(ThyBlackMan.com) Someone much wiser than me once said, “You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons and daughters”. Negative affirmation is the opposite of positive affirmation; it’s affirming something that is unproductive, un-needful and un-founded. There is no greater tragedy on this earth than a dad who uses negative affirmations as part of his fatherhood vocabulary and prevents him from raising a son or daughter. Dads must adopt a power lexicon, one that enables them to greater success.
Negative affirmations are usually prefaced with “I don’t”, “I won’t” or “I can’t”. Negative affirmations are dangerous for dads because its use places you in a vicious cycle of ineptness and failure. You are literally speaking defeat into your experience!
I recognize there are obstacles of a legal, personal and financial nature that every father faces. I am also aware, though, that each of us is in possession of a power far greater than we can imagine, a power that undergirds our existence as men and as fathers.
If you want to be a great dad, you must eliminate the use of negative affirmations. Here are three (among many) to start with.
Negative Affirmation#One:
She Won’t Let Me See Them
This attitude predominates when you allow for the existence of any force that can keep you from your child. In other words, when you stand up, straighten yourself and engage in right-thinking, you will be convinced that no man or woman or force is sufficient to prevent you from seeing your child(ren)!
Fix:
Understand that you have just as much right to your child as she does. Go to court. Present your case. Document instances of denial of children. The one thing you must keep in mind: it is best to have clean hands when you go to court.
Negative Affirmation#Two:
I Don’t Have Any Money
There were weekends when I had my little man and had twenty dollars in my checking account. I did not fret or get frustrated; I just decided that I was going to make the best of the situation. What happened in most cases was nothing short of miraculous! The little money that I had seemed to multiply – not just in currency – but also in depth of the bond I had with my son. Tough times don’t last. Tough dads do.
Fix:
It does not always require money to have a good time with your children. For most children, visits to the park represents something spectacular. Children turn the mundane into excitement. Plan for visiting places that require no money. Visit the library.
Negative Affirmation#Three:
I Can’t Do It
What can you not do? What parcel of character are you short on that will preclude your success? What skill-set do you lack that you cannot be a positive force for change in your child’s life? Do you lack courage? Is it belief which you falter on? A cursory glance at who you are and what you represent will immediately strip you of this misguided belief that you ‘can’t do’ what a father needs to do!
Fix:
Let go of it! “I can’t do it” are four words that will keep you in eternal frustration and exasperation.
This requires an attitude adjustment. Today, stand up and say I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me! Do not sell yourself short. When you tap into your dad power, you tap into the greatest force on earth.
Make up your mind that it will require courage to be the kind of rock-star dad your child needs.
Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is a holistic lifestyle exercise expert and founder and executive coach of Infinite Strategies LLC, a multi-level coaching firm that develops and executes strategies for fitness training, youth achievement and lifestyle management. Eric is an author, fitness professional, holistic life coach and motivational speaker.
In October 2015, Eric released Life’s A Gym: Seven Fitness Principles to Get the Best of Both, which shows readers how to use exercise to attract a feeling of wellness, success and freedom (Infinite Strategies Coaching LLC, 2015) – http://www.infinitestrategiescoaching.com.