Monday, July 16, 2018


Make The Most Of Your Marriage This Festive Season.

December 11, 2017 by  
Filed under Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.comIt’s a time for giving, being thankful and putting family above all else. But all the idealisation around Christmas can lead to huge pressures, Whether it’s dealing with difficult relations, pressure on budgets to give amazing gifts, or just the stress of trying to organise the perfect day, the festive season can take its toll. And often we show that pressure with our nearest and dearest. Using our spouse as an emotional pressure valve can be highly detrimental to keeping a strong marriage, so take the time this holiday season to reinforce those loving bonds. Here are just a few suggestions:

Make Time For A Christmas Date

What with all the preparation and family commotion, it can seem hard to find time to reconnect as partners and banish our cellphones. But use your holiday time to set aside at least one day for a special Christmas date. From finding a festive winter market to going to a carol concert together, find an activity that means you can celebrate the holidays just the two of you. The point is to make you feel connected to each other and not just part of a larger family unit. Think back to your first Christmases together and recreate something you did together then.

Serve Others Together

There’s nothing that gives us something to feel thankful for than helping others. So if you’re stuck in an echo chamber of the same old arguments, take the focus off you for a second, and switch it to helping those in need. There are so many volunteering opportunities to get involved in together, from delivering warm clothes and bedding to the homeless to helping an elderly friend with their shopping or inviting them for dinner. Or you could bake Christmas cookies for the local emergency services and drop them round. The glow of good feeling will make you both feel stronger.

Create New Traditions

Often we find ourselves stuck in creating the same family traditions around the holidays that our parents had. And while there’s no reason not to celebrate those, look for opportunities to create some new festive traditions together. From a weekly Christmas movie night at home leading up to the day to making a Gingerbread house together, find something that you both enjoy doing, Strong bonds come from a sense of shared history, so put effort into creating them at each other’s sides.

Mediate Your Disagreements

If things are really serious and the disagreements are endless, you may want to consider signing up for marriage counselling sessions. Opening up can be uncomfortable at first, but if you commit to it, you’ll soon start to see progress at working through any thorny issues in your way. If you do find yourself facing the end, a professional service like Austin Kemp Divorce Solicitors can offer some options to keep it civil while sorting through your disagreements – but before going down that route, consider what therapy and guidance sessions could give you back.

Pick an Extra Special Spouse Gift

Presents are the least important element of a successful marriage, but it’s not so much the gift as the thought that goes into that shows you care and value the opinion of your spouse. The best gifts don’t have to cost a fortune – there are some very expensive things out there that show no love at all – but they do need to be personal and from the heart. Something as simple as an original of a book they love or a soundwave print of your favourite song together speaks volumes. Or think about things you’ve always discussed doing together and get them booked – from a trip across the country to that new hobby you always wanted to try.

Staff Writer; Gary Adams


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