Finding My Barack: Why the Prez is Beloved by Black Women. : ThyBlackMan

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Finding My Barack: Why the Prez is Beloved by Black Women.

January 23, 2013 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Barack Obama is more than the nations’ first black President and, although he is the husband of the first lady, Michelle, Obama is now a prototype of the Prince Charming that many black, single women long for, and, apparently, cannot find.  The prez has now inspired a new generation of single women who are looking for Mr. Right; that man, whoever and wherever he may be is, in the eyes of these women, ‘my Barack’.  Is there a ‘Barack’ for every ‘Michelle’?

The answer lies in our willingness to cut through the malicious milieu of stereotypes and assumptions about black men associated with under-employment, the penal institution and other issues – stripping away the distortions – and understanding there may be a ‘Barack’ right up under your nose.

To be sure, Barack Obama’s stature – and his sex appeal – vastly supersedes that of many black celebrities and entertainers from present and by-gone eras, including Billy Dee Williams, Denzel Washington and the rapper Nellie.  Why is this? He is a ladies’ man! Not in the same vein as the smooth-talking, nocturnal-stalking, slickster intent on copulating with as many women as possible, but rather that he possesses the sterling assets that most womenobamamichellekissing desire in a man. 

One, he possesses personal qualities – integrity, intelligence, commitment – that most women find elusive in the available pool of black men.

Two, the prez effuses about his wife in a sincere, envy-invoking manner that brings tears to the eyes of the single, mate-seeking sista, who would love to be in the First Lady’s shoes.  I mean if you do not know what being in love looks like – just look at the First Couple!

Lastly, Obama has scaled the pinnacle of the American experience without losing his mind at a time when many young black marriageable men have succumbed to self-destructive lifestyles.  He is the penultimate representation of what one writer has described as the ‘preferred black male.’

Nevertheless, there are both drawbacks and rewards to Obama’s statuesque appeal among the single-sista elite.

Rewards: When we transfer Barack Obama from political type to romantic figure, clearly the prez sets a new standard for black men.  Moreover, while there are plenty of men who love on their mates as powerfully as Obama, images mean something, especially in our culture.

The picture of a black man as wholly committed to one woman so lovingly makes even the most notorious of playas take note.  Moreover, the romantic ideal, of which the prez is a supreme representation, will induce men to do better, to come more correctly, and to articulate that ideal in their interaction with women.

For so long now, men have trumped the numbers when it comes to the ratio of the black sexes. 

Obama’s appeal may change that.  The prez is now evoking a new image of monogamous possibilities (to the extent that men may actually begin a journey of ‘finding my Michelle’). 

That is huge, because as so often is the case in our culture, what we see most of usually sets the trend (what images, after all, did Clinton and Kennedy conjure?).  Scandal notwithstanding, the Barack effect could actually lead to more men giving fidelity an honest shot.

Drawbacks:  A psychoanalyst may argue that most women are drawn to qualities in men that mimic that of their fathers.  With the advent of the Barack and Michelle, however, we may want to toss that notion aside.  ‘I’m looking for my Barack’ is now the rallying cry!

However, that comes with its own inadequacies.  Women may be attracted to men with Obama-like characteristics, but they may also overlook men who indeed may be ‘Barack’ material, but lack in areas such as height, sex appeal and educational attainment. Or, he may be – God forbid – a nerd!  In short, these men would make excellent mates, but may not measure up (especially in light of the bravado some women are attracted to in so-called ‘bad boys’).

Let us face the facts: sistas have always had high (some would argue too high) standards.  Obama’s meteoric appeal may exacerbate that even further.  If the prez as romantic figure has zero defect (he even reportedly gave up smoking), then how will the brother on the elevator, in the mailroom, the truck driver or any blue-collar bro fare in the always-shifting opinion of black sexual politics? 

In the world of shifting imbalances in the ratio of the black sexes, are there enough Baracks for every Michelle?  It depends largely on what each individual is looking for, but it depends even greater on the degree that we are in possession of those superlative qualities we seek in another.

Staff Writer; W. Eric Croomes
This talented brother is also founder of a Non-Profit Support Group for Fathers; Their Eyes Were Watching Daddy.
One may also visit his person website at;



39 Responses to “Finding My Barack: Why the Prez is Beloved by Black Women.”
  1. Rameses says:

    You’re welcome Deanne….I thought it was as well

  2. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    @Rameses Just read the article about Professor Rice. Highly interesting. Thank you.

  3. Rameses says:

    Condoleeza Rice is someone many black women can learn from. However, she will not get a lot of praise because she’s Republican. I actually like her more than Michelle because of her many accomplishments, but also of her sobering thoughts on foreign policy. Very intuitive and distinguished. Many black women tout their degrees as a barometer of success but many look silly in comparison to this woman. Her accomplishments speak for themselves. Now I don’t care how much can Michelle do the Dougie. Her policy concerns are more important to me on serious matters. But, I still respect her. But for many black women who demand a Barack type man, this woman Condi Rice is more accomplished than most of you, yet she has never demanded anything. She just has felt she as never met anyone she will feel comfortable living with.

    very interesting article….I totally agree with it

  4. Andre says:

    @Deeann D. Matthews said it best: “I wonder how many realize that the time spent looking for Barack must be spent becoming Michelle.” Nuff said!

  5. Ramses says:

    Sankofa I have no time for dudes who get less respect from me than gay black men. I never thought I would say this but I respect gay black men more than the ones who claim they are straight but say stupid shit like Marcus and this carribean bum said. Niggas think it is sinful for you to demand respect as a black man. People have gone to war to defend their family’s honor since the dawn of mankind. But we all know how perfect women are. The same type of women who requested John the Baptist head on a silver plate. At least the gay black men show you their weakness up front with no pretense. Men like this actually hear what they want to hear based on the “bitch” in them. It’s clear I am not saying abuse women. You’ll know how I bring it on here. If that’s how I felt, I would say it directly. However, “bitches” require other means to keep them in line. Hell look at Rihanna. Most of these people will psycho-analyze her decision to get back with Chris Brown, but the truth of the matter is, there are many black women who have more respect for men who will go upside their heads than those who think like Marcus and carribean jerk chicken. How can a nigga tell me not to defend my family honor? That’s the weakest, most ponkest, simp type shit I’ve ever heard in my life. I would never attack someone’s parent (although I’m willing to be critical if I’m with someone who allows their parent to manipulate them) especially someone who is dead. Notice how these dudes didn’t even say “damn that’s messed up that someone would say something negative about your deceased parent.” They immediately jumped to a chick’s defense they didn’t know solely because it’s a female. Female can attack me physically and emotionally and yet these tampon wearing ass niggas claim that I’m a woman beater. But my woman can tell you I’ve never put my hand on her!!!! My family honor means a lot to me and I will defend that to the death. Period. Now since niggas don’t really comprehend the family structure thing anymore as a whole, this concept of defending family is foreign to niggas like these. It’s funny how when a female is disrespectful to a man, gender doesn’t come into the discussion, but when a man hits one with a taser who is attacking him on a job, the argument is all about her being a woman. How about the chick was a criminal. She was a criminal that happened to be a female. I’ve even heard gay black dudes say they understand why some females get their asses handed to them. You mean to tell me gay black men agree with me more than so-called straight dudes when it comes to someone attacking my dead relative? LOL!!! This is why I keep saying the black man, as a whole, is a coward and I understand why he keeps getting his ass handed to him and this is why you can’t have brotherhood. To be honest, for the most part, I don’t even like black dudes because of their weak ass mentality. I respect pimps more than these type of dudes because a pimp knows how to keep a hoe in line while these dudes get pimped and get put in line by females and then go onto sites like this and try to put on a cape in front of these chicks and make real men look bad because these men refuse to take disrespect. You have scrawny Chinese men who get more respect from their women than Ray Lewis size black men who actually allow women to slap them in the face and do nothing. I’ll put it to you like this: I wish a bitch would slap me in the face. It would be the last time she do it and the reason why these females think they can slap the shit out of a man in the first place is because homo type dudes like Marcus and carribean jerk chicken will allow themselves to get hit and these women think all black men are like this. Nah black woman. Please don’t put me in these niggas category because I am not. If you want weak men like them cool. Slap them all you want to. But me on the other hand it’s not going down like that with me. Period. These dudes can see females spit on and attack bus drivers, attack men working in McDonald’s and get tasered for attacking a man and calling him gay and inciting her kids to call him gay, and you have dudes like this who defend them still. LOL…. Sankof we can clear these dudes are accustomed to taking ass whippings and want company because misery loves it. LOL… I remember in 2006 my homie was dealing with this black chick and she asked him :would you ever hit a woman?” He said “as long as she doesn’t put her hands on me we cool.” She responds “so you’re saying if a woman hits you you would hit her back?” He said “if a woman kicks me in the balls or slaps or punches me in the face I will knock her ass out.” She says “oh so you’re just a woman beater huh?” He said “look, if a woman never puts her hands on me, she will never have to wrry about me hitting her, but if you’re a woman and you know you can’t control yourself from getting physical with someone you deal with, then you need to get some help first before you decide dealing with someone else.” It was as if this black chick wanted to have the right to hit a man whenever she get mad. Hell I’ve been with females who made me mad but my first instinct was not to hit them and I have the phyical strength to make them do what I want!!! Yet i am willing to talk and compromise. So if I can respect my own strength and keep it in check, and not use it to be a tyran to a female, how can someone who’s considerably weaker than I not control her emotions when she lacks the capability to physically force me to do anything at all? But these women only think like this because you have playtex dudes like these who will allow a chick to slap the shit out of them and not defend themselves and look at a Man who has every right to protect his person, no matter the gender attacking it, yet attack this type of man for being an “abuser of women.” What a bunch of dummies

  6. sankofa says:

    So because Ramses said he would put his hand on a woman, y’all dissing him? So I take it that either one of you if you were that Cleveland bus driver, that Mall guard being confronted by that hood rat, that father with his children being confronted by another hood rat out in LA, or that young brother being slapped by those two dusty lesbians, y’all would back down?

    Please put things in context. If a female get’s in my personal space and is aggressive with me, I see her as a threat and treat her like she expects me to see her, as a “badder” man than I. If you are a knee-grow believing in this fairy tale, go right ahead, but don’t force your misplace chivalry on cats who are liable to throw down. Ramses comes hard and harsh, you don’t have to agree with him and by all means no one is above being challenged. But I am tired of hearing simps talking shit about “don’t put your hand on a woman” as if all of this comes out of a vacuum. . If we can dog out the knee-grow males for their bullshit and suggest corrective measures even to corporate punishment, the same should hold for the modern “independent” female. Now I know this post isn’t about hitting females, but how it segues into that from delusional females looking for that “Mr. right”, I am unclear, but it is still instructive. Instructive in that we still can’t dialogue on the point of the moment without making shit personal.

    @Pat…see the movie Hoodwink by Janks Morton, I believe the owner of this site did a review on it awhile back. Also see his previous work What black man think. Both will open up your eyes to how propaganda and stereotypes can and does screw with your own perception of yourself.

  7. Marcus Vessey says:

    It’s in your right to defend your dead parents honor by striking a woman? That is not cool, and it is assault. And I can show you how to develop a corporate business model. That is what I do all day everyday.

    Come on Ramses.

  8. John says:


    I was right! You put hands on women before! You are narrow-minded as I wrote before. I am not African even if I am proud of this continent whatever the racist things we hear all the time in the media. My roots are from the West Indies! For your information even I don’t owe you any, I have a very successful business. You are just enraged because you know you are not an Obama, you don’t arrive to his knees!!! Black is beautiful. You named Latinas who don’t age well like Whites, lol!

  9. Ramses says:

    Be gone peasant….and for the record I have never put my hands on a woman..but I have had to lay hands on bi@#&%es….when someone mocks a dead parent it’s within your right to defend their honor….but just because you know multiple languages doesn’t mean you know how to express a complete thought that’s coherent with those languages. Show me a business model to run a corporation then you will impress me. But as long as you are someone else’s servant, don’t try to impress me with the language thing..and oh by the way..I study spanish on my own so when I go to SOuth America I can holla at those latinas with that long hair with no weave. And plan on learning a couple more. Matter fact you corny son go bakck to your hut nigga…I don’t even like you african niggas anyway

  10. Pat says:


    We want your sources!!!

  11. John says:

    Thank you Ramses for your comment!

  12. John says:


    I expected this kind of answer from you. I have 0 respect for you and I know you have no class. I read what you wrote elsewhere in this site and I would not be surprised that you have been physically violent with women in the past. You seem to not be able to read also, if I have some mispellings it is because as I wrote English is not my first tongue. I can bet that you only know one tongue because you are soooo narrow-minded. I know three languages and I am learning a fourth one, Spanish.

  13. sankofa says:

    I had started to write a response to this article when it first came out, but somehow I got bounced off the computer and saw it as a sign, because I was going to come in hard on the article. This article exemplifies what is wrong with knee-grows today. Deeann D. Mathews and blackmanly’s response should have laid to rest any further comments. @Ramses…thanks for putting this character, John, in check, in defence of sister. Just a note Mack, and you are right in Steph’s questioning the numbers at HBCU instead of all schools in the country. If you have ever seen hoodwink, in it the director broke done how he was able to counter the fairy tale of more of us residing in prisons than n dorms and came up with the fact that the number of African females in college only outweighs us by a small percentage. There are much more of us in college than in prisons. More of us graduate than anybody else including Asians, and sisters have a higher drop out high school rate than us.

    @Deeann D Mathews, I Just completed the first of four workshops dealing with manhood and showing cats how to be a man before he becomes a “black” man. I wish I could use your experience and knowledge when I put together my workshop for females. It’s always a good thing to not have a cheerleader, but someone who can actually put forth credible points in debating an issue such as this. Right now there are too much emphasize on education over common sense, a job over collective economics and the mantra of “still I rise” instead of each one teach one.

  14. Mack says:

    The source for my information:

    I also stated before that the black male college attendance reflects the overall numbers within the black population. Since there are more black females than black men, naturally there would be more black women attending college. That’s like me drawing the conclusion that black women are underachievers because more white women attend Yale than black women. It’s a flawed argument. For someone as highly educated as you claim to be Steph, I expect more thoughtful research and answers from you. After all: YOU set the bar high by repeatedly reminding us of your higher degree of education.

    The source of my info:

  15. Mack says:

    John and Steph: The most highly educated group of men in the USA are black african immigrants. Not Asians. And they’re also running their own businesses and firms, outpacing what Asians are doing. Are you trying to tell me you can’t find a highly educated and mannered Africa man in your town? I ain’t buying that wooden nickel…

    And why you (Steph) seem so fixated on what Howard University alone is doing is beyond my comprehension. Especially since historically black colleges like Howard only account for 22% of all bachelor degrees in the African American community. Why don’t you use a more honest measurement by checking the stats on black male college enrollment at ALL colleges and universities? You can start with Morehouse, since you like HBCUs so much; which I can assure you has a higher population of male over female students.

  16. Mack says:

    Deeann: the answer for me is simple: doing things the old school way. People today seem to have a problem with oldschool values. Instead of building on the solid foundations of yesterday, they attempt the foolish by reinvented the wheel. No good architect or builder throws away the principles of engineering. Those principles might be 1000 years old; but they are used and built upon nevertheless; no matter how modern the structure. It’s only this blind, miserable and wretched Laodicean age and culture we live in that despises the wisdom of the elders in favor of something new. And look how well something new has worked for us…

  17. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    @Mack Barack vs. Shawty Lo… those are some stark options. The irony: most men (and women) are actually somewhere in the middle there. How can we learn to enable one another to become Barack and Michelle? I know Black folks that went back to school and did all sorts of betterment things once they were assured of the love and respect of that one special person; I know a few who, wanting to be that person for somebody else, likewise did all the betterment things they possibly could to get ready. How do we learn to enable each other and to lift each other up, not handicap each other and cut each other down? Barack and Michelle Obama have got the question answered for themselves; the rest of us need to seriously begin figuring out our answer as well.

  18. Ramses says:

    you’re welcome Deanne

  19. Ramses says:

    “I am a very well-educated woman.” This is Deanne’s coment to Steph dude. She clearly states she’s a woman…get out of here with that lame excuse dude…..and even if what you say is true you thought it was a man, you question whether who you thought was a Man handles his business at home? Why you worried about what he’s doing at home? What did that have to do with her comment towards the article? You assume that the “man” you thought that was Deanne couldn’t hold his own which was a direct challenge to the manhood of someone you don’t know and if you can’t articulate your thoughts in an articulate manner because of language barriers, then don’t get on here. WHat are you African? If so I’m really not impress especially with that arab arrogance you all come here with. Don’t think I don’t know a lot of your angles of those that come over here. You africans will flash a cheesy smile in front of a white person and snitch on one of your own to get ahead just like negroes here will. Don’t trip…@Mack you know how I do!!!!! lol…I don’t attack bruh I state my case take it or leave it….

  20. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    @John I am a woman… my name is very close to the male name Dean, so I get that a lot from those for whom English is a second language. I am not offended (but thank you Ramses and Mack for covering a sista just in case). And of course I am aware of the dropout issue; I used to teach middle school, and I know exactly how and why that statistic persists. But everybody talks about the problem; I look at the exceptions because I am surrounded by such men, and also because such a man is who I am looking for. One of my mentors says, “You don’t get what you want; you get what you focus on.” One will never find Barack while looking cross-eyed and talking about at all the men that are not him.

    One parting thought, John. I am not a man, so I cannot give you the idea of submission from the perspective of a female mate. But I can tell you that for four generations back of my own, good male leadership and supportive wives have transmitted wealth and spiritual, educational, and cultural values forward quite well. The other way does not appear to be working as well, to put it mildly. I think that I am going to stick with what has worked…

  21. Mack says:

    And don’t get it twisted: ShunQuiesha’s come educated too.

    @ramses: Thanks for verbally pistol-whipping John character. Ms. Mathews embodies the mentality of genuine femininity. Unlike others who would consider a man uncultured for wearing a hat indoors, but doesn’t feel the need to bow and do curtsies whenever she walks into a room. Or who has the gall to check the misspellings of someone when she clearly doesn’t proofread or spellcheck her own works. A perfect example of the type of entitlement females have, thinking themselves worthy of a Barack type of man, when they’re barely worthy of a Shawty Lo…

  22. John says:


    You have a serious problem. Where did you see the word “gay” in what I wrote. I assumed that Deeann was a man. You have a very narrow way to see things. You never thought once that maybe English is not my first tongue which is my case. So, I don’t necessarily know all the English first name. You seem to be the kind of man who attacks verbally and maybe physically easily people!

  23. Ramses says:


    definition of black trash which includes so-called educated blacks

  24. Ramses says:

    lol @Mack

  25. Mack says:

    Michelle Obama’s are looking for their Baracks. ShunQueisha’s are looking for their Shawty Lo. Huge difference.

  26. Ramses says:

    I just had this black dude on youtube call me a dunce because I made a comment he didn’t agree with. His first response to me was to call me out my name. Black men/women are very infantile, as a collective, when it comes to hearing comments they don’t like, especially from black men but from people in general when they demand better behavior from them as a collective. It’s like people take the criticism of the “black collective” as personal attacks. This is why you can’t have black think tanks because niggas would leave from the first comment they hear they don’t like. Sad indeed.

  27. Ramses says:

    Are you serious John? You’re gonna disrespect Ms. Matthews with that disgusting statement suggesting that she’s gay? WOW!!!! I can’t say I don’t believe you said that because it’s typical of the Bigger Thomas type of nigga (see Richard Wright’s “native Son”). That was one of the most disrespectful comments I’ve ever seen a man make towards a woman I know, from reading her comments, is not gay. What makes it even worse, she was defending black men!!! How could any Man with sense find fault with her comment? You are sorry for making such a suggestion that is clearly meant to be personal and hurtful only because you don’t like what she said. Black people are infantile in their thought process for real. Those stereotypes whites used to have about blacks being emotional and child-like have been proven true on this website and the people who come on here are allegedly “educated.” I myself have been attacked personally for saying things blacks don’t like as well which doesn’t bother me. But why would you do something like that? You deserve an old school beat down for that shit for real. When I watched that video of that black chick in Atlanta getting tasered by the security guard no doubt I was appalled. But I was more appalled by the black dude who let his baby mama disrespect that black man like that for almost 20 minute until he put a stop to it. You remind me of that dude. Won’t stand up for righteousness yet defend stupidity. Most of the black women I was around in college embraced women’s litrature, women’s liberation doctrines that pushed thme away from black men even further. This is fact bruh. So if you’re educated with an ethos (worldview) to hate men, you are not gonna respect them dude. Yo can have all the education you want but it’s what classes you take and what doctrines you embrace that matters. This is why she brought up her grandmother and grandfather’s relationship to contrast the different ways of thinking our elder generation had. It’s why i talk about so many times on here my great grandparents bruh. I am completely flabbergasted as to why you would insinuate Ms. Matthews was gay? There was a female professor who I exposed for sleeping around with male and female students while in college. She taught African American studies and none of the male professors held her accountable because they were having sex with her as well. This one dude came to me after we had a face to face discussion as to why I did it, in which he initially agree with what I said, only to come back and say to me “Man she got kids.” I said her kids didn’t come into play when she was out whoring herself so why when she exposed do they matter now because if it was a Man doing it, you can be sure no one would have had a problem embarrassing him in public. However, when his ex began dating someone they nutually both knew, you know what this dude did? He went on facebook blasting the chick and said “if you want to have my sloppy seconds, then go ahead.” I went to this chick and confirmed that it was she he was talking about. Dude got emotional like Carl Thomas. Just like you did with your comment. I expect comments like that from chicks. But as I have learned, in the words of Tupac Shakur “some of you niggas are bitches too.” You need to apologize for real cause that was some bitch nigga shit you just pulled. See people I defend women worth defending. Not a hater. I just defend those who are worthy of defending. That’s what a gentleman does. And notice how I was the first to do it and am not doing it for brownie points or too gain favor with Ms. Matthews for a sexual advantage. It’s just the Man in me that’s all. Dude you are a joke in every sense of the word. This is why I refer to myself as a Moor cause I don’t ever want to be confused with weak ass black men. Never

  28. John says:

    In addition, Deeann D. Mathews you seem to focus on exceptions to the rule. The reality is 60% of Blacks dropped out and as Steph wrote hardly 30% of Black males are at Howard. With these terrible statistics, it explains our unemployment rate and the absence of Black fathers in most of our homes. Asians are highly educated and have the lowest unemployment rate in the Nation.

  29. John says:

    We would be curious Deeann D. Mathews to know how the woman you are sharing your life with thinks about submission. We would be curious to know if she feels that you treat her well!

  30. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    @Steph I am not saying a lack of education is doable… but the world seemed to have little trouble getting along and passing cultural values to the next generation long before European models of what constitutes education and intelligence became the primary measuring stick — and long before women began using that measuring stick as the primary gauge to know whether a man knows what he needs to know to be a good provider, husband, and father. There are PhD men who are homeless, unable to find work. There are people that dropped out of high school that are millionaires and billionaires… they just have people do the writing and editing for them. As I was recently told, such men’s first assistants are often the women that truly love them.

    I am a very well-educated woman, Steph, who knows that the mastery of mere eighth-grade math and English is sufficient, combined with real-world business experience and training, to build a billion-dollar company. Managerial accounting, which is what businesses use to determine what price points they sell things at (among other things) is built largely on concepts from eighth-grade algebra. Most business plans are not too much higher, accounting for specialized vocabulary in some spots, than that same eighth-grade English I used to teach. I know men — personally — who have dropped out of high school who are doing things that will better the Black community for generations. And, the one man — my grandfather — who provided the initial California base for me to be here this day and do all the things that I do and know what I know never went to college. His wife did… and she used what she knew to help him instead of walking away from him because he did not have all the things educationally and materially that she might have wanted him to have at that moment. He was not her equal in education, nor did he possess her family’s relative wealth; thank God she had better sense than to focus on that and throw him away.

    All matters are spiritual, Steph. I know far too many people that are proud of their Eurocentric college education without a clue that pride was the sin of the devil — the first sin, and back of all the tragedies that have occurred since, the sin that has caused people to overlook the very thing God has provided for their betterment because of their predisposition to think what was good for them would be a second version of themselves. It is idolatry in a mirrored disguise; again, all matters are spiritual.

    That said, there are some Black men out there that are not ready, that are missing critical parts of their true education… but there are as many Black women with a college education that are missing parts as well. No amount of education would have gotten Michelle Obama to where she is unless she also had the humility and understanding of how completely devoted she needed (and still needs) to be to her husband’s goals and needs, and my experience is that it is very, very hard for many educated Black women to deal with the idea of submission — that terrible word — to the will and plan of her husband. In my grandmother’s case, she devoted herself to a man who was not her equal in education and resources, and with her support Grandfather accomplished for his entire family what no president could ever do, and few college men nowadays — even from Howard — would even have learned the skills or had the inclination to do. Thus to me, from the White House to my house the lesson is clear; to be united with a great man requires first and foremost the ability to be a great supporter. That is the bit that most of us educated women are still learning in our journey to find Barack… how to be Michelle, the great woman who exercises her greatness of intellect and ability in her complete devotion to Barack.

  31. Steph says:

    WOW! Can you tell us Mathews how any parents whatever their race can provide what is best for their children without an education? Spirituality… is not enough!

  32. Steph says:

    WOW! Can you tell us Mathews how any parents whatever their race can provide what is best for their children without an education& Spirituality… is not enough!

  33. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    Becoming like Michelle has nothing to do with education; it has to do with being able to be completely supportive of a husband’s agenda. Mrs. Obama is at one time one of the most dynamic and least independent Black women on earth; everything she does has to be SUBORDINATE to the needs of President Obama. Her only “job” outside the home: reflecting well on the president in every way. Whatever great ideas she has that do not enhance his mission, she keeps to herself, unspoken, not acted upon, lest her husband’s enemies gain an advantage. She possesses personal grace, and respect for the president, that few modern men have probably experienced from a modern woman. Many of us have a lot of work to do before we can show the kind of respect and support a man like Barack Obama needs in a wife. So I persist in saying, for myself if for no one else, the time spent looking for Barack would be better spent becoming Michelle, a woman whose great power is put into gracious respect and support of her husband.

  34. Ramses says:

    totally agree blackmanly

  35. Steph says:

    We like men who dress well, who are polite, well-read, etc. I met recently a brother who had a University diploma. He looked good but had poor manners (didn’t know that when you are inside, you have to take off your hat…) and wore the same jeans four times out of 6!!! I didn’t tell him but I was not impressed at all. I saw his CV with misspellings. I told him about it seeing that he was complaining that he doesn’t have the job he wants. He doesn’t understand that he has to dress for success! To be gentle, I didn’t say anything about his attire however, I told him that he has to be careful about his misspellings in his CV. Instead of being happy that I wanted to provide him great advice, he told me it was an insult! My jaw dropped. Our last meeting didn’t go well and it is the last time I will see him. I am glad that we have a Obama because it was about time to raise the bar!!! Obama has etiquette, etc. This is what it takes to make it in any society!!!

  36. Marcus Vessey says:

    So with Obama as President does it official mean that light skin men are back in?

  37. blackmanly says:

    As a black man I have noticed many articles from black women about the president and this fantasy princess like dream they seem to have about him. People can write about whatever they want to but to hear some of this ridicules dribble is going over the line. I’m more than sure if these same black women had meet Obama when he was a student or just during his twenties, therefore a highly intelligent well spoken black man, they wouldn’t have given him the time of day. They would have labeled him a nerd. These are the same black women who would have been lusting after some thug/trifling ghetto trash who has several children with various sorry low life females.

  38. Steph says:

    I am highly educated and people compared me to Michelle. Unfortunately, I cannot find my match like too many of our sisters!!! We observe that too many of our brothers do not take life seriously, they have a lack of ambition, etc. Hardly 30% of our brothers right now are at Howard. This speaks volume of their mindset!!!

  39. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    This is an intriguing article… but I wonder how many realize that the time spent looking for Barack must be spent becoming Michelle. It is one thing to look for a first-class mate. It is another thing to become a first-class mate for that person.

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