(ThyBlackMan.com) When it comes to your relationships with others or someone special, how many times do you ask – “should I go away or should I stay?” It’s easy to stay no matter how many times you’ve been taken for granted, hurt, or had your needs disrespected. Sometimes we carry a relationship just to keep everyone happy and feel comfortable even if our mind and heart say otherwise.
We always feel time and conversations can fix things, but deep inside we know if we go away and break the relationship, it will set us free. We will be more comfortable and the world will again become a better place. Even if it doesn’t, we will at least get some sort of mental peace and an opportunity to redesign our life on our own terms.
Breaking a relationship brings mixed thoughts with a touch of guilt, sadness, fear, and discomfort. At the same time, our inner voice encourages us to go away, celebrate the freedom, and move on. We can’t sail on two boats and as a result, we go with the most powerful thoughts and sadly, many of us decide to stay and prolong. We put aside our happiness for them and start finding new reasons to be happy with the same person.
If your inner voice is telling you to end a relationship, listen to it. The situation can’t get any better if you see the same things happening over and over again. Maybe it sounds unrealistic to end a relationship ungrudgingly, but believe that it’s possible. It’s possible because it is not a self-centered decision. If you are willing to end a relationship happily, you’re mature enough and thinking not only about yourself but for the other person as well.
Try everything so there will be no place for regrets
Try everything you can to save the relationship because after a few months or years when you’ll look back, there should be no place for thoughts like “I wish I could discuss” or “I wish I had given him/her one more chance.” Be as loving as you can, be as honest as you can, keep your ego aside and talk about the situations.
Never make any compromise with your self-respect, but be open to listen and take time to think and understand from their point of view. Don’t bring past or memories in your conversations, what has happened has happened and none of you can change it, no matter how good or bad you feel about the past. Live in present, discuss solutions, try to have a solution-oriented discussion, keep those blame games out of your conversation.
And when you reach a point where you see no ray of hope, just be polite and give them a clear reason why it won’t work. Maybe if the person is immature or is not ready to accept your decision, you’ll be accused of not trying anymore and giving up. Truth hurts but a sad truth is always better than sugar-coated lies. Stand firm and don’t leave things hanging in between.
Be clear about your next move
Telling the real reason behind ending a relationship is the best ways to avoid unexpected drama and hurt feelings. Whatever the reason is, make it look clear and make it loud so that there will be no place for misunderstandings. Communication gap can have a massive impact on your relationship. If you want to end a relationship, communication gap can be helpful for both of you. If you want to end a relationship with no regrets, cutting all the chords is the most painful, but the most effective way.
Make it clear that the paths you two are choosing are different and the two roads may not even intersect each other. It means once you go away, there should be no option for coming back unless you want to keep your relationship on life support system. If you want to end it completely, you should have guts to pull the plug. In this way, none of you will feel the urge to chase each other and even if you do, it will be clear that you are never going to repeat doing the same things up again.
Accept the outcome
At the end of the day, it is not going to be easy for any of you. But when things are beyond control, this is what a wise person would do to end a relationship with no regrets. Instead of living in denial, accept the fact that there will be times when you might feel tempted to go back or the person will try to bring you into the same relationship. There will be times when you may doubt your own decisions or the other person will create situations to make you feel guilty.
We humans are unpredictable, especially when it comes to handling unexpected situations in relationships. If you are trying to end a relationship, make sure that you are preparing yourself for its outcomes. If you feel that the person you are breaking a relationship with might act in a weird or harmful way, try to solve the existing and potential problems as soon as you can before telling them about your final decision. You may have shared things which you want back or simply don’t want anything to be misused. Do it smartly so that you can always have peace of mind.
Appreciate them, thank them and wish them luck in their life’s new journey
No matter what is the situation today, there’s always something special about every relationship we build. Be grateful for what you’ve received from them. Be thankful for their support, love, memories, inspiration and everything you have received. Admiring someone’s good qualities, and showing respect is the way to convey the message that you truly value everything they have done for you. No matter if it is negligible, a ‘thanks’ with a smile is a powerful gesture. It not only earns you respect, it keeps your head high with satisfaction and pride.
Forgive yourself
Let’s say your partner is willing to end a relationship. Or you just want to come out of a relationship but your partner is not ready for this change. You have tried everything and gave enough chances and time for the same but there’s no result. It happens many times in life when we have no control over the situations no matter how hard we try.
When you end a relationship and want to come out clean with no regrets, forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made in the past. Forgive the person for their mistakes. Forgive but never forget the lessons, the experience, and the reasons.
Examine what you did, but don’t beat yourself up. You were doing your best and it couldn’t be any better. Do not look for your mistakes over and over again. Don’t let the crying and self-hatred take over your mind. You are worthy, no matter if you are with a partner or without a partner.
Many things in life are uncertain and your decision to end a relationship and its outcomes are also a part of it. Look at it from a broad perspective. This is not the end, in fact, this is the beginning of a new journey. The sun will shine again. With every new morning, you will be given a new chance to recreate your life. Time doesn’t stop for anyone, and you’re no exception.
Staff Writer; Corey Shaw
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