(ThyBlackMan.com) Congresswoman and Presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann’s recent decision to sign something called the ”Marriage Vow” has sparked major debate. To be honest I sincerely doubt she even read it. The pledge Congresswoman Bachmann signed this week is sponsored by The Family Leader, an Iowa-based group of Christian social conservatives. The “Marriage Vow – A Declaration of Dependence upon Marriage and Family,” attempts to support it’s argument that “the Institution of Marriage in America is in great crisis.”
By signing, she agreed to ban pornography, called homosexuality a choice, and implied that slavery — while not perfect — at least guaranteed that children grew up in two-parent households. Among other things.
But I want to focus on this:
“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.”
There is no secret that we have a marriage and family crisis in this community. To be honest nearly half of Black Americans have never married—the highest percentage for all racial groups. Only 30 percent of Blacks are now married. Nearly 10 million Black families lived in the United States in 2010. Twenty-one percent of these families were married couples with children. This is the lowest 
for all racial groups. The U.S. average is 32.4 percent. We also know that more than half of Black kids live with only one parent and that’s overwhelmingly with their mother. A home headed by a single mom often equals an economically poor home.
So there are issues here. However, Congresswoman Bachmann is NOT the person to even begin to discuss this issue. After all, this is the same Representative Bachmann whose grasp of American history has never been firm, particularly when it comes to slavery. She has stated that the founding fathers “worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States,” despite the fact that several of our Nation’s founders owned slaves and fought to keep slavery alive in the new republic.
To demonstrate what she signed and how these same social conservatives are playing politics and do not care about the plight of what is going on in Black America when it comes to families the institution of slavery didn’t recognize the very concept of “family” among captive Blacks. Marriage between slaves was, after all, illegal. And parents and children were routinely separated, forever, at the auction block.
Dr. Lorraine Blackman,an associate professor at Indiana University’s School of Social Work, is cited as one of the authors in this marriage pledge. Even she is on record saying Bachmann’s statement is in error. Dr. Blackman pointed out how that she wouldn’t have objected if, instead of 1860, the pledge Bachmann endorsed had selected a year sometime after slavery ended.
“As soon as they could,” Blackman said, “former slaves rushed to get married.” This led to a relatively high — and quickly growing — rate of marriage among African Americans.
There has always been Black families when it came to the middle class. Most of those who considered themselves middle-class were still confined to the inner city and lived among the working class and poor blacks. Things changed with the Civil Rights movement. Since the 60s the Black middle class has grown tremendously. Black Americans have moved into more White collar jobs and are more educated than ever before. No longer isolated and identified by skin tone they integrated into White middle class neighborhoods and developed their own Black middle class neighborhoods.
By the 1990s middle class Black America was well established as a separate community and was no longer forced to live with lower income Blacks. Communities such as South DeKalb (Atlanta), Prince George’s County (DC/MD), and Baldwin Hills (Los Angeles) sprung up across the country and are still growing today.
But I do agree that Blacks have a long way to go in a very short period of time in this country. The biggest driver of rising income and living standards of American families is the two-paycheck family. Due to low marriage and high divorce rates, too few Black Americans benefit from that trend. 70% of Black babies are born out of wedlock.
From 1974 to 2004, the median income fell 12% for Black men while rising 75% for the women. One partial explanation is that twice as many Black women as men graduate from college. Because a high-earning woman has little incentive to marry a low-earning man, Black families will continue to rely primarily one income.
Some feel achieving middle class status is a guarantee that children will start achieving in school. However, studies of well-integrated, middle-class school districts, such as Shaker Heights outside Cleveland, show that many teachers and parents tent to have lower expectations of black students. Even in majority Black suburban school districts Black students (especially boys) grade significantly lower than white students of the same income level. Reasons for this are parallel to the explanation of why the Black middle class is in danger.
32% of Black American middle-class households meet the education threshold for economic security that at least one member of the household has a bachelor’s degree or higher. This falls well below the national middle class average of 36%.
34% of Black American middle-class households are at high risk because neither the primary earner nor the spouse has any education beyond high school—well above the national middle-class average of 27%.
68% percent of Black American middle-class households have no net financial assets whatsoever and live from paycheck to paycheck.
Only 2% of Black American middle-class families have enough net financial assets to meet three-quarters of their essential living expenses for nine months if their source of income disappeared. well below the already alarmingly low national average of 13 percent.
Even more alarming, 95% of Black American middle class families do not have enough net assets to meet three-quarters of their essential living expenses for even three months if their source of income were to disappear. This figure is well above the national average among all middle-class families of 78 percent.
70% of Black American middle-class families have every household member covered by private or government health insurance, well below the middle-class average of 77%.
30% of Black American households are at high risk because at least one household member is not insured, both well above the national middle-class average of 23%.
Black liberals will blame conservative policies while Black conservatives will blame the welfare state that liberals implemented in the 1960s. Instead of finger pointing why don’t we try bridging the gap between both groups to make a difference. The crisis is on both sides of the fence and instead of letting Bachmann come in and divide us let’s come together to solve this marriage crisis. The scary thing is the number of Black conservatives jumping to defend Congresswoman Bachmann when in fact she signed the pledge without even reading and examining the document in full.The other scary thing is how Black liberals are calling her a racist.
While social conservatives like Bachmann are being political and not solution-oriented it is out responsibility to take control of our destiny as a community. Personally, Bachmman will never get my vote especially after this endorsement. The core issues of our nation right now are education, the economy and health care not banning pornography. And let’s keep it real here..the same social conservatives who sign these pledges are the same ones that always get caught later on with their hands in the cookie jar. They are just as hypocritical as the heathen on the street.
The REAL REASON why marriages have failed in our community because of the high level of distrust between the sexes. Women do not trust men and men do not trust women. We are too busy pimping, playing games and lying to each other to have sex instead of understanding each other. The lack of marriages is not a political issue but a spiritual and social issue. We already know that the church has failed in this regard because 90% of the church are filled with Black women…Black women who are already coming to the alter with a bitter spirit. Its even more bitter when they find out that the pastor (normally a male) has had an extramarital affair, is gay (in many cases) or is in trouble with the IRS.
Here is another reason why Black marriages do not exist.
People come into the relationship determined not to change. Some people are so stubborn, prideful and set in their ways that nothing you tell them or show them in black in white is going to change them. They don’t want to hear about compromising, or least of all make the effort to compromise. When you come into a relationship not willing to compromise or hear the other person’s point of view to possibly work out an issue, it’s really over before you even say “I Do.” Marriage in essence “is” compromise, so, those entering in marriage with the intentions on remaining unchanged are strolling in the wrong park.
Many couples, although they’re individuals with free will, fail to be honest about who they really are and what they really want when they’re dating. The person they marry doesn’t even fully recognize them once they’re married and their true personality emerges. You’ve heard people say, “He changed after we got married,” when in actuality their true personality emerged after the marriage. If you want someone who is compatible with you, show them who you are from the beginning. That is one of the main ingredients for a happy marriage.
If you’ve ever seen a couple where the man and the woman do what they want, with whomever they want, it is clear that there are no boundaries in that relationship. Marriages in which the couple refuse to sit down, talk and set boundaries have a greater chance of ending in divorce. Not setting boundaries is like not having a fence around your house and leaving your front door wide open–anybody can walk in and rifle through the things you hold dear. Boundaries are designed not to keep tabs on your spouse or limit them, but rather to keep those who may not value the marriage as much as the couple does, completely out.
You see, Congresswoman Bachmann would have NEVER explained this to you from this angle. Nor would the social conservatives who support her and this pledge. It’s deeper than President Obama policies, the welfare state or liberal or conservative policies. The lack of marriages in 2011 has never been political but a lack of spiritual trust, lack of communication and most importantly unconditional love.
We say America is a Christian nation but I am still waiting on someone to prove this to me. I am asking because a true follower of Jesus Christ can neither divorce someone nor marry someone who is divorced. There is an exception to the rule, however. If spouse commits adultery, divorce is permissible. On the same token, the Bible also says that anyone who obtains a divorce and marries another is in adulterer. Remember that 80% of this country is Christian yet we have a 50% divorce rate. A majority of divorces are a result of irreconcilable differences, not adultery, which implies that Christians are again practicing selective morality. How many Christians are working on a second, third or fourth marriage? Divorce rates among conservative Christians are significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience. Conservative Protestant Christians, on average, have the highest divorce rate, while mainline Christians have a much lower rate.
The Associated Press crunched the numbers from the U.S. Census Bureau and found that the highest divorce rates are found in the “Bible Belt” in the South. This rate is found in Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christians who tend to utilize the “submissive” Biblical model of marriage. Because members of this form of Christianity are more likely to be located in the South, other factors are that folks tend to marry younger, have less education, and have less money, all factors that increase rates of divorce. This is what Congresswoman Bachmann have pledged her support for The Family Leader. Not because she cares but because she need votes shored up for the upcoming Iowa Caucus.
The reason for the difference in what the churches believe and the actual numbers may reflect the fact that divorced folks report that their churches are not supportive of a couple choosing to divorce so those who divorce tend to drop out of church. Thus the church doesn’t realize how many of their members are divorcing. In addition, there is the possibility that church-going couples rely more on being “born again” than on developing relationship skills and so lack the tools to help their marriage survive rough times.
So before we go off making excuses on why Michelle Bachmann should support a so-called marriage vow and how the Black family is not married today as compared to slavery in 1860 we need to look far deeper and examine our faith, our religious institutions and the way we look at one another. The easy way out is to complain about the welfare state but the hard way out is to look at the spiritual welfare that exists within our own home and spirit. It’s about commitment not politics. Marriage is a ministry not some political ploy to get votes.
Finally, let me bow to all of the single mothers and fathers out here who are making it happen for their children the best way they can. It’s amazing how social hypocrites will sit here and promote marriage between two people, be pro-life and beg you not to abort your child but by the time the child is born you are still looked upon as a statistic because you are a single parent in their eyes. A REAL “conservative Christian” would introduce you to someone that they may want you to meet to connect and build with instead of sitting on the sidelines criticizing you. So what if you are a single parent. Shake the dirt off your shoulder and keep it moving. There are too many single parents I know whose child are honor roll students, attending schools like University of Pennsylvania, University of Michigan and Harvard, have traveled the world and have served in our military. All come from single parent homes. It’s about how you carry yourself as an individual not becoming a statistic.
And if you are single and cannot find someone here to marry in the United States the Diaspora is full of men and women waiting to be married.
Staff Writer; Akindele Akinyemi
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