with AA women were good. I base my assessment on facts, evidence, stats, training, counseling experiences, interviews, mediators and other info from other family and relationship counselors of all colors and both genders. So yet again, you don’t know what you are talking about. I suggest you sit down in the rocker you say I am off of.

    It amazes me how both of you just insult me as a distraction that you cannot refute any of the article. Nice try but intelligent people see through that. My article is specific, not generic. It is hard hitting, not mundane. And apparently you are loving to hear yourself use what you think are big words.

    Where are your facts? Where is your evidence? What training do you have? How many people have you counseled, interviewed or mediated?

    Finally i have a great wife who is AA. I have a great family and a strong marriage, family and relationship counseling practice.I am published many times over. What do you have? What have you done? I am not saying it is about me but you just needed to be corrected with facts and qualifications.

  18. Arthur says:

    There is always more than one way to look at a situation. And you, the viewer, the pilot of your consciousness is always making choices from competing perspectives.

    There is a problem with the African American family. And one can look at it from the point of view of the man, or that of the woman. Not surprisingly, when this happens, one side often points at the other.

    There is another way to look at things. One can note that it takes an African American man and an African American woman to produce an African American child. Therefore, whatever fault one has, the other is also responsible.

    Many of us choose this holistic view in moving towards a solution.

  19. Zachery says:

    Wow Trevo Craw has gone off his rocker.

    This is all subjective you don’t mention to what degree they do it. How can we distinguish this from a couple of bad traits every known or then. What about them have a bad day? This comes off as a feminine-like 50 word article from TheRoot or something. Even more mis-lead brother, what about trying to HEAL these women? MEN are supposed to lead first in the household remember.

    Oh I’m sorry What else can we expect from an Anti-Woman/Anti-Liberal/Anti-Secular Person?

    Thou who protests to much DOES to much

    Brother gave you an authenticity check, because saying “I’m an Alpha Male” is obviously a red flag, with flashing lights.

    This is the most mundane, generic, cliche argument ever in existence. Women most certainly don’t do this to men, not in these numerous ways anyway. I’ll ask again my brother can you be more precise?

    I feel sorry for you brother

  20. Trevo Craw says:

    To Pelvo White,

    You are a joke. You can neither disprove nor refute anything in this article so you just make noise and use immature insults to cover for your feeble attempts at sound argument.

    Speak for yourself. We all don’t have those flaws because they are not just flaws, they are relationship-destroying issues that run deeper than flaws. You need to reader slower and pay closer attention instead of attempting to distort what I am saying. You apparently just don’t get it. But all the people who like this article do. And they are not listening to your BS.

    Some traits in people are toxic and they are deal breakers. I have the training, the research and the experience in counseling to back up the claims I have made here. Then the stats on top of that. What do you have? Antagonism, animosity and small minded insults.

    TO WANTON Whatever,

    Grade A truth. You just can’t handle the truth so I have to wonder which of the types describes you as a male or female or whatever. Secondly I am an Alpha male married to an Alpha female so talk what you actually know. You make assumptions and try to assess me but you are very inaccurate. My assessment is to warn brothers of people just like you, ironically. So I suggest you look in the mirror.

    People get offended when they are the nail that got hit on the head and your head has hammer prints all over it. You just made yourself look real dumb and you did not offer anything to refute any of the points in the article. Like the other guy, you are simply a noise maker without facts or evidence. Read my first two paragraphs. do you know what a preface is? Or how it is used to contextualize a written work? or did I just lose you altogether?

  21. WantonAfroDigizak says:

    Grade A “Anti-Women” stuff here.

    Now we are stereotyping personalities and social traits to “avoid” for our sisters? Why this robotic emotionally distant “judgement” brother?

    This is suspect behavior and maddeningly ignorant on your behalf sir

    With all due respect, I’m afraid you’re suffering from the tendencies of a Beta Male.

    She’s just not interested in you, curious marriage is not in the equation in your article (accept your lack of judgement, even then I wonder if she doesn’t want you)

  22. Pelvo White, Jr. says:

    Caveat Emptor ! Caveat Emptor ! If you buy this article, hook, line, and sinker, you hate your mother and your father. All the faults mentioned claimed to be in some African American women are really virtues in both African American men and women in a pluralistic democracy with a capitalist economic base. We all have these flaws. Your conclusions shouldn’t necessarily lead to avoidance and breaking up but to further discussions, understanding,learning, and a making up.

  23. Trevo Craw says:

    To Overt Warc,

    First of all I am not your “nigga” and if you think you are one, you are playing right into the white plantation owner’s profile of African American who lack identity. So the racist gave you one and you drank every drop of the Kool Aid.

    Secondly, I do not hide from anything nor anybody. And stop misquoting me.
    You do not see any sentence in this article that says I hate black women.
    Telling the truth is not hating somebody.
    As a matter of fact, I do not hate ANYBODY and certainly not because of ethnicity nor gender.
    I am married to a great African American woman who is strong, smart, confident and caring so talk what you know.

    Third, I am not a Hebrew Israelite. Where are you getting your conclusions? Are you on drugs? Fourth the Messiah is real but “Jesus” was the white-washed version of the religious messiah used to control the masses. Did that go over your head? That makes me accurate, not Hebrew Israelite. You need to do some research before you try to criticize and misquote and assume because you are getting it all wrong.

    What the Hell are you talking about? I never said anything about giving up my kids. Are you on drugs or hallucinating? I am not going to waste time with you anymore because something is wrong with you. Every reader can see that from your responses.

  24. Overt Warc says:

    AW hellz naw my nigga…so you hiding in the cut ‘lil bruh? I know you, more then most people on the site do fam.

    You told me you hate Black Women homie, in that conference down south by Tallahassee 2 years ago on August. You told me you were a Hebrew Isrealite and that black women are by their nature ” race traitors”. (all of them)

    You also even doubted Jesus and quoted as “He was made up” but by the Church. You are a disciple of the eISoYC (Phonetically pronounced E-I-SOYCE (External Isrealite School of Yaweh Combat).

    You even seriously “joked” about giving your kids up for adoption the day after FreakNik on 1997.

    You defend Cops who kill us (african americans)

    You declared an alliance with Umar Johnson and were his #1 fund provider between late 2015 and early 2016.

    I will prove this with a Youtube videos to expose you.

    I am a student of Brother Polight. (I was sent by his internal staff actually)

    Expect my name as Overt Warc on the video.

  25. Malachi Muhameed says:

    Oh Great another someone who suffers from Homophobia.

    I find Christians and their chants of suppressing “desires” laughable as their sex before marriage rate is non-existent. Adultery is rampant and marriages have a half-way chance in failing.

    Yet you want to legislate what someone should do who is sexually aroused by a different sex then what you are aroused to?

    Most Homophobes are Homosexual anyway.

    I’m so sorry you can’t embrace your desire to get it on with another man.


  26. Trevo Craw says:

    To Supreme Negress and Nubian Lita,

    You zoomed in on the parts of the article that clearly expose how you are. Then you stereotyped men when I did not do that to women. I suggest you read the first 2 paragraphs and more slowly this time.

  27. Trevo Craw says:

    To Supreme Negress,

    You need to look at yourself and speak only about the men you know. We men have had enough of women like you complaining, making us your scapegoats and the reasons for all of your problems, let you tell it. Try looking in the mirror and stop putting down brothers. Apparently you are one of the type women on the list that I am warning men about.

    As for leadership, many AA men are leading but women who think like you will not follow. And good men with strong identity are frankly tired of women like you, if you are genetically a woman. If not, you are halfway between lost and confused so your points are just noise.

    Non-straight is code for perverted sexual preferences. A real man is a man and a real woman is a woman. Biologically there is a reason nature allows a man with a woman to reproduce, and not otherwise.


    You are another one and this article rings your bell. Which of the types listed are you? Be honest. Because if you were not discussed in the article, it would not bother you. It is like someone calling people in the room trifling. If you are not, you know you are not being talked about. But if you are, you get offended.

    My training and experience as a marriage, family and relationship counselor, life coach and mediator as well as my research yields quite a bit of proof to back up this article. You need to read slower and comprehend because I prefaced the article with balance and that all women are not like the types therein. But apparently you fit or you would not be disturbed, missing the point.

    A critical analysis of the types in the article and exposing them is very necessary because there are too many men who are suffering at the hands of treacherous or unstable women.

  28. SupremeNegress says:

    Men are always in other people’s business.

    According to the bible and tradition MEN are supposed to lead.

    Men since 1980 have no sanctions or limits to promiscuity, often times it is encouraged and NEVER cracked down hard enough. “The Media” and “Society” is blamed but not the man.

    The aforementioned reason above is why we are facing a fatherhood/marriage crisis.

    But blacks rather engage in pointless gender wars against women and attacking non-straight people.

  29. NubianLita says:

    Very unfortunate article…you start off by mentioning that we need to “replenish” the African American household but then go into an attack on black women, with an article titled “African American Women to Avoid”. These characteristics are NOT limited to black women and instead paint us in a bad light as if to say, we’re the only group to possess such qualities. Next time write an article that’s constructive & uplifting for all parties and not solely critical. Instead of avoiding women with such issues why not provide your readers with ways to help such women. Avoidance isn’t a cure…it’s a temporary band aid. With this limited mindset the “replenish” you mention will take a lot longer to occur than it should. #FoodForThought

  30. Abhinav says:

    This is so accurate brother. Thanks for writing and sharing.

  31. IAgree says:

    Good article man…if I had a son I would definitely share. I’ve dated every type in your list and actually married one that you describe perfectly. I wish I would have seen this as a “son” when I was younger

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