(ThyBlackMan.com) This is my tribute to my icon, the late singer Whitney Houston, whom I adored and loved and still love. Truth be told, in my short life I’ve only had four deaths surprises that really shook me to my core, one of which was the untimely death of my girl Whitney Houston. I take the liberty of calling Ms. Houston my girl, because in my head she was my girl who I related to through her songs. Before Beyonce’s song, ‘Girls Run The World,’ she sang, ‘I’m Every Woman.’ As a child of the nineties, at the peak of my adolescence years, I was a faithful aficionado of many of Ms Houston’s songs.
I had slew of favorite songs, from ‘I Believe The Children Are The Future,’ ‘I Want To Dance With Somebody,’ to ‘I Will Always Love You.’ I could go on forever about how she was a pop star and an icon of my generation, and my daughters as well, but I feel I would be telling you something you already know.
Without a doubt, like many of you I anticipated the Lifetime movie of her life. And I’m guessing like many of you, I had questions I needed answers to. Unfortunately, as I watched the movie with intense scrutiny I don’t believe those questions were answered, and instead I was left with more questions than answers. From beginning to end I kept thinking that the movie was an attempt to mislead not only me, but many of Whitney Houston’s fans. It seems to me that the story was one sided. That is, the story was told from the perspective of her infamous ex-husband, Mr. Bobby Brown. In truth there are a lot of things we don’t know, and will probably never know for that matter, but I was, and still am convinced that Mr. Brown played a big role in my girl’s demise, and consequently the debacle of her singing career in the latter years of her life.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ am all for taking personal responsibilities, but it’s profoundly hard for me to believe that Mr. Brown was an innocent bystander and Whitney Houston was already on a downward spiral when they got together, as the movie portrayed and would have me believe. However, since I’ am not a gullible fool, and being a child of the nineties when drugs was widespread, especially in an industry where it was readily available, I will give Mr. Brown the benefit of the doubt; not because of what was shown in the movie, but because of what was not shown. Which leads me to the question: Aside from some of the leading factors which make some use drugs, like bad influences, poverty, environment, bad relationships, and so many others, what was it for Ms. Houston who appeared to have had it all?
The fact of the matter is, the truth is always more evident than a colorful lie, and the answers we seek are always in plain view. But that doesn’t change the fact that since the untimely death of my favorite singer, my girl Whitney Houston, I have been in a turmoil and wishing I didn’t have to mourn her. And the Lifetime movie only added to my confusion, and my ultimate anger over the portrayal of a coked up diva. So despite the rule I have of not watching anyone I feel a certain closeness to on TV once they have past away I find myself going back in time to find the answers I sought on YouTube.
The reality show ‘Being Bobby Brown,’ on Bravo TV which aired in the summer of 2005 was my first glimpsed into the life of my favorite icon. What I saw in the first, and last seven episodes of their life together was that of two people who loved each other without shame. Minus the fame and fortune, their relationship appeared to be like any other relationship. They looked to be devoted to each other and their children. In so many ways, I understood the allure of the ‘bad boy,’ and why Whitney was bewitched by Bobby’s charm regardless of what others thought or felt.
I will even go as far as to say, even though their relationship was doomed from the start, that their love appeared to have been real. But all the same, I was relieved, even happy when the relationship ended, simply because it was in my opinion an unhealthy relationship.
To say I was devastated when I heard that Whitney Houston had died suddenly would be a titanic understatement. Three years ago before that cold February winter day when we found out we lost a great icon, and a gifted singer we may have lulled ourselves into believing that our beloved Whitney had somehow conquered her demons; and if nothing else, we breath a sigh of relief as we anticipate her next album. But history tells us otherwise. I feel the lost of Whitney Houston like she was a member of my own family, but wherever she is, I will always love her.