Thursday, September 28, 2023

The Trait You Seek is Obedience.

October 29, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Many of us have heard that relationship is about compromise, give & take, and selflessness. When seeking to be with someone loyalty, trust, and communication are among the top listed needs that will allow a relationship to grow and stand when rough times present themselves. Everyone wants to feel like they are being heard by their significant others, and that the feelings expressed matter to them. There needs to be a balance between taking the advice of the one we’re with and feeling like one must do everything they are told. Relationships can become difficult quickly when one party, or both, feel that the only way to keep peace is to comply to every wish and demand given. No one wants to be accused of not being able to grow or be told anything.

However, what does one do when they are being told to do everything. This can lead to the idea of nothing is ever good enough, or no matter what I do you will have something to say.  Many of us have either been told the latter, or we’ve said it to someone else. There is a fine line between corrective criticism and demand.

This might be very difficult to admit, but one of the traits many subconsciously seek is obedience. We want our partner to what we want, when we want it, the exact way that we specify. We know what’s best in any given situation, and in our mind the solution we have formulated will work if all parties simply comply. Unfortunately, the person on the receiving end could do what’s asked and there still be a problem to discuss. This is selfish, and it defies the idea of partnership or… we’re in this together. This kind of behavior sends the partner a message they are not trusted, their input doesn’t matter, and they have been relegated to a child like status. No one, man or woman, wants to feel that they are simply a child in the relationship. When we hear married people talk there are husbands that speak of their wives as being simple minded, and wives that literally call their husbands one of the children. Regardless of why theses statements, and those like them, are made its demeaning. If your partner has behavior they need to correct address that, but don’t treat them like their only job in the relationship is to obey you.

The communication in a relationship will govern whether, or not, the relationship will be able to stand up to life’s test. Take the time to discuss matters as they arise knowing you are with a capable adult and if not, you need to question why you are in the current situation. The need for obedience is overbearing, selfish, demeaning, and in some spaces cruel. The treatment you give is definitely not one you’d want to receive. Two people can’t grow in love if they don’t see each other as equals. Be mindful when you address your partner that you are not manipulating them towards a space that implies obedience. Do what I say do is not the mentality you want to have going into a relationship.

To avoid doing this, all of us are capable of this mindset, take the time to continue working on self.  As you grow and mature you bring that growth to the relationship. All of us are only as good to another as we allow self to evolve and grow. Being mindful of yourself can help you treat your partner with the respect the title they hold warrants.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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