(ThyBlackMan.com) Life presents complexities from birth for all individuals, irrespective of their race, gender, ethnicity, social status, or economic background. It is uncommon for individuals to fully acknowledge the exceptional development that male children experience as they navigate the various rigorous challenges associated with their transition from boys to men. Manhood is a topic upon which every individual holds an opinion. Boys evaluate men through their youthful lens, interpreting most situations from a child’s perspective. Typically, girls initially hold affection for the men in their lives; however, for some, their perceptions may shift when promises made to them are unfulfilled or when their expectations of what a man should embody are not met. Concurrently, the multifaceted influences of social media shape their emotions and thoughts. Most males who have successfully transitioned into adulthood and subsequently into manhood have either encountered or heard the daunting statement, ‘You call yourself a man,’ or the infamous question frequently posed by women to men: ‘What kind of man are you?’ In 1959, both Ray Charles and Mary Ann Fisher released the song “What Kind of Man Are You?” This inquiry is one that every Black man, particularly those fortunate enough to hold the esteemed title of fatherhood, should contemplate daily: What kind of man are you? And what kind of Father are you?
Even within the Holy Scriptures, after the moment in which Jesus quelled the turbulent winds and the sea by declaring, “Peace, be still,” his devoted disciples posed the question, “What manner of man is this, that even the wind and sea obey him?” (Mark 4:35-41). It is crucial for all individuals, especially fathers, to acknowledge that their criteria for manhood, as well as their definitions of a successful father, should not be dictated, established, or compared to any other individual or established standard. Instead, these criteria should be aligned with the teachings of God and His Son, Jesus, who serve as our exemplary models and standards to emulate.
In 2016, the critically acclaimed film “Fences” featured the world-renowned actor Denzel Washington, who emphasized to all fathers, prospective fathers, their children, and every attentive listener that while fathers are not obligated to have affection for their children, they do possess a responsibility, a duty, and an obligation to act in their children’s best interest, as they owe them more than just the life that they helped bring into existence with the assistance of God. Every father, irrespective of his present circumstances, past achievements, or current challenges, must recognize that each day he awakens, he owes a duty to God, himself, and his child or children. The failures we experience as men and fathers yield a compounding effect that incurs interest that we may never fully repay within our lifetimes. Every individual who is fortunate enough to assume the role of a father must endeavor daily to fulfill all his obligations.
As we commemorate another Father’s Day, we all must refer to our roadmap for success, which is the Word of God. In the book of Genesis, Chapter 27, we uncover several insightful and sacred principles that illuminate what every father is obligated to provide for his children. Gone are the days, times, and beliefs that held the Black community hostage, where Black Fathers held to the notion that all I must do is get them to the age of 18, and my job is done. In the passage, in verse 1, we observe Isaac in the later years of his life continuing to remain present and accessible to his children, both of whom had reached an age sufficient for marriage and for the procurement of food independently. Frequently, we falter in our roles as fathers due to our lack of presence and availability. To achieve success as a father, as prescribed by the word of God, it is imperative that one embodies both qualities. An excessive number of individuals find themselves physically present yet emotionally unavailable, as their thoughts, anxieties, and concerns overwhelm them. In the text, Isaac is depicted as elderly and afflicted by diminished vision, yet he remains both present and accessible to his two adult sons. We must also recognize that mere presence is insufficient. It is the desire of God for us to engage in the lives of our child or children actively.
If any man aspires to embody the qualities of a father that aligns with divine approval, it is imperative that they are not only present and accessible but also recognize that, even when their children reach adulthood, they should continue to offer guidance, instruction, and teaching, as exemplified by Isaac in verses 2-4. The bible says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of your mother” (Proverbs 1:8). For a son or any child to receive guidance from a father, it is imperative that the father possesses insights that are impactful, transformative, and in harmony with the teachings of the word of God. The focus of our guidance to our children should no longer center on the pursuit of monetary gain, seeking revenge, or strategies for attracting the romantic partner of our dreams. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we provide our children with guidance daily, even in moments of silence, through our actions and behaviors.
Each day that we are privileged to awaken constitutes a blessing and a miracle bestowed upon us by God. Just as God, who is our heavenly Father, bestows and grants us blessings as a father, we should aim to bestow blessings upon our children throughout their lives, like Issac did in verses 4 and 29. When God bestows upon a man the role of fatherhood, it is imperative that he becomes resolute and maintains such focus, for the implications extend beyond his concerns. Regrettably, many children endure hardships because their fathers remain consumed by self-centered beliefs. The aspiration and prayer of every father ought to be to ensure that his children experience a life that surpasses his own.
In other words, every father should have something to give to his children besides debt and a rolling stone mentality and legacy. Should one examine the text that Isaac provided to his children without any prior prompting or request, it becomes apparent that Isaac exemplifies for fathers the imperative of surpassing the immature mentality that has impeded our community. This mentality is delineated by the predominant belief among numerous Black men that assistance in nurturing the success of their sons or children in adulthood is only merited when explicitly solicited or pleaded for. As Isaac prepared to bestow blessings upon his sons, he indeed recalled the various challenges he had encountered throughout his own adult life. Consequently, I urge every father to reflect on this and to transcend the belief that their children must struggle unnecessarily as adults to be successful.
While most individuals strive to navigate life debt-free, every father must realize that when he is blessed with fatherhood, he now owes a debt for the remainder of his life, even after his children have grown into grown adults. Every father owes his children his presence, his availability, and he owes them guidance and blessings throughout their lives. The pertinent question arises: as a father, what obligations do you hold towards your children, and are you fulfilling those obligations? My father consistently emphasized the principle that if one owes a debt to another, it is imperative to repay it. The most authentic method of repaying the obligations owed to one’s children is by adhering to the guidelines provided by God regarding the conduct expected of every father.
Staff Writer; Jamie Seals
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Also drop an email at; JSeals@ThyBlackMan.com.
