(ThyBlackMan.com) Brothers, never lay down with a woman that you don’t trust with your life. If conception occurs, and the relationship ends, her hurt/pain/ bitterness will cause her to use her womb as a counter attack against you, since betrayal starts in the womb (mental) first. We have to work on handling the disappointment of failed relationships but our wombs are NOT the place for experimentation. I know many speak about the fathers not in the lives of their children, but I would like to bring attention to the fathers that DESIRE a relationship with their children, but the Mother has used her womb as a poisonous breeding ground and has turned the hearts and minds AWAY from their Father. A bond that should be beautiful becomes ugly and tarnished. These children come out hating you, and because most children have a loyalty towards their mother, and have the desire to please her, if disliking you pleases the mother, then they will follow suit. Women we are the first teacher, but it doesn’t mean that what we teach is CORRECT. So again Brothers, never lay down with a woman that you don’t trust with your life, because if you don’t trust her with your life, then you can’t trust her to CULTIVATE life FOR YOU.
Sisters, Regardless of the “position” women are ALWAYS the receiver. A man can not enter unless you give him PERMISSION (forced entry being the exception). That means when you let a man inside your body, you are saying “I am taking everything that comes with you. Your seed, your spirit, your aura…..EVERYTHING!” When the weight of a man is on us, as we lay on our backs, we are saying that I am agreeing to CARRY YOU. If you allow entrance to a man that is NOT your Husband, if you didn’t require any discipline or responsibility BEFORE CONCEPTION, yet you still CHOOSE to RECIEVE him, then you are basically volunteering to carry his weight by YOURSELF. As soon as conception takes place, the responsibility is on the Woman and it will never be equally balanced because we are the CARRIERS of life.
Carry means- To support (a weight or responsibility)
To be pregnant with
To extend or continue in space, time, or degree
This is what we are saying EVERYTIME we lay down, so before we lay down, distinguish if the man you are about to carry will be a “pleasure” or a burden”.
With sex comes responsibility, this is why this should take place between a married couple that truly understand and know the sacredness of marriage, and how it should be protected. When a man marries a woman, he is saying I accept responsibility FOR you, than in turn gives her security and gives her the DESIRE to reproduce him.
Brothers there is so much intelligence in your seed, but you dumb your seed down when you place it inside a womb that isn’t capable of properly reproducing you Sisters, there is so much value in your wombs but you lessen the value when you accept seeds that have not matured yet. Your wombs are not for manipulation, your wombs are not the next come up and, most importantly your wombs are NOT weapons against the men in your life that have hurt you or disappointed you. It is very selfish to mold your children in YOUR bitterness. The responsibility of being a mother occurs as soon as you know you are pregnant. Your thoughts and your energy go in the child that you are carrying. We have to stop using our wombs as a place to engage in war against the men in our lives. We have to be honest with ourselves and ask the following questions: Are we really studying the men we have allowed entry in our lives? Has he showed us and have WE required him to show that has the ability and desire to be a good husband, father, maintainer and provider? Are we grooming our sons to be husbands? Are we grooming our daughters to be wives? Hell are we grooming OURSELVES? Did we desire a relationship or were we just fulfilling a NEED?
The purpose of the article is to make us think about whom we give ourselves too. We have so many single mothers and fatherless homes and it’s the children that suffer because their parents made “lust“. Instead of looking at each as potential mates we look to see if there is a “potential to mate“. Until we remove the lust from our relationships and replace it with love, starting with SELF-LOVE FIRST and start engaging and producing productive marriages, our children will continue to be in broken homes. There is no such thing as “free sex” because it is our children that pay the ultimate price.
THE LESSON: BE MINDFULOF WHO LIES BENEATH YOU AND WHO YOU LIE BENEATH. .
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.
@Childfree – i agree with you. Most of this article focuses on the unmarried women who choose to sleep with men they don’t know. Lust is the optical word in this union and not God, or divine interactions. As a single mother who was married for over 14 years, i did my best to be everything the Bible said i should be as a wife. My husband on the other hand, wasn’t a bad person, just financially driven to the point that he sold us out for the love of money. My children still love and miss him, but we’ve gotten to a point where we’ve accepted that he’s never going to be the father/husband i/we wanted and we’ve moved on from there. I want a divorce and as he lives abroad, can’t wait for him to visit so that i can get closure on that chapter of my life. I want him to have a good relationship with his children and i encourage that by talking to them. Im just hoping he’s mature enough to deal and want to see/ call them as he’s been doing.
Both men and women need to go into a relationship with open eyes, not the rose coloured glasses that new relationships bring. If i ever get into another relationship, i’ll take my time, cuz i’m not going in to fail again. I’d rather be single. God has to be the centre of this or any union i get involved in, and as im much more mature and wiser, i’m hopeful that i’ll attract a like minded man.
I’m all for equal responsibility when a baby is made, and I think that’s what this is about for the most part, but I find the writing all over the place and somewhat incoherent. Sorry, just my opinion.
@Mack, nope I date a one of the good guys. Not afraid at all. Here is the problem with our community. I say, I know this guy. You said, I don’t, but women … As men and women we always point fingers at one another. What’s the point. The point, there’s a problem in our relationships and how do we fix it.
Men leaving their families is a serious problem. Not all women chase away the father of her children. Some men want to leave and start over. Some of us men/women vet during courtship and blindsided, when the relationship desolves.
@ChildFree: The nicest guy can turn into a monster? Sounds like you’re carrying some serious ‘fear’ energy inside of you as it relates to relationships. I know of very few men who have ever walked away from their entire families after a divorce. I know it happens in books and movies, but rarely have I seen this in real life.
It’s been my experience, and those of some good friends, that when the man and woman divorce, the wives tend to make the kids some sort of a package deal thing. “If you won’t be with me, you don’t want to be with your kids neither!”
And then she does everything in her bitter power to keep the man away from his kids. Any dude that walks out on his kids was a weak individual and an undeveloped man to begin with. Proper vetting BEFORE marriage and/or kids would have revealed this.
Whatever that man turns out to be was usually present earlier on in the relationship. It just gets overlooked by the excitement of being in a new relationship. Walk slower into a relationship, and you’ll usually see the red flags before they become outright train wrecks.
If Afrikan descended women would take one min and step back and try to see and overstand why our children are so lost and locked out they would see that it is often due to thier own resistance to the natural order? If Afrikan women (desc) would take the tine to learn about MAN before they enter into relationships perhaps they could find a way to circumvent much of the madness being thrown at thier SONS” husbands fathers and Afrikan men in general? WHEN, Afrikan women decide that enough is enough and that they are finally tired of all of the blame excuses and drama perhaps their will still be a FEW GOOD AFRIKAN MEN LEFT? Now for those who choose to read this remember this is not as much as a question as it is an observation.
“Are we really studying the men we have allowed entry in our lives?” This statement is very true. Many of us men and women are not raised to think about that when it comes to choosing a mate. We find ourselves maturing into that thought pattern, with or with without children.
Much of this article is true but reality in the black community is very ugly, cold and hard. The self desturction of the black family is the end product of the sick and mindless actions that has now become acceptable and fashionable in our communities. Both black men and women are equally to to blame.
I agree to some degree. What about the guys divorcing their entire families?? They were a happy family for a number of years. We separate. He has nothing to do with his exwife or children. The mom encourages the relationship with dad. I know women chose the wrong guy at times, but the nicest guy can turn into a monster. Now what? Is this the women’s fault as well.