(ThyBlackMan.com) How often do you come across great advice that you process immediately as being for you? Ironically many of us see advice, or wisdom, and though it should be screaming at us…our minds immediately turn to the person we feel should have the information. In many ways this isn’t in a negative way; we want those we love to be their best person and are always looking to help. However, in these moments we tend to dimmish the help we need. This principle plays out in so many areas of our life. Eventually if the advice is never for you neither is the correction. This is one of the issues we face when dealing with religion and church folks. There is always a Word, prayer that needs to be given, and a conversation to be had on behavior but it tends to be one way street. Its as if these folks went from those that seek advice from others to those that command the church directives for others.
Sometimes the words “Imma pray for you”, are veiled in condemnation and cloaked is judgement. This is why, I part, so many feel they can’t truly have a spiritual encounter in church. How can you “come as you” when who you are will not only be judged but held to unreachable standards. In this space hypocrisy run rampant causing various degrees of church hurt and anger. These same people condemning you have blaring flaws that are apparent. For as much as they pray and hear from God…it appears they don’t hear God ministering to them about their own life.
When the church police identify your flaw, they will ask you if you ae seeking God about deliverance from your whatever. The thing is, you might not disagree with what they are addressing…you might have an issue with the fact they believe they have the moral authority, or high ground, to address you at all. The matter is compounded if you find yourself being openly addressed/rebuked, or if this talking to becomes a regular occurrence. Nothing is worse than being badgered while trying to address the issues going on within self. Making life changes isn’t easy. Everyone has a story to tell…a testimony if you will. They aren’t the same. No one should play the whose trauma is worse game; with that being acknowledge, some situations are more difficult to work on because if feels as though every aspect of life is affected by such. Its difficult when you are being nagged about profanity and having your salvation called into question, while you’re standing there delivered from drug addiction. This makes you wonder if these types hear from God at all.
Should you find yourself surrounded by condemnation just know it’s okay to stand up for yourself. Sometimes we have to become a mirror for others when they can’t seem to see themselves. It’s okay to ask those that insist on getting you right: “Did you go to God for yourself”. This may very well stop them in their track, and just know if the person is older, they might very well become offended. However, while you are being condemned, they may need deliverance from gossip, condemnation, judging others, anger, and a lack of compassion. It is okay to speak to the situations that make you uncomfortable and hurt. Everyone in church or in these settings don’t behave this way, but we tend to pass judgement on the whole because we don’t deal with the offensive party.
If you find that you are the person causing this degree of division. Please remember who you were before you became “saved” and know that you still need to grow. No one is perfect and it’s time you stop projecting condemnation on others, as this is Godly now love. You are hurting people in the name of helping them, and that is never okay. Take the time to hear wisdom and apply it to your life. Try following the instruction you give. Nothing blows your witness like hypocrisy.
There is too much going on in the world for people to have to feel alienated from the one place that should build them up, help them grow, offer correction in love, and pour on even more love. If you won’t seek God for yourself…leave others alone.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; C. Starr and also Twitter; MrzZeta.
Also via email at; CStarr@ThyBlackMan.com.
