(ThyBlackMan.com) Today, if not every day, many of you have heard women ask where all the good men are. But maybe good men should be also asking where the good women are. Even the worst women ask this question because every woman, good or bad, wants a good man. There are good and bad, mature and immature, sorry and strong men and women throughout the African American community. And no ethnic group nor the males nor females in that group are perfect.
I am 2 seconds from telling you to just go get an Asian, Hispanic or European woman but I won’t because we need to replenish African American households as much as possible.
There are both men and women with issues, but no we all don’t have “issues“. I mean mental “issues” that go so deep to the point where they destroy our most needed relationships. Issues like anger, bitterness, immaturity, deceit, drama, superficiality, materialism, unforgiveness and/or the unwillingness to move on from past relationships. While these “issues” are not confined to women alone, I am here to warn MEN about a great many women you must avoid to save yourself and your wallet a lot of heartache, headache, safety and disappointment.
Some of the nastiest, most dangerous, trifling, mentally unstable, treacherous and/or broke women know how to dress nice, smell even better and look even better. And here we go (not me anymore) falling for their game time after time after time and then some. Everything that looks good is not automatically good for you. Instead of judging a book by its cover, I suggest you read the contents page, the index and the references. Brothers don’t let your hormones turn off your brain. And never leave your heart unguarded when she is not your wife. And even if you live together, that is not real commitment so watch out.
We men have been warned about these type women by our parents, friends and even in music with songs like Poison or Dangerous. But because they are often so “hot“, so “cute” and so alluring, we ignore the warnings – at least until we get burned. And every day the jails, courts, child support offices and/or anger management classes are filled with African American men who wish they had listen and avoided these dangerous and unstable women like the plague. While I am very happily married today (and no not to a white woman), I was once one of those men who fell through the trap door I didn’t even know I was standing on. And if you heed the warnings of this article, you don’t have to be. So you need to hear me, really hear me.
Type BP – Bipolar
There are many bipolar women in the African American community. Mood swings, attitudes, anger and otherwise out of control behavior can arise any time from these women. They likely have major hormone imbalances. And if you ask me, such imbalances could come from birth control pills, chemicals they use in their hair, feminine hygiene products, biochemical deficiencies, heredity, past traumatic experiences or just mental instability. Where ever it is coming from, you need to learn to spot the signs and when you see them, run, leave, move away, change your number or get a restraining order. Whatever you do, flee!
Type V-Vindictive
These type women are just mean and trifling, that’s all there is to it. They punish the next man for what the last man did or what a man did to their mom, best friend or sister. It has been said “Hell hath no fury…..” and you see Omarosa waited at least a year to spring the trap on Trump. Neither he nor his entire administration saw it coming and if you are distracted enough to fail to spot a vindictive woman, you won’t see what’s coming either. Not until she strikes like a cobra. She can sit there and smile, hide her agenda and her animosity with covert means you cannot begin to imagine. And if she has flashbacks from past abuse or bad relationships before you, watch out. The venom is twice as lethal. I have seen it, I have counseled men who have been the victims and I have counseled women who had the venom.
Type G-Gold Digger
We see these type women all over anybody with serious money like recording artists, sports figures and even pastors. But those women are obvious and easy to spot so I won’t say much about them. However the subtle gold digger who is after the middle class working African American male is much harder to spot because many of you don’t know what to look for and others of you are so easily distracted by her touch, her body or her whisper in your ear. Wake up! Hey, wake up!
Type B-Broke
As a marriage, family and relationship counselor, mediator and life coach I have noticed woman after woman after woman who wants a man to have certain things in place to prove he is ready to have her. And though it is true you should be prepared for a relationship on many levels, never forget that SHE does not determine what you should be, what you should have and by when. The woman interested in you does not determine your manhood nor your goals.
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Ironically many of these women are heavily in debt and you are their solution. They want you to have the car they don’t, the house they don’t, the income they don’t the looks and the body they don’t. If that is the standard (and it should not be superficial), why is she qualified to be with you? My point guys, have some serious standards and expectations of your own.
Type X- The X Gamer
The X gamer is a female who just cannot leave her ex-anything alone. She may have children with him but she will still find extra excuses to stay connected to him in ways that are unnecessary. She does not realize that you cannot start something new until you stop something old and put it in the past. The danger is in you having to deal with him. And the second danger is that she could likely go back to him, though she would tell you that is not possible. Therefore my brother I would suggest you look at her actions because they shout louder than words.
This type of woman is looking for certain things in various men because she cannot find them all in one man. This is likely why she wants you and him. She does not understand that nobody will be all of what you want. She also does not understand that compromise is not the same thing as settling.
Do you have any idea the number of times as a counselor that I have heard a woman say she is torn between two guys? No, you don’t. But more times than you would believe. And if you are making an educated guess, multiply it times 20 at least.
Type H-Hoochie
It might be appealing to you when an attractive woman is promiscuous and easy to sleep with, but she is not just being easy with you. I guarantee you that. Maybe you think it is because you are so smooth but maybe she is just promiscuous. Yes there are many more women than men in this country and yes women do get lonely, even when they try to pretend they are not. But women quick to jump into intimacy tend not to form real attachments.
Type H women are often used or taken advantage of by many men because they are easy. When this happens these women form stereotypical opinions about men and thus they do not expect much. Consequently these type women don’t give much emotionally because they are protecting their hearts. Or they go to the opposite end and they are ready to move in or get married quick with no real sense of the commitment and sacrifices needed for a long term relationship. And if you like increasing your chances of getting an STD, she is your girl.
Type B-Bitter
This type of female has been burned and she carries that bitterness with her from man to man, encounter to encounter, relationship to relationship. Such a bitterness often guides her actions and her attitude. It wrecks her relationships. She gets angry quickly and she is often known to come across as hard, demanding and vocal on what she will and won’t take. She is seldom able to compromise and she feels manipulated when she cannot have things her way.
Type S-Scape-Goater
The type S woman always wants to blame somebody else for her problems. She hardly ever takes responsibility for what happens or has happened. Let her tell it, her ex-husband or baby’s father is the reason for where she is and what she has gone through. Or her previous boyfriend is the culprit. She never looks in the mirror with an honest stare and willingness to change. Thus her problems with relationships continue, no matter how hard she tries to make them work. She is trying and working against a herself and the new relationship at the same time.
Type T-Trust Issues
Like the type B woman, a type T woman has been betrayed by a past boyfriend, husband or even her father. She finds it hard to trust any man she gets involved with. This will place a ceiling on any of her relationships because either she will always suspect something or she will pull back when the relationship get’s too close. Unlike the bitter woman, the woman with trust issues is more scared than angry. But like the bitter woman, she subconsciously sabotages her relationships quite often.
Type Q-The Quitter
When you date a woman find out who broke up with whom in her last few relationships. If she is always the one initiating the break up one of three things is likely happening. Either the woman lacks commitment, she is moving from man to man after she gets what she wants out of the relationship (she is a user) or she does not know what she wants and needs so she keeps picking the wrong type guys. In any case this type of woman will not ride or die so you can forget that. She will not be with you through thick and thin. And when the kitchen of life heats up, you will find yourself standing there alone.
This list is by no means a complete one and I am sure you could add other categories I left out. But you need to remember the worst bomb never looks like a bomb until it is ready to explode. A spider knows what it takes to lure its prey into the web. And those of you who are desperate, thinking below the waist, lacking self esteem, self worth or self identity make easy targets for the very type women you need to avoid. The entire time these women will let you think you are running game, seducing them or causing them to desire you. Your mother can likely spot these women or your sister or a real female best friend. But when these demons strike, you will never see it coming. So remember this article and what I have told you.
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw
