(ThyBlackMan.com) I have a confession to make. I’m a 36-year-old man and I’ve never been inside a strip club. No lie. I’m a rare breed, for any gender probably. And the truth is I’ll probably never go inside one. At 15, while hanging out with older friends in the North Beach section of San Francisco, I had my first real opportunity to enter an establishment to see some naked ladies. I declined and spent the next 90 minutes walking up and down Broadway street looking for music venues. Performing music and shooting hoops was all that was on my mind then. Today the desire to go has never really come. So, now that disclaimer is out, I gotta confess something else: I KNOW PEOPLE. We all do. Pro athletes, entertainers, bouncers, regular Joe’s. I reached out to them for the Top 10 things to never do in a strip club. Some of their answers were downright obvious and others made me fall from my chair laughing.
#10: B. G. says, “Never, ever ask the dancers for money to buy drinks. It’s rude.” B.G. is all about ethics and what’s right, even in a strip club.
#9: One of my best friends is a STAR. He’s worked with rockstars and Super Bowl champions. His answer seemed a bit strange. “I’ve seen it before and you’d be shocked. But man, never walk on stage in a strip club.”
#8: Hilly, a female and former music executive in Atlanta says to the question, “Don’t throw up. Guys and even ladies end up doing too much. Take it easy and enjoy the night.”
#7: One buddy, a frequent visitor to both strip clubs and casinos suggest something I thought was obvious. “ Don’t blow your rent in a night at the booty shakin’ spot. It’s dangerous.”
#6: Perhaps the funniest response I received was from Patty, a white financial analyst from southern Louisiana who said strip clubs are a monthly bill for him. He said, “Never put cat food coupons inside a g-string. It’s complicated, the story, but just don’t do it. It was a long, weird night for me.”
#5: Ben told me by text, “no cash, no champagne room. It’s like someone going to an amusement park with no money at all. You wouldn’t. So don’t .
The next several reasons come from “Simon” who for years ran security in strip clubs throughout the south. He’s seen, heard, and experienced A LOT in and around clubs, dancers, and patrons.
#4: “Never go to a place of business like that, NOT to spend money. These clubs aren’t just about sexy dancers and whatnot, it’s about entertainment. And entertainment, especially good entertainment cost money. “
The #3 thing never to do in a strip club, according to Simon, “body slam, loud talk or be aggressive with security or dancers. Security in these establishments is critical to safety and to turning a profit for all involved. Being aggressive or overly intoxicated will get you thrown out. That ruins your evening. I had a team member get body slammed by a pro athlete once. We kicked his ass. And kicked him out.”
#2. My buddy Patty returns for another dose of laughter here. “Seriously, don’t lick your money. Or anything else in a strip club. GERMS! They’re everywhere man.”
Last but not least, the #1 thing to never, under any circumstances do in a strip club is, “fall in love.” Each of my contributors agreed that they’d seen it or heard of it, and that it was totally embarrassing and problematic. The next time you and the crew head to the stripper spot, keep a few of these things in mind.
Staff Writer; Charles Foster Jolivette
This talented young man can also be found over at; The California Creole and also Charles Patreon Page.