The AA Woman (Assertive Aggressive) – Real Talk Relationships.

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( It has been awhile I know… I apologize… We on a new year while most things remain the same some things are changing.  I’m not going to expect everyone to agree with what I say. Everything just ain’t for everybody. I truly am one man with an opinion.  You don’t have to agree. You don’t even have to like it. And if you don’t like it be my guest and flip to another article, turn the channel, do something!  Hell, GO PEE I’ll be right here when you get back.  *shrugs*  The objective to the way I write is always to make you “think” or “look” at whatever the issue is DIFFERENTLY than you usually would. Not the same as someone else or me but different! Take the lock of your small box and step out of it for a second.

The Question?: Do men find aggressive women or assertive women in relationships attractive or is it a deterrent or scare men off?

It’s 2012 and it is no secret that the abundance of beautiful women heavily outweighs the men in almost any community.  Nobody wants to be alone. I don’t care how much women say they don’t mind being alone or happy being single we are NOT meant to go through life alone. GOD ain’t intend for no one to go through life alone.  That’s why EVERY living species on earth has a mate!  And there is NO … NOT ONE thing that can validate a woman or make a woman feel like a “woman” more than a man. Not even childbirth.  Some of y’all a few batteries away from marrying the “Rabbit” And for all the love inBethlehem for baby Jesus stop blaming men. Chances are if you woman and you always have to keep telling people or men how good a woman you are YOU PROBABLY NOT. Just because you say it doesn’t make you. If you always shouting out about not settling for men or their BS and about what you DESERVE from men chances are you always are settling and men treat you like shit because it’s what you accept. 

Some women are simply just not standing on the sidelines anymore and are being more hands on or proactive in finding a man!  I already hear some of y’all saying I ain’t chasing no man. Well who said you was chasing?  Being assertive/aggressive or proactive is just putting yourself in position for what all women should already think or know they deserve. The Bible says “a man who findeth a wife finds a good thing” The Bible ain’t say you couldn’t make yourself seen or your presence felt.  And as I say that I hear a few little voices in the wind saying “I’m Old Fashioned” just because you was raised by Big Mama, a older Auntie or you had the Mama & Daddy structure in your house don’t make you “Old Fashioned” YES you may take some of the values, qualities, morals learned from elders and claim you old fashioned when all the time you old fashioned when it’s convenient for you! You can’t be old fashioned some of the time… or half way. You either is or you ain’t!  I’m not saying in no way shape or form a man shouldn’t pursue you or court you or be chivalrous, but make sure you have something worth courting or pursuing.  You claiming old fashioned but because he attractive, he bought dinner and now the 5 shots of Patron done kicked in you going to be looking stupid with your car keys, cell phone, and panties all in the same hand as you leave in the morning. I bet you that ain’t NEVER happen to big mama! 

We as men are taught and instilled in us to be the “alpha” male, to take the lead, the known aggressor. Most men and I say most because some men can’t handle AA Women and as men we were not made to be accustomed AA women. It is a learned behavior, “adaptive” for us and sometimes it takes time getting use too. It actually feels good to be “chose“. Just like you have learned or adapted to become the aggressor men have to learn how to passive to a woman’s aggression. Ladies understand aggression should be like “Fishing” you make yourself seen, known, even taunt in a sense and once you put his hook on yourself what do fish do when they hooked? THEY RUN and then make him pursue you. Ladies think assault not assault and battery. If you got to the battery part you gone to far! Some of y’all don’t know how to turn it off.  You got to recognize and remember when to take the man pants off and give them back to him. Then there is the Assertive Unattractive, this when a man has no attraction to the woman and she is determined to get him. This sometimes is seen as overly aggressive and not that the man is scared but it is a turn off because there is no attraction there. Women have to learn when a man is being receptive to her aggressiveness or being turned off or it’s running him away. 

AA women are a growing trend and the whole goal is to be happy. There really is no manual or instructions on the pursuit of happiness. Some women have taken a new stance on finding a man while some just still stand and watch. And for me, I see you jumped in the driver’s seat of the Bentley and that is fine. I was so shocked you did it I even let you drive but by the time we get through a few stop lights the shock will eventually wear off. So I’m a need for you to get your ass back in the passenger seat!


Staff Writer; Jamal Montague