(ThyBlackMan.com) I guess that if one applies enough pressure, the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle could be considered a significant occurrence in Black America.
I have watched as many black females of all ages have beamed with pride that Meghan Markle hascaptured the heart of Prince Harry, a happenstance of love. If I did not know any better, I would believe that they were having an out-of-body experience that transported them into the new bride’s position. Unfortunately for black women, Meghan Markle’s marriage will have no impact on their status as what Malcolm X termed “the most disrespected population on planet Earth.” I have been trying to discern what does it say about the present state of black women in regards to black love that so many of their number have placed such emphasis on the “royal wedding”; an even that does not possess the potential to impact their life one iota.
As a black man who holds the vast majority, certainly not all, of black women in the highest regard, the hoopla surrounding the “royal wedding” is troubling to me as it communicates a belief that so many of my “sisters” have essentially given up on forming a “perfect union” with a black man. Making matters worse is the harsh reality that black women are not alone in their pessimistic view of black love. I am confident that you understand my access to the private thoughts that black men share in male-centered spaces.
The alluded to private conversations inform my belief that black men are no more optimistic than their counterparts about finding a black woman and building a union devoid of drama, yet filled with unbridled happiness. Although difficult to state, it stands to reason that past hurts and disappointments have dulled cupid’s arrows to a point that black skin is often rendered impenetrable. Could it be that the adulation so many black women have hurled at Prince Harry and Meghan Meghan Markle’s union is akin to a psychological escape from the barren landscape of black love?
Sitting at the center of any discussion of black love is the shocking reality that all parties involvedhave legitimate gripes. There are most certainly black men whose sole intention has been to “run game” on black women and fleece them for all that they have. Likewise, there are black women who have done the same toward black men. It does not matter to those harmed on the battlefield of black love that the alluded to actions flow from either a depraved socialization or as a reaction to prior victimization. What does matter is that a significant segment of Black America no longer believes in Love; at least not with a black person.
I have taken these harsh realities regarding black love into account as I listen to so many black women instantaneously refashion themselves as hopeless romantics while viewing the “royal wedding”. In many ways, the swooning and fawning that I have witnessed emanates from some of the least likely sources; meaning “sisters” who have harbored contentious feelings regarding black love for decades. Alas, their reaction to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s matrimony reveals an identity that they have hidden for far too long; that being, a desire to be an active participant in this thing called black love.
Although I would love to end this posting with loads of optimism for black men and women in regards to finding black love, I cannot. The truth of the matter is that the terrain is rugged and the path is littered with liars, thieves, and conmen who long ago were optimists filled with good intentions. Anyone who has been unlucky in love will tell you that there is no efficient way to trod this stony road. The difficulty of finding black love is at least partially attributable in one way or another to the historical oppression that has shadowed persons of African descent since the first Africans arrived in Jamestown in 1619.
The discovery of black love is made extremely problematic as it appears that the standard viewpoint of most blacks closely resembles their white counterparts. W.E.B. DuBois offered insightful commentary on this phenomenon in his classic text The Souls of Black Folk. According to DuBois, far too many blacks view fellow blacks through “the eyes of others…measuring one’s sould by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.” Malcolm X touched on this matter in a highly memorable questioning of a black audience regarding “who taught you to hate yourself?” The alluded to indoctrination has led more than a few blacks to integrate negative caricatures used to malign black folk as verifiable facts, not dubious signs of unadulterated racial bigotry.
These matters have quieted my compulsion to denounce the black women championing Meghan Markle. I guess that such adoration is to be expected from disenchanted black females willing to grasp at any straw that provides hope that one of cupid’s arrows will eventually pierce their heart. Unfortunately for black men and black women, the presence of hatred and malice for each other will guarantee that even if Cupid’s arrow strikes them, the romantic feelings it installs will eventually dissipate when they come to understand that everything is more difficult for black folk in America, even love.
Staff Writer; Dr. James Thomas Jones III
Official website; http://www.ManhoodRaceCulture.com
One may also connect with this brother via Twitter; DrJamestJones.