(ThyBlackMan.com) With the declines in abortion rates over the past 20 years, Pro- Choice and Pro-Life means something totally different to the single-parent mother and father these days. Pro-choice means that the mother can choose to get child-support whenever she wants. Pro-life means that the father wants to be involved in the child’s life. Obviously there are many different scenarios that these wouldn’t apply; however, more often than not the father is left castrated from his role. The factors of why, really don’t matter compared to who is deliberately terminating fathers from being fathers.
The first father killer is the father himself. From the irresponsible young man engaging in premarital sex to the deadbeat who could 
careless, fathers have to first take responsibility for our careless choices. It is the father who instigates the bounty by his and reckless behavior, which permits others to be just as negligent in their decision making also.
Killer #2: The Mother. Single mothers who create distance between the father and a child assist in the abortion process. Whether it’s repeated negative comments about the child’s father or by not allowing interaction between the two, the mothers who do this kill the image and reputation of fathers. Deadbeat dad or not, not allowing a father to spend time with his child is not right. Ironically though, children who experience this often feel a break in their relationship with mom too.
Killer #3: The System. The strain the system place on a father’s relationship with his child financially and time-wise is torture. The one-sided advantage given to the woman from the DHS office, result in ridiculous interest in back child support and possible jail time. Repercussions like this can literally break a man, mentally and emotionally.
Killer #4: Grandparents. Since most single parent mothers & fathers are young and unstable grandparent get pulled into the rearing of the child. They provide a roof, food, transportation and even clothes. Their parental involvement is often overbearing, even when support is shown in favor of the child’s relationship with the father. Over involvement of grandparents tend to bury the need for an active father, because whatever is lacking they are willing and able to provide. Fathers in this situation struggle to solidify their place and a kid’s life and often fall victim to his own pride. This dynamic is critical in so many was to the development of a child.
The circumstances that restrict and the people who deny fathers their role in his child’s life do just as much damage to a child as the father who rejects his role and responsibilities. Fathers, have to realize that as imperfect as you are, your presence is needed. Mothers and Grandparents need to recognize that the system is designed to cripple the family. Understanding this and value of the father in the life of a child can restore the family structure and nurture new beginnings in our society.
Staff Writer; T.L. Kirk
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