When Child Support and Personal Vendettas Collide.
(ThyBlackMan.com) I posted the following on my facebook page, which sparked interesting dialog:
“I was talking to a Sister that I know and she is upset about how she receives child support. So listen her ex is a genius lol. He opened up a pre-paid checking account for her, gave her the card and he takes money out of his check every pay period (an amount they agreed too) and deposits the money in the account. However, she does not have the pin number, so she can’t withdraw money, and he can look online and see everything that she pays for to make sure all his “child support” goes directly to his child. So now she is taking him court, she is asking for more money and for the money to be directly deposited in her account. I said what’s the problem with what he is doing? I said you are going to lose in court. I said that if you don’t have the intention to use the money for your personal shopping spree what does it matter?
I commend the Brother for what he did and I would urge all Men to do the same thing. I am telling you, she is going to FAIL in court, I have tried to talk her out of it, but she is being stubborn. She said she doesn’t know why she tried to talk to me anyway, and I told her I don’t know why she thought I was going to co-sign on that madness, she is wrong, she is being greedy, she is
being vindictive, she doesn’t want him to have control, SHE wants to be the one to control the money and she has no real VALID reason to take this Brother to court. NONE! I hope the judge makes a good example out of her, because the Brother wants to make sure the money for his child goes to HIS CHILD, not whatever the hell SHE wants to spend the money on. “
As much as I would like for the Brother would win, I know and I was reminded that Black Men rarely get justice in an UNJUST system. The Child Support System along with many others is designed to keep the Black Family destroyed. What I found the most interesting is that some felt she was justified pursuing a child support order against the Brother. Their initial agreement of 1200 a month (for their three year old) was signed and notarized, but she doesn’t like the WAY she is receiving money. I asked her why it would matter IF the money is for her child?
It seems the Black Man is damned if he “do” and he is for damn sure damned if he “don’t.” We hear or read stories about so called “dead beat dads” all the time, but in this case this Brother WILLINGLY stepped up to the plate, and is contributing financially without the order of the judge and his ex-wife still isn’t satisfied. I asked her what valid reasoning do you have for taking him to court? She kept saying she didn’t like the control and his ability to view how she spends the money.
So in other words, she had no valid reasoning and SHE wanted the control. Hypocrisy at its finest. One Sister commented that the Brother’s actions are “demeaning”, but what is going to court? It certainly isn’t honorable. Because of her filing this action in court, their parental relationship has also suffered. She might go to court and “win” and get the money deposited in her account, but what if she is granted a lower amount than what he is already paying her? If the situation were reversed and SHE had to pay, I am sure she would want to know where every dime, nickel, quarter and penny is going.
I personally think the Brother is a genius for making sure his money goes directly to his child, because that is the PURPOSE of child support isn’t it? Some made comments about rent, electricity and things of that nature, but the Sister has a job of her own. Besides as an adult you should be able to handle your OWN expenses. I know Women who don’t receive ANYTHING for child support, and here is a Sister that receives $1200.00 a month and isn’t satisfied about how she receives it.
Some of the comments seemed to be in defense of the Sister, but in my opinion she is wrong, her motives are wrong, her intentions are wrong and I expressed all of that to her. It seems at times that Women will defend other Women even in wrong, and the Brother was condemned while the Sister was given a pass. As usual deflection made itself known and almost every question or statement was directed towards the Brother, such as “well obviously he doesn’t trust her” and CLEARLY he has good reason not to! I see NOTHING wrong with that the Brother is doing and I would encourage others to follow suit.
It seems as if for those who chose to use it in this manner, the child support office has become the most effective way to carry out personal, bitter and vindictive agendas. The Sister feels strongly that she will come out on top, and even if she does “win” she has much more to lose. She is very sure of her upcoming victory, her last words on the topic where” Girl you know they love hanging niggas in South Carolina”. Yes, they do, unfortunately she doesn’t realize that SHE is in possession of the noose.
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects