(ThyBlackMan.com) Often times when we think of relationships, or speak about them, it’s usually from a romantic standpoint. Relationships can be found at all levels of our life, and the word literally covers every status we have with a person. Parental, sibling, various titles of family members blood or not, significant others, friends, associates, acquaintances, different titles at work, titles within community spaces such as church or school, and many others all fall under the umbrella of relationships. However, we don’t place the same values, principles, and boundaries on each kind of relationship. This is, to some degree, understandable, but maybe we run into so many problems with different kinds of relationships due to the lack of consistency in which we handle relationships.
Ones spirituality, in this case, walk with God is an important part of daily life. It should also be a constant that runs through every interaction, and relationship. One could argue spirituality is one of the foundations that should govern everything we do. This would mean that, as a Christian, Godly principle should be apparent in every relationship we encounter. Taking that position might make navigating relationships easier from the standpoint of having a principled resolve already set in place. This doesn’t mean that one doesn’t compromise in some spaces and grow, but it creates a personal foundation for interaction that runs through every relationship. As you’ve probably guessed, that means dealing with self first is certainly a must. Understanding your relationship to Godly principles will help direct your interactions, and decisions regarding relationships. If you haven’t noticed…this speaks to a God first mentality.
Every relationship will present challenges. Sometimes these challenges are compounded by life, work, trauma, and direct conflict with said individual(s). Godly principles can help us navigate the, far too often, turbulent waters of dealing with people. Faith, mercy, grace, patience, temperance, word usage, and knowing when to walk away are all concepts that can be defined and fueled by our believe system. There comes a point where we must evaluate self individually, and then look at how we interact with, and affect, the relationship space. This becomes something we must pray about and meditate on with diligence as growth is continual. For instance, if you find a relationship to be verbally combative, after prayer, it is time to look at why this combative behavior persists. It is important to be honest about the core issues and any part you personally played in them. Accountability is very much so a godly principle and it is mandatory if any relationship is to flourish.
Understanding that you are not perfect, so you will need to practice the same principles you expect is very important. So, in a relationship whereby verbal communication is combative, or aggressive, after you access the matter, you would then look at scriptures that can help rectify that situation. This would allow you to better govern yourself verbally and set the boundaries for others in regard to how they communicate with you. This is not something you would set in place merely for your partner. This is a principle you’d be setting in place, based on your belief system, that all must adhere too.
Establishing a foundation, rooted in your belief, that governs how you yourself will interact with others, and what you expect creates consistency. It becomes know your relationship with God is primary in your life, and you govern self based upon it. This allows others to know where your boundaries are, and how you move. Granted, you can not control the behavior of others. There will be those that either believe differently or feel that they don’t have to be bound to “your interpretation” of Christianity. That is quite okay, and it allows you to decide how you are going to deal with that relationship. You have to decide if you have walk where there is principled disagreement. It can be said there is a biblical answer for that: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed? – Amos 3:3”. This is not to say that for you to have a relationship with others they have to see everything in life as you do.
There are those that have different perspectives and ways of doing things that are different, and they add to us. We all can learn from each other. Yet, when we begin to talk about principle, morals, values, and the core character Christians should strongly consider guiding their stance and interactions based on what aligns with their beliefs. This might not feel like the answer to every relationship matter, but it will give us a solid working foundation, and provide validity in the manner by which we desire to be treated. It may also remove toxic relationships from us, as boundaries are enforced. Love is something that can be given from a distance if needed to preserve happiness and peace. What godly principles can you use to help better your relationship interactions? It’s something to think about.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; C. Starr and also Twitter; MrzZeta.
Also via email at; CStarr@ThyBlackMan.com.