Saturday, December 9, 2023

Black Men: Maybe She’s Not the One.

September 21, 2023 by  
Filed under BM, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( No one understands the mind and heart of a woman…like a woman. Relationships can be difficult to navigate. A woman with a reliable male friend, or brother, has an asset in that she is able to run relationship situations by a man. He will tell her when the problem is clearly her, but he can also help navigate her through signs that say RUN. Men need to have the same advocate when it comes to understanding women. Everyone comes to the table with baggage, and a past. How one deals with such things is very important.

Black Men: Maybe She’s Not the One.

There are a few signs that should tell a man she isn’t the one for you. It doesn’t matter how kind, beautiful, accomplished, or reliable she is…certain behaviors spell disaster. If you can avoid the landmines it will save you the scars later down the line. No one is perfect, but some behaviors means she has more work to do on self before entering a relationship.

1. If you find yourself getting to know a woman on a biological clock that could spell disaster. If she is wanting to get to know you at a rapid speed while dropping constant hints about the need to get married, as she isn’t getting any younger, press pause. Fights will start because she will attempt to accelerate the relationship. If you try to slow it down you might find yourself facing the guilt trip by which she beats herself up for not being enough, or you are accused of cheating.

2. Both parties should be supportive of the others dreams. If you find that all your dreams are stupid, down played, or not good enough…leave. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your dreams, and goals she isn’t the one. Building a life together is about being able to support one another…that should not be one sided.

3. Disagreements happen, but if you find yourself with a lady whereby everyday something is wrong you may find yourself emotionally drained. If nothing you do makes her happy there may be something deeper that is the issue. If she won’t allow you to be there for her, and every move you make causes a fight she may be going through a very turbulent time, but you might not be the person to see her through it…. especially if you are just getting to know her. For her sake, be honest about what you can handle.

4. No one deserves to be a punching bag. If you are with a woman that is violent…RUN. Let’s be honest you are not in a position whereby you can physically defend yourself without consequences. If she is incapable of handling disagreements cut that off while you can. Everyone has a breaking point, there are women that believe they can fight like a man, and will do so, but they will call the police if you defend yourself even to get away. Save yourself the drama.

5. If she’s too good for your family, no matter how excepting they are of her…she’s not the one. Save yourself the craziness of trying to reconcile a woman that cares not for your origins. If family is very important to you, but not her, this will be a point of contention in a relationship.

As previously stated no one is perfect. Compromise, and working through disagreements is very important for a relationship. However, there are certain signs, and behaviors that are not worth the fight. They cause drama, and strip your energy of peace. Just as sisters must know when its time to walk away, brothers must realize the same.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.


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