Letter to my Unborn Daughter…

Like
Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry

(ThyBlackMan.com) I am going to tell you now; your daddy ain’t shyt. I need to put that in your head right away.  He wouldn’t marry me, and I thought by getting myself pregnant, that would make him commit to me, but he still didn’t.  He left me, now all I have is you, but don’t worry you will NEVER see him, but I will make sure that we will get him for child support, believe that!

Babygirl, listen carefully. You can’t depend on a man, ESPECIALLY a black man for ANYTHING. They are all dogs, they are good for NOTHING do you hear me? NOTHING! You have got to have your own. Go to school, get your college degree; it will be much easier for you as a Black Woman anyway. You will get much better jobs than him and higher pay and you make sure you bring that to every Black Man’s attention, and never associate with a Black Man that is BENEATH you. Meaning if he isn’t making double what you make,  then move on. Also please make sure you have your own secret bank account, so when he fails you (there is no IF, because he WILL FAIL), you will still be ok.

Don’t let them give you that “Willie Lynch” speech as the reason why he can’t prosper either.  Please if it wasn’t for the white man I wouldn’t be sitting in this house right now, I wouldn’t be able to buy any groceries, and I wouldn’t be able to get a voucher to send you to daycare when you are born, I wouldn’t even have insurance so  I can go to my doctor’s appointment. That white man has been better to me than any black man ever will.  I am teaching you these lessons while you are in my womb because I don’t want you to struggle like your mother. If you have a child by a man, make sure he has some money so you can get that child support check. I know I can’t wait to get my hands on my first check. Shoot, I need some clothes, I need to get my hair and nails done, some new furniture, oh and I will make sure I pick up a couple of things for you too sweetheart. 

The beautiful thing about child support is that it is the BEST revenge! A man doesn’t want to marry you, he doesn’t want to commit to you, then take him to court and engage in holy matrimony with the child support system. You know Black Men are afraid of jail, and the judges will always rule in our favor.  Bleed him dry Babygirl, you make him pay. I’m so glad I am having a girl, that way whatever I teach you, you can pass the lessons through your womb, and we will keep generating “strong black women that are independent, and don’t need a man.”  I can’t wait to see you; I just hope you don’t look like your daddy because I do not want to see his face everyday. Don’t worry, I know they say that every little girl needs a father, but I will be both your MOTHER and FATHER. 

You see I am teaching you everything you need to know about men already, and remember let this be your mantra “All Black Men are Dogs”, you can’t ever forget that. Don’t open up your heart to him, and if you open up your legs to him, make sure your rent is paid, your light bill is paid and whatever else you need.  You get your strength when you make HIM weak.  Don’t worry, Mommy will teach you everything you need to know to prepare you for life, and most importantly I am preparing you  for a life without HIM.

Love your angry, bitter Mother

While this letter is symbolic, do you notice the realism in it? How many of us as women are shaping our children in our bitterness, anger and resentment because of a failed relationship? Instead of healing and handling the disappointment, we use our womb as a counter attack against the men in our lives. How unfair is that? Let me make a  CLEAR distinction, I am specifically referring to Brothers, that have the DESIRE to see their children, but the Mothers are making it hard for them, because the man no longer wants to be with her. Do we not see how we are hurting our children? As women we have been given the beautiful honor of creating life, we have no right to misuse and manipulate that gift.  We turn the hearts of our children against their fathers while in the womb, and they come out hating their fathers, and if we are producing daughters, they come out hating Black Men in general.  We are denying our daughters to have a productive relationship with their fathers, then feign ignorance when our daughters become reckless and promiscuous, seeking the love from a man that we never allowed her to meet.  

With our sons, we foolishly convince ourselves that we can teach him how to be a man, as he too begins to seek his lessons of manhood in the streets.  A word to all the mothers that tell their children their “daddy ain’t shyt”……..when they are mature enough to come to an understanding, they will realize that it is YOU that ain’t shyt, because you refused to heal, and projected all your hurt on your children.  Our wombs have become weapons of mass destruction, and our children are becoming “casualties” of the war we have waged against one another.

Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad

To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit; Nojma Reflects.