(ThyBlackMan.com) The moment Simon Cowell confirmed that his girlfriend Lauren Silverman was expecting his baby and would become his wife, the British media couldn’t wait to cast Sinitta his best friend and lover of nearly 30 years as “the crazy black woman”, something they love to report about.
This is a step beyond the “crazy ex” and far worse. It is sadly a stereotype media love to jump on gladly, so they can dehumanize the person saying things they do not wish to hear and cover up their own mistakes.
Sadly people still fall for it, and in the UK Sinitta is now being ridiculed by all and sundry, while Simon Cowell has gone from “guy who shagged best friends wife” to “loving fiancée and doting dad stalked by crazy ex,” in the eyes of the media and those that believe them. Sinitta does not deserve this after her long and loyal time with Simon, so let’s look at this from another perspective And educate people who are outside the UK whom might have heared snippets, but have no clue about what’s truly going down.
Sinitta has stood by Simon Cowell since the 1980’s. Her first single “So Macho” earned Simon Cowell his first million and he could set up his own record label thank to this. She had already made her name in musicals before she met him. The couple had a long term relationship and were even engaged. They split up briefly because Simon didn’t like the fact that she was more famous then he was back then. Despite this they soon got back together and formed, what Sinitta must have thought was an unbreakable friendship. Friends with benefits even, if you will.
The couple seemed to have a strange straight version of Will and Grace going together (“If you date Will, you’re dating Will and Grace”,) where they remained fiercely together, despite the other person dating someone else (Sinitta even dated Brad Pitt for a while!!)
When Sinitta decided to quit music to concentrate on working more behind the scenes (in the 90’s she took a very long break away from everything after a big depression), she became Simon’s right hand: coaching and styling his X Factor categories, advising him, working on his schedules, and even carrying his bags. She was there 24/7 nannying him, loving him.
She bit her tongue when the media and comics ridiculed their friendship (comedian Alan Carr did a particularly humiliating sketch), ignored million Pound offers to spill the beans about the “real Simon”, even if Simon didn’t do the same and defended Simon no matter what. She worked her but off for the man, despite being treated as a desperate hanger on by the media. No-one realised that it was her that styled and coached acts like Leona Lewis and One Direction when they were on the X Factor, so Simon was free to work on other things. Many celebrities would give their right hand for a friend like this.
In the last few weeks it was revealed in the media that Sinitta had an abortion in her years with Simon Cowell. Sinitta says it wasn’t her who revealed Simon’s name to The Mirror, as she never even gave an interview to that paper.
She also says that she did not have the abortion in 2009, as the paper claims. The fact that she speaks the truth about this is easily confirmed, as she told all about the abortion (bar Simon’s name) and that Simon told her he never wanted children to the Daily Mail in an interview in 2009. Here is the extract:
“Sinitta loves Magdalena and Zac, the children she adopted more than two years ago, with a passion. After spending the first six years of her life in a foster home, until her teenage mother – singer Miquel Brown – was able to cope with a child, Sinitta was desperate to create the traditional family set-up she had missed out on. It’s the reason she separated from Simon: she wanted children.
‘There was a time, I’ll come out and put my hand up, when I thought I would grow up, marry Simon and live happily ever after,’ she says. ‘Then, I realised he wanted to do something different with his life and I knew I definitely wanted that storyline for myself.
‘We could have drifted along for many years because we’re very close, very companionable, very compatible. We find it very easy to be together. I’ve known him since I was 14. I didn’t have a brother or a father when I was younger, so he’s the male figure I’ve had in my life the longest. He’s covered everything, from boyfriend and friend to father figure and boss. He’s just so many things to me.
‘It was hard for him, and me, because I had to be the one who had to go and do it – get married and change things. But you have to be honest. You can’t expect people to sacrifice their life, to live the life you want them to live. Likewise, I had to make sure I could have the things I wanted, even if it meant I couldn’t have other things I wanted.’ Sinitta is quite distraught now. ‘I’ve had my babies and that was always a big thing for me.’
Sinitta went to hell and back to have her children, suffering four miscarriages before trying IVF. After three failed attempts, they turned in desperation to a surrogate mother, Kerry West, and were ecstatic when she became pregnant using Andy’s sperm and her eggs. But Kerry miscarried twice.The second time she had been carrying twins. Sinitta beat herself up, blaming what she now refers to as her ‘wild’ past.
This is the first time she has spoken about it with such candour, and only now in the belief that her honesty might help other young women. ‘Not being able to carry my baby full-term was very hard,’ she says. ‘You just assume you’ll have children. But I had surgery when I was younger, so my uterus is unable to take a pregnancy to full-term. I also terminated a pregnancy.
‘The person I was with thought I was too young, and didn’t think I was ready to start a family or that it would be good for me or my career.’ Sinitta will not reveal who the father was. It’s the emotional fall-out that still preoccupies her now. ‘I’m very spiritual,’ she says. ‘But I did get religious at one point when I kept losing children, thinking, “Maybe this is a divine punishment because I terminated a teenage pregnancy.”
‘At the time I did it, there was no counselling, nothing. I can remember thinking, “Actually, that wasn’t too bad.” I was surprised I could wake up the next day and carry on with my life, and nothing terrible had happened to me. You think you’ve got away with it, and it comes back to get you 20 or so years later, and you’re like, “Wow, so that’s the price I’m paying for what I did.”
‘I realised, of course, that God isn’t like that – that I wasn’t being punished,’ continues Sinitta, who has, since 1993, been a minister at the so-called rock ‘n’ roll church, Hillsong, in London, where she guides young people. ‘Now, I don’t even let my head go there, because you regret, regret, regret.
‘You have to think, “I made a decision. Keep going. You have to be strong.” Maybe my whole life would have been different if I hadn’t had the termination. But there’s no point going there. There were two paths and my life went down one.’
When she got married in the early 00’s she did everything to keep Simon included in her life and made sure he never felt left out. She did this to the point that there where four people in the marriage in the end: Sinitta, Simon, her husband and her husbands ex and things became strained. Simon naturally became the Godfather of Sinitta’s children and after Sinitta’s divorce he became their surrogate father. They spent many holidays and Christmases as a family.
As the interview revealed: “they spend virtually all their time together. They speak every day on the phone, work together on The X-Factor three days a week, and on Sundays they go for lunch or to the shops, or go round to Sinitta’s mum’s house or to see Simon’s mum.”
It felt as a relationship, as she said: “we’re together all the time anyway, so it’s kind of together without the heartbreak.’ When asked: Why has Simon never wanted to get married and have children, she said: ‘If Simon were to marry, he couldn’t be the kid. I have three children now (she means Simon is her eldest child) and it’s OK.”
After being this close, for so many years is it any surprise that Simon suddenly ringing up and saying: “Hi Sinitta. I’ve impregnated my best friends wife I’m going to marry her and be a daddy,” came as a punch to the stomach for her? It must have felt like the worst kind of betrayal. Had he included her from the start, there might still have been pain, but she would have felt like his close confidante, as she had been for almost thirty years. Their bond was deeper then a normal friendship and she for all intents and purposes was his wife in a way. As an insider said: “They could have been parents together once and there is a bond between them.”
It is sad that after all these years Simon didn’t even take the time to check if Sinitta’s interview was real (he of all people knows how the media can manipulate,) or had the courtesy to tell her about his baby to her face. Had he done the decent thing, Sinitta would have never felt as hurt or betrayed as she is now. Reading in the papers that Lauren demanded that Simon now stays away from her and that he simply obeyed must have been the final nail in the coffin.
It is interesting that Simon now feels he has to be loyal to the mother of his child as he hasn’t been to Sinitta who back then was also carrying his child. Yes, you can say: he was younger then. But even a casual reader of her interviews over the years could see how much she is still scared by that abortion and the fact she was never able to have a child of her own after it. After years of friendship Sinitta deserved better.
Sinitta now, probably, feels as if the only way she can reach Simon Cowell and to get the truth out is on Twitter. The fact that she is willing to agree to a lie detector test on live TV shows that she is serious about all of this. She feels hurt by friends who sold her secret to a paper and betrayed by a man she thought had her back for nearly 30 years. Someone she thought would be with her for the rest of her life with. She is also confronted again with the biggest trauma of her life at the same time that another one is happening.
Does the media know? Probably. Do they care? No. She is a black person hurt by a powerful white man, so she is crazy and wrong to defend herself and be hurt. He is important and untouchable, so despite everything she did for him she is not allowed to speak out and should be happy he dignified her with his presence for so long.
A sad testimony of the fact that where the media is concerned nothing ever changes.
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Staff Writer; Dannii Cohen
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