(ThyBlackMan.com) Power struggles within marriages served as the spirit that gripped many of the client/couples my wife and I counseled with in the most recent weeks. We even had one husband recently utter the “S” word – you know sub, sub, sub, submission – ok I said it.
Wondering what spores where transmitting through the universe to cause such a power-based spirit lead me to reflect on the universe. I began to focus upon the relationship between the sun and the moon. Consider this: the sun an
d the moon, in existence for billions of years, are known to possess authority over life. The sun and moon, in conjunction with one another, regulate the cycle of a day. Genesis 1:16 reads, “God made two great lights – the greater light (sun) to govern the day and the lesser light (moon) to govern the night.” So my question is, if the sun and the moon can exist in the universe for billions of years and do what they are purposed to achieve without a power struggle, then why is it so difficult for a husband and wife to achieve the same?
Okay, if the sun and moon are too deep for you – then someone explain to me why a lion and lioness don’t scrap for power in their relationship. Now I know there might be one person who reads this and reasons that the moon knows it is the lesser light and the lion sits around chilling while the lioness goes hunting – so why would there be a power struggle. But the reality is that the moon provides lesser light than the sun, but it’s role in the universe is just as critical as the sun, and the lion’s role as the protector is as valued to the pride as the lioness hunting. The sun and moon never compete for individual dominance. Day in and day out – like clockwork – the sun and the moon work as one to achieve that which it was purposed for the universe. The lion and lioness know the skills that each brings to the pride benefits the pride. Unfortunately the spirit of pride fills too many marriages preventing those unions from living in the sphere of oneness.
As humans we are suppose to be the smartest creatures on earth. God’s word clearly states that we are made in His image; being made in God’s image means that we are godly. And if you were to root out the core of God’s word you would probably dig up the word “Unity” – the state of being undivided and living in oneness. So why do the most intelligent creatures on earth behave with an intelligence void?
Those marriages steeped in a power based struggle are marriages of division and God’s word reads in Matthew 12:25, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”
How’s the division in your marriage working for ya?
If you are enslaved by a power based spirit then it is clear that your purpose for marriage has nothing to do with marriage (you win and your spouse loses means the marriage “LOSES”), and everything to do with your selfish disposition.
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but cannot have what you want. Your quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God, when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures,” James 4:1-3.
Your marriage can’t flourish when seized by a senseless capitalist consumption for power. When those moments begin to rear up in your union here are three suggestions to follow:
- Return to your youth of yesterday and remember why you got married. Prayerfully you married because of the love and joy you had for each other.
- Reflect on the you in the situation. I understand that your spouse can be difficult and has irritating habits, but so do you. All changes for your marriage must begin with “You.”
- Remember your marriage will leave a legacy for your children. Do you want to will a legacy of brokenness or one of prosperity? Either way your marriage will leave the inheritance for your “children’s children.”
Staff Writer; Reginald Williams
For more articles on Relationships visit Rule Your Wife and for Marriage Counseling; Marriage Nectar.