(ThyBlackMan.com) I now understand.
When you enter into some form of commitment or near commitment with a significant other, the risk of heartbreak becomes 50/50 from the start. Either that person could be the best thing that happens to you, or the worst. This is why the human race as a whole tends to avoid entering relationships because they don’t want to occupy the bad 50 percent. For fear of being disappointed. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being heartbroken. It looms over dating scenarios like a dark cloud and no one wants to be rained on. I’ve learned only the brave take on the warfare of love.
But what do we say to those who took on that challenge, and succumbed to the silence of heartbreak? Do we say to mope, sulk and burden themselves all day? Should we tell them No.
Heartbreak is hard. It’s a terrible feeling. You don’t want to work. You don’t want to workout. Eating becomes a chore and your friends perhaps grow tiresome of your guilt trips. But the worst thing heartbreak does is that if you let it, it eats at your core; you begin to wonder if your identity is flawed. You look at yourself as a burden of a human being, that you’re not good enough or in some cases, too good enough and get punished for it.
But you can’t do that. Ever. You must find ways to better yourself and remain true to your identity. You shouldn’t see heartbreak as a threat to your identity, but a challenge to it. Can you challenge yourself to become the best you that you can be? Can that best “you” be ready when you meet someone else?
That’s what heartbreak should do. It should encourage you to work on your body, mind and spirit. Workout, read, eat better, write in a journal. Discover yourself and realize that who you are as a person is unique to this earth. Even if the man/woman of your dreams doesn’t see that in you at the moment. Because if not, you will drown in a pool of sorrow, blaming yourself for not living up to the standards the person who broke your heart set out for you.
For me personally, I’ve never become more in tune with myself until a woman I really liked broke my heart. Working out, eating well and writing in a journal kept me busy. I kept up with my schedule; work out in the mornings before work, eating clean, doing my hobbies, even though I didn’t want to. But what emerged was a man who was comfortable being uncomfortable; who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable like he once was and who is open to trying it again with someone else in the future. I didn’t let heartbreak defeat me. But I did let it help define me into the person I am currently. So yes, I understand why many run from commitment; the fear of heartbreak is real. But, I wonder if they truly know themselves while standing in their present comfort zones.
Music Editor; Brad Washington
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