(ThyBlackMan.com) Once upon a time African Americans respected each other. They were likely our grandparents, great grand parents or even further back than that. And though there are some of us who still respect ourselves and each other, something has gone very wrong. Yes slavery programming and Willie Lynche type brainwashing have taken their toll, but neither is an excuses for the blatant disrespect our people repeatedly show towards each other – not once we know the problem and the truth. We African Americans, as a whole, expect less of ourselves and each other than we do of other ethnic groups. We expect to be on CPT when we have to be somewhere. We are outraged when white police officers do to our people the same thing our people do to each other even more often. Respect has been lost.
Respect starts in the mirror. When you respect yourself, it shows in how you dress, act and react. When you respect yourself guys you know to pull your pants up without having to be told and you automatically know to be there for your children. When you respect yourself girls, you know not to dress like Kim KarTrashian or Nikki Mirage because you don’t have to show everything you have to everybody who has a pair of eyes.
Self-respect commands respect. Likewise, when you disrespect yourself or your people, it sets a tone that other races or ethnic groups follow (though they should be held accountable as well). Why do you think some white police officers believe they can get away with abusing and killing African Americans? They see our people do it every day. When we respect ourselves and each other, it will send a signal to every race, color, creed or national origin that WE WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING DISRESPECTED. Until then, we are more a part of the problem than the solution. We could learn that lesson from the homosexual community or the Muslims of the Middle East (not that I am promoting them). As a group, they do not tolerate disrespect period.
Understand the difference between being respectable and respectful. To be respectable is to walk with honor, honesty and integrity. It is behaving in with good character, strong values and morals. Being respectable is to set a consistent example regardless of how people treat you. Being respectable is not simply respecting others only when they respect you. It is respecting others even when they don’t. Being respectable says a lot about you – not about the other person.
To be respectful is often a response to how others are treating you. But this means other people are actually controlling your behavior. Being respectful is often conditional as long as you feel respected. But when others are disrespectful to you, the respect you show them quickly subsides. When the Bible teaches us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us and pray for those who try to use and persecute us, the bible is teaching the high road -the character of respectability. So always remember that being respectable is a higher standard than simply being respectful. 
Treat others the way you want to be treated, especially your own people. It has been called the golden rule to do unto others the way you would have them do towards you but too many of our people still don’t get it. If you mistreat people, it will come back to you. So whether we want to call it Karma, reaping and sowing, the boomerang effect or what goes around comes around – our people need to realize what we do comes back around HARD. If you run a scam, its coming back. If you speed up when you see someone trying to get over in traffic, it’s coming back. If you take a parking space you know someone else was waiting for, it’s coming back. If you have your “baby daddy” locked up or refuse to let him see his child only because he is with a new woman, its coming back. And guys, if you cheat on a good woman who loves you – oh yes it’s coming back.
Be careful trying to impress other races or ethnic groups by putting down your own (especially if you are a prosecutor, politician or police officer). In World War II some Germans escaped to Russia and provided the Russian government with secret information about the Hitler’s plans. The Russians listened then executed the German defectors. They knew that they could not trust those who would turn on their own kind. My point is simple. If you will turn on your own kind, other groups know you will turn on them just as easily – thus you cannot be trusted. And today, for example, you may be more likely to be killed by an African American police officer guard dog than by a white officer. Buy woe unto those African Americans who subvert and oppress our people because they are not respected by the upper level people they try to impress. These kiss-ups, Uncle Toms and “oreos” walk a thin line and play a dangerous game.
African Americans have to do better in business towards each other. If you are the business owner, do not sell your people junk or price gouge. If you are the customer, handle disagreements with respect – not by getting loud or acting like you lost your freakin mind. It’s amazing how negative programming can continue to make us work against each other.
We need to police ourselves, our children and our communities. When there is a riot we see time and time again a group of angry African Americans destroying their own communities. One Halloween I noticed African Americans throwing rocks at a bus – the same bus they (and their neighbors) may have to ride the next week. Black on black crime is awful and it is only hurting us. While I do not advocate violence, I definitely say we should be policing ourselves a lot better than we are before we complain about a Hispanic vigilante or a white cop out of control. Fortunately, we can address both simultaneously but that is not what is happening.
Where are our riots, protests, vigils or marches to demonstrate and speak out against black on black crime? Most are nonexistent and our so-called leaders are strangely silent. When we respect ourselves and each other, we can demand respect from the police and the courts – and get it. To get a copy of my FREE EBOOK ON POLICE BRUTALITY AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, email your request to brainstormonline@yahoo.com.
While riding the Marta train in Atlanta I have noticed so many cases where African Americans will not even sit next to each other. They will leave an obvious seat vacant and stand up instead. That’s sad. Yet I also notice white people, Asians and Hispanics sitting where ever there is an available seat. We see more African American men trying to date white women than ever before. Likewise, we see more African American females dating white men and putting down African American men than ever before. You should be able to date whomever you want but not for whatever reason you want. If you are dating a person of another race or ethnicity because you are shunning our race, you have a problem.
The failure to respect our own people has probably caused at least as many deaths, injuries, court cases and damages to personal property as any police department has ever caused. And before we can expect any other race or ethnic group to respect our people, we have to set the tone by respecting our own. Respect has to begin in the mirror or you will have none to give to anyone else. Respect has to be given in our churches, schools, homes, neighborhoods and African American owned businesses. We cannot afford to hustle each other, over price our products and services, provide inferior customer service or fail to stand by what we offer.
The message of this article is simple so spread the word. Respect yourself, respect our people and do not tolerate when any other race or ethnic group fails to do so.
Staff Writer; Marque-Anthony