(ThyBlackMan.com) Kamala Harris is one of those public figures I have had to sit with a little bit. I cannot say I ever looked at her and felt only one thing. There was some pride, sure, but there were questions too, and I do not believe Black voters should feel guilty for asking questions. Down South, you learn early that everybody smiling at you is not automatically for you, and everybody who looks familiar has not earned your trust.
When she rose to the national stage, I understood why a lot of Black folks felt something. A Black woman standing that close to the presidency was no small thing. I do not care how many people try to act like firsts do not matter anymore. They still matter when you know how long our people were told to stay in our place. They still matter when you remember there was a time not that long ago when a Black woman could be brilliant, prepared, educated, and still be expected to sit in the back and take notes for somebody less qualified.
But pride does not mean blindness. I never believed Black people had to clap for every politician just because that person has some connection to us. That is not wisdom. That is emotional spending. We have done too much of that already. Harris has a record. She has choices behind her. She has political alliances. She has things that need explaining. Any serious Black voter should be able to say that without being accused of hating his own people.
Still, something about the way this country has gone after her has never sat right with me.
I am a middle aged Brother from the South, so I know a little something about being told to act right before you even know what you did wrong. A lot of us grew up hearing it. Speak clearly. Do not get loud. Keep your hands where folks can see them. Dress decent. Do not embarrass the family. Do not give people a reason to mess with you. Some of that was good home training. Some of it was survival talk. Our elders knew what kind of country we were walking into.
They were not trying to make us scared. They were trying to keep us alive.
That is what people now call respectability politics, but we did not need a college term for it back then. We just knew there were rules. Rules for how you talked around white folks. Rules for how you carried yourself at work. Rules for how much anger you could show before somebody decided you were dangerous. Rules for how clean you had to be before somebody still treated you dirty.
The former vice president has had to live under those rules in front of the whole nation. Too polished, and people call her fake. Too serious, and they say she is cold. Too sharp, and now she has an attitude. Too relaxed, and they say she is not ready. She laughs, and folks act like the woman committed a federal offense. I have never seen so many grown people bothered by a laugh. That told me long ago that some of the issue was not just policy.
Now, I am not going to play games. Some Black men did not connect with her. That is real. I have heard it in conversations. Some brothers never trusted her because of her prosecutor background. Some felt she was too tied to the same Democratic machine that keeps asking Black folks for loyalty while giving us speeches in return. Some felt she never spoke directly enough to the struggles of Black men. Some just did not feel her. Everybody is not going to connect with everybody.
And truthfully, Democrats need to stop acting shocked when Black men ask questions. We have the right to ask what somebody plans to do about jobs, fatherhood, crime, small business, housing, education, prison reentry, and the cost of living. We have the right to ask why our votes are treated like family property. We have the right to want more than a church visit, a few phrases, and a reminder that the other side is worse.
So no, this is not me saying she should be protected from criticism. She should not be. She is a politician. Politicians need pressure. They need questions. They need somebody standing there saying, “That sounds nice, but what does it mean for my neighborhood?”
But there is a line, and too many people have crossed it with her.
There is a difference between saying you do not like her record and acting like her very presence offends you. There is a difference between asking what she has done and spending all day mocking how she talks. There is a difference between questioning her judgment and acting like ambition from a Black woman is something nasty. We know the difference. Some folks pretend they do not, but grown people know.
I think about that as a Black man because I know how fast people can turn confidence into arrogance when it comes from us. I know how quickly they can see threat where there is none. A brother can stand straight, speak firmly, and look somebody in the eye, and suddenly he is intimidating. He can be quiet, and they say he is suspicious. He can be passionate, and they say he is angry. That game is old.
Black women deal with their own version of it. It is not the same, but it comes from the same place. A Black woman can be prepared and they call her rehearsed. She can be direct and they call her mean. She can be careful and they call her phony. She can be joyful and they call her unserious. She can be ambitious and they act like she is trying to take something that belongs to somebody else.
That is why this conversation gets bigger than one woman.
She has become a place where people dump a lot of their feelings about Black women in power. Some of those feelings are fair political frustration. Some of them are something else entirely. I have heard people criticize her in ways they would never use for a white man with a longer list of failures. I have seen people demand warmth from her while accepting arrogance from others. I have watched folks call her unqualified while praising people who could not carry her resume in a grocery bag.
That is not politics. That is the old sickness wearing a new suit.
Down South, you learn to listen for what people are not saying. Everybody does not have to use ugly language for you to know the spirit behind the comment. Sometimes “she is not likable” means something else. Sometimes “she is too ambitious” means something else. Sometimes “she does not seem authentic” means folks do not know what to do with a Black woman who is not begging to be approved.
And let me be clear. Not every person who dislikes Harris is racist. Not every person who questions her is sexist. That kind of lazy thinking does not help anybody. We have to leave room for honest disagreement. We have to leave room for Black folks who simply are not moved by her politics. I know I have my own questions.
But we also cannot act slow. America did not suddenly become fair when she showed up. The same country that doubted Barack Obama’s birth certificate was never going to look at a Black woman near the presidency and behave itself. Some of us knew that before the first attack landed.
Respectability politics always had a problem. It promised more than it could deliver. It told Black folks that if we were neat enough, polite enough, educated enough, calm enough, and careful enough, maybe America would finally treat us right. But many of us have lived long enough to know better. You can do everything right and still be treated like you got in the room by mistake.
Harris is proof of that. She checks plenty of the boxes America claims to value. She is educated. She has experience. She knows how to speak in official settings. She has served in major offices. She is not some reckless person who just wandered onto the stage. Yet people still talk about her like she has to prove basic competence every morning before breakfast.
That has to get exhausting.
I do not need her to be perfect. I do not need her to be my political savior. I do not need her to represent every Black woman, every Black family, or every hope our ancestors carried. That is too much weight for one person. What I do need is for us to have enough sense to separate critique from disrespect.
Ask her about policy. Ask her about criminal justice. Ask her about the economy. Ask her what she plans to do for Black communities if she wants power again. Ask her what she learned from past mistakes. Ask all of that. We should.
But do not sit beside people who only want to use your criticism as cover for their hatred. That is where Black folks have to be careful. Everybody who agrees with your complaint is not your ally. Some people will nod along with you for five minutes, then use your words to help tear down somebody they never respected in the first place.
That is the part we should understand by now.
This whole story has shown us how narrow the road still is. A Black person can rise high and still be told to shrink. A Black woman can make history and still be treated like she needs permission to stand there. A politician can deserve criticism and still be facing something deeper than politics.
As for me, I can hold both truths. I can question her and still recognize the weight she has carried. I can disagree with her and still refuse to mock her humanity. I can say she needs to answer for her record without joining folks who never wanted a Black woman that close to power anyway.
That is not blind loyalty. That is grown man thinking.
Respectability may help you survive some rooms, but it will not set you free. That is the lesson I keep coming back to. You can dress right, speak right, smile right, and play by every rule they hand you. Then when you get too close to real authority, they change the rules again.
She is not the first Black person to learn that. She will not be the last. But her story reminds us that we still have work to do, not just in politics, but in how we judge Black leadership, Black women, and each other.
Staff Writer; L.L. McKenna
Politics explained through the lens of justice and equity. Offering perspective that informs, challenges, and empowers.
One can contact this brother at; LLMcKenna@ThyBlackMan.com.
