Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Better Men, Better Communities.

September 27, 2015 by  
Filed under Brother Talk, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) I am often asked why it is we as men (or our community in general) are unable to move past our individual differences and remain unified. There are no easy answers to this question. Much of it has to do with our societal conditioning as a people.

What if we could change that dynamic? What if we as men could begin to see that it’s not what you have that matters but rather it’s what is in you that’s most important?

I am currently reading a book called The Better Man Project. Most of the wisdom of this book involves men taking responsibility for their physical health. What I have discovered, though, is that when we assume responsibility for the way we eat, and whether we exercise and de-stress and replenish adequately, it leads to so many other gains emotionally and spiritually, as well. It’s all about becoming a better man.

While we can always point to economic and cultural factors that exacerbate our common experience as men, and often leads to fractured relationships, the fact remains that each of us is in possession of an indisputable power: the power to change ourselves. When we make the commitment to become better men, amazing things begin to happen in our lives and in our communities. How do we make the commitment? Here are three motivators that each of us must commit ourselves to realizing in our lives.blackman-communitywork-2015


Be Powerful not pitiful:

I like what Pastor Joel O’Steen of the Lakewood Church in Houston said: You can be pitiful or powerful – but you cannot be both! A man becomes better when he is intimately acquainted with his personal power – as such he becomes less pitiful. We have three choices in life: stay where we are, move backward or move forward. It’s up to you. Walt Disney said it best: You can be motivated or miserable. The choice is yours.

The truth is there are many instances in which brothers demonstrate a unified power. Mentoring groups, for example, show how men in our community work together toward a common cause that benefits not only the community, but each man, too. Mentoring groups reflect men who have tapped into and share on a daily basis a regenerative power based on principle rather than pity. The reason they’re so acquainted with this way of living is they are connected to the Power Source.


Be Resourceful not resentful:

A man who is becoming better sees the end of one thing as the beginning of something bigger and better. We cannot hold on to resentments about past wrongs – relationships which ended, failed ambitions at entrepreneurship or family conflict. Holding on to past pain is suicide on the installment plan; it kills your spirit, it deadens your drive and it suffocates your future.

We have resources within us and at our fingertips that can usher powerful results into our lives. James Allen penned it accurately: The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart – this you will build your life by, and this you will become.

Meet a man born with no arms and no legs, who, instead of fretting and complaining about his condition travels the globe and motivates people to be and do their best. A man committed to becoming better does not allow the word ‘can’t’ into their vocabulary; they know that if one door closes – another one’s got to be open somewhere. Instead of obstacles blinding him to opportunity, he allows opportunity to blind him to obstacles.


Be Faithful not fearful

A man committed to becoming better purposely walks toward their fear and that resoluteness springs from their faith – in himself and in a Higher Power. They intuitively understand that their life has been marked for greatness and move faithfully toward its completion. What are financial challenges to this man? What is the lack of a college education to him? Nothing! The words of J.Z. Colby ring loudly in his spirit: Personal power is the ability to stand on your own two feet with a smile on your face in the middle of a universe that has one million ways to crush you.

This man is faithful to his task, be it his children or otherwise. He knows that while he may not always have the best to give, he can always give his best. His mission – be it as a street sweeper, businessman or poet – is to hear, as Dr. King put it, the heavenly host say of his life – he lived and performed well.

When we make the commitment to become better men, amazing things begin to happen in our lives and in our communities.

Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes

One may also visit his personal website at; http://wericcroomesblog.wordpress.com.



One Response to “Better Men, Better Communities.”
  1. Marque Anthony says:

    A lot of what you say is correct but none of it will work until AA men and women are deprogrammed from the slavery mindset and that is what I specialize in. Perfect example, if you call yourself BLACK, you have been programmed. Black is the color of your car tires and it has never been the color of your skin. Yet those who defined us by color have made you forget your colors. That’s brainwashing.

    I am a family and relationship counselor and life coach. To the author, me at brainstormonline@yahoo.com and let me share some things with you.