Remembering The Meaning of Family.

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry

( Today so many of our people in the African American community have forgotten the meaning of family. The meaning that our grandmothers, grandfathers and their parents understood. Almost all of us can sit back and tell “I remember when” stories. But what are we doing to make bring the “when” of yesterday into our families of today? Are you “too busy”? Do you see family as unimportant or the concept outdated? Or do you take for granted that loved ones will always be there?


From slavery to racism and oppression to us doing each other worse than the “white” man, government or police ever have, our families have been devastated.  for those who did this, shame on them. But for those who allow it continue, shame on you. It has been estimated that today as many as 80% of African American households are single parent households and all of that cannot be blamed on slavery.

Promiscuity in our women is also a culprit because our women do not know their worth. Thus they fall for smooth talking would-be Romeos who are often after one thing. As for “black” males, immaturity and the “player” mindset to cover up a lack of identity are rampant so little boys masquerading as men and shirking responsibility pervade our communities. You are your brother’s keeper so act like it.

Family is about sharing, not about “getting yours“. Family is about quality time, not “I’m too busy“. Family is about being good examples and role models for our children and taking care of our elderly who took care of us. Family is about growth together, tackling problems together and victory over those problems – together.

Family is about everybody doing their part and everybody being willing to take up the slack when someone falls behind. Family is about clearly defined roles, not boys who think they are girls, girls who think they are boys and parents who are just as confused. Family is about selflessness and sacrifice, even when you are tired, even when you don’t feel well. Although sometimes it gets too hard and leads to divorce. If you are going through a divorce it can be hard on the family. A Fresh Start Mediation Provider can help make the transition as smooth as possible. It’s important to lessen the impact that divorce will have on the kids and having a mediator will do that.

How long has it been since everybody in your family turned off the TV, the cell phones and the tablets or computers to share a meal and a quality time conversation together?

Family is about forgiveness and placing your family members in front of friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, activities, clubs, fraternities, sororities, co-workers and church members. Family is about pooling your finances and resources together to reach common goals. If you have a dollar then your family has a dollar. If you rise, your household rises. And if you fall, the family suffers so no family member should let another family member fall if you can help them instead.

Family is about acceptance of the person but not any and every behavior and but not acceptance of foolishness, lack or morality, evil or confusion. Family is about taking a stand together and not letting anyone or anything divide you. Family is about believing in your family members, encouraging them, building them up and helping them win. Family is about laying great expectations, wanting more for your children and helping them get there.

You can’t know people you never spend time with and if you can’t know your family, you can’t come to know yourself, your history, your legacy nor your potential.

Strong families build identity and stability for all of their members. Strong families make strong communities. Strong families make strong congregations. Strong families make strong small businesses. Every other ethnic group knows these are the facts. It’s time African Americans both know and remember while there is still time. If we refuse to know, remember or participate, we can expect more divorce, more domestic violence, more children born out of wedlock, more single parent homes, more disparity and incarceration from those who don’t know who they are, more unnecessary financial struggles and more confusion where none of us win. Be part of your family’s solution.

While we are not our grandparents, enough of them should pour out of us to bring our families together, strengthen and unify them. If this cannot happen, we have forgotten who we are or we never knew. And that would be an opening for the wrong habits, values and cycles to infect, infiltrate and corrupt the potential of what each of us could become. The purpose for which we are here. So you see the family is the core launching pad for everything else. And a strong, unified, spiritual and focused family cannot be stopped. How is your family? Be part of the solution and let them learn from you.

Staff Writer; Trevo Craw