Sunday, June 7, 2020

Brothers Don’t Accept the Double Standard.

December 14, 2018 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Women are coming to the realization that they are worth having a partner that is supportive, loving, successful, driven and uplifting. They don’t have to settle for the brother with no vision. They don’t have to deal with mental, emotional, spiritual nor physical abuse. They deserve to be respected and have their space respected. They have every right to want a man that would treat them like a queen, with honesty and long term intentions. If they have big dreams they need someone that can see them as more than just a wife and mother; they can see their woman as an individual with ambitions and goals. They want all that they have accomplished to be respected and valued. Granted sisters can admit some brothers have been in some devastating relationships, but they don’t want to have to pay for the sins of another woman. They don’t want their character assumes, but to be seen through a fair set of eyes based on who they are.

It is okay to recognize there is certain baggage you can’t deal with, so you may pass on certain relationship options because the fit isn’t good for you. There is nothing wrong with needing these things, and creating a standard based upon what you are worth. The problem is the need for standard must apply on both sides.

Brothers you must also understand your worth, not your pride nor ego, and build your standard accordingly. If you want an educated woman with ambition you should not be shamed into being with a woman that does not have what you need. Just as women are not to be abused…neither are you. Domestic violence and abuse is not a women’s issue it’s a human issue. There are men being verbally, mentally and spiritually abused by sisters that feel they are not a real man if he can’t handle her being abusive.

There are men being beaten regularly, and their manhood is questioned if they think about reporting the assault. They are expected to endure the abuse and do so in silence. This is not okay. You must set your standard and if you realize a woman is abusive get out of that situation. As a human being you do not deserve that treatment, and it can end badly for you if it escalates further.

If you treat a woman like a queen, you deserve to be treated like a king…do not settle for less. You know she had been hurt many times but its important that you are seen for who you are. You should not have to fight the memory of her past relationships just to be seen fairly. If the situation is too much, or toxic, it is not wrong for you to step away from the matter. Triggers and mental illness, that often resulted from abuse, is no reason for you to become the abused.  Your mental health is also important; know what you can and cannot handle. Respect you limitations.  It is vital that you don’t live in double standards, nor accept them.

Fairness is essential to equality. Everyone has to work towards betterment and healing while giving what we expect. Far too often this is told from the woman’s perspective. All must be heard and respected for black love to grow. A parent should never want their daughter to settle for less, in a partner, than what she deserves; no exceptions to this principle should be made for their son. Brothers, in all fairness, know what you want, and need want in a partner, and allow yourself to be as unapologetic in your standard as sisters should do the same.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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