(ThyBlackMan.com) We live in a dangerous world, and the danger is triggered by many different realities. It is often downplayed by others, but many black people fear for their life, and that of their children, in America. It is not something we can openly speak about because we are told that how we feel is unwarranted. It doesn’t seem to matter that there is a rise in hate-based crime, the constant reminders of police brutality, or the simple fact that every time we log on or tune in something else race related has happened. Regardless of facts and statistics black people are expected to remain calm and fearless in the face of any dangerous opposition. We are not allowed to fear for our lives, nor respond to that fear.
One can only wonder if that is an inhumane expectation. While we walk masking our fear white people can not only express their fears, they are allowed to act upon them irrationally. This action can lead to the death of whoever they fear. This is a double standard hypocrisy that white people in America, as a whole, can’t seem to understand.
If we take a moment to be completely honest there are many black people walking around with extreme cases of anxiety they must hide because they understand that their life is not valued in a humane sense. There is always a plea and explanation that has to be given in the face of solid facts; unfortunately, at times that has to also be given to other people of color. The fear black people face is not a figment or our imagination…it has been with us since the first slave ship docked in this place. If we aren’t careful some of us will internalize the anxiety and manipulate ourselves into believing we are being strong because we can stand in the face of opposition without flinching.
Furthermore, the strength mask can be seen as the source of the “strong black man/woman” image that has become a stereotype that is capable of causing us harm. Often times we tend to blame one another solely for the origins of the masks we were hence causing internal strife in our community.
The expectation became very clear to me as I took the time to write about my experience with anxiety while in a Walmart that was caused by being behind a white man in the line with a gun. It was assumed I knew nothing about weapons, I was judgmental, something was wrong with me if I was anxious behind seeing a gun, and maybe if I owned a gun, I wouldn’t have felt the anxiety. Granted those assumptions implied the commenter did not read the article, and that I my initial issue was completely overlooked. The unfortunate reality is I was expected to be calm and fearless in that moment regardless of the situations that have taken place in my area in Walmart.
The bottom line is I’m a black person; I have no right to question the motives of a white person let alone a white male. His right to carry his gun where ever he chooses supersedes my right to fear for my life. The hypocrisy is astounding as white women can fear for their life simply because a black person exists and is breathing…they don’t need a weapon. White officers that are trained with guns can fear for their life, throw the training out the window, and shoot me dead in that fear. However, there is no empathy nor understanding for my fear.
Black people are expected to remain calm with guns in our face, targets on our backs, and even through assault. This is what some white people will never understand. The expectation of calm and fearless is a constant reminder that I am not allowed to have a very human response to my environment. Eventually the mask will crack will shatter.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.