(ThyBlackMan.com) We’ve all heard of her; she’s been crooned, immortalized and hyped since the beginning of the 1990’s as the strong, self-sufficient black woman. She’s appeared in film, literature and theater as the saving grace of the black family and the antidote to black male patriarchy. In the process, she’s become the star of African American post-modern folklore; there aren’t too many black families that don’t claim her as one of her own. She is the independent black woman! But is she really independent? Here are several debate points to consider.
The Disappearing Black Male
To best answer this we’d have to turn to history and look at such factors as the disappearance of black men as viable marriage partners for black women. What precipitated this disappearance? Jobs! Today the unemployment rate for black men it twice the national average. This trend began with the decline of manufacturing jobs, steel mills, a
uto plants and other staples of American productivity. The result was that black men were the first fired and the last hired.
I Don’t Need a Man!
At around the same time, something peculiar began to unfold. Little black girls were being socialized to get an education and do not depend on a man for anything. This was not malicious upbringing; it only reflected the signs of the times. Strong women want strong girls.
Law and Order Society
The third significant event which presaged the rise of the independent black woman was the election of Ronald Reagan as President of the United States in 1980 and the subsequent ascent of the so-called ‘law and order society’. The biggest result: black men became the victims of minimum sentencing guidelines, resulting in longer sentences (a phenomenon likely to repeat itself with the election of Donald Trump). All of a sudden, black men were being arrested and imprisoned and often received longer sentences.
The Real Meaning of Independence
The point is black women who pride themselves on being independent should realize their status was attained not just through hard work, determination and burning the midnight oil, but also through a confluence of economic, political and cultural events that aided and abetted their success. This is important because much of the discussion concerning this subject tends to demonize black men as lazy, shiftless and uninspired to raise and protect their families (and there are those). The fact is, however, that, collectively, black men didn’t just wake up one morning and decide ‘I’m gonna abandon my family’. It’s called the American experience and, for the most part, it has decimated Black families since the end of Reconstruction.
The Black marriage market has been thrown into chaos and relationships between the sexes are as strained as ever.
Black Relationships: A New Paradigm
What we need are strong, positive and mutually beneficial, working relationships. We should nurture, love and respect one another’s opinions and ideas and together achieve a sense of becoming while working toward a common goal. What it will require of both sexes is to resist the blame game and begin to understand where we are and how we got here.
Black men want to provide for and protect their families just like any male of other ethnicities. How to accomplish this in the face of declining wages, the huge gap in earnings compared to White males and historically high unemployment is the challenge for Black men today.
We face these challenges today, but we can overcome them together!
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.