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10 Things to Stop Wasting Your Time When Dating-What you can do to spare yourself the stress and frustration.

June 24, 2016 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Dating is hard enough today without a lot of pointless nonsense. Many of us don’t see the signs in front of us that we’re wasting our time with some people when it comes to dating. We spend a lot of valuable time chasing people that we know who are not worth the time and energy to deal with. We are having to learn things the hard way and often times the hurtful way as well. Recognizing when we are wasting our time helps to weed out the people that will not be conducive to our lives as potential dating and marital partners.

1. Be clear about your dating intentions-Some people when dating are not clear or between the fence when their intentions are in question. Those who tend to know what they want have a harder time finding someone because that person he/she know what they want out of a person when it comes to serious dating.

2. Assess potential dates– Time wasters have NO problem with filling your head with BS, but results in empty, meaningless promises. A real man/woman don’t have time to deal with a lot of garbage especially when some potential dates have to be screened out. Nobody is going to settle for less than what they deserve. Time wasters will avoid those who take the time out to date someone because to them you’re wasting their time when they’re likely looking for something of a sexual nature.

3. Level and frequency of contact– Does your potential date call, 2016-blackcouple-2016text, email when he/he says? Do you get any calls, texts, and emails in a timely manner? If someone you’re potentially considering dating seems to be wishy-washy with the phone calls, emails, and texts you might want to reconsider them because someone who is interested in getting to know you will be in contact with you often. This is a tell tale sign of someone possibly being a player because he/she seem to only contact someone when they want something from them. The best way to get rid of someone who’s like this is to make yourself unavailable.

4. Know your real worth-Never lower yourself to someone who’s not going to treat you right. No man or woman is worth being mistreated and abused. Some people get off mistreating others and any self-respecting person will not tolerate that kind of nonsense from anyone. You deserve someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone who is genuinely interested in you will treat you with dignity and respect.

5. Keep a reasonable date time limit-A lot of us are guilty for this and that is not knowing when to call it a night on a date. This is what leads to a lot of one night stands and if it’s the first date you want to make a good impression. Having sex on the first date does not make a person look too good and often times paints a negative picture of you to the other person.

6. Go out with other people-Not everyone male or female is a good match and there’s other people out in the world worth getting to know. Also do not let a time waster monopolize things because some people like the idea of stringing someone along without provocation to their actions. Not to mention time wasters don’t want you to have any interest in other people because that means you’re not playing their game. Don’t sit home waiting for the phone to ring and checking your text messages a 100 times keep yourself busy. Time wasters do not like when someone is getting on with their life and they’re not giving he/she another minute of their time because the attention is not on them.

7. Stop pursuing married and committed people-This one is like beating a dead horse because some people male and female are hardheaded. What can someone who goes home to a spouse or partner do for you? Try nothing because all you’re doing is setting yourself up to get hurt because most people are not leaving their spouse or partner for someone else. That person put years of their life into that marriage or relationship and why would you want to be a contributing factor in the demise of it? Attached and married people don’t have anything to offer you and if you think that dating an unavailable person is better than nothing you need a reality check.

8. Being called silly pet names and your potential date he/she won’t even learn your name-When people do BS like this it’s time to let them go because you already know they’re not serious about you. That’s another giveaway sign of a player. Players have so many people they’re dealing with they can’t keep up with their names and how they met them. Don’t waste your time with this kind of foolery because if someone is genuinely interested in dating you they would take the time to learn your name. If they can’t call you by your first name and not some lame pet name they got to go because a mature adult that is dating will learn the name of the person they are getting to know or seeing.

9. Don’t waste your time planning something if a date stood you up previously-Things happen when dates are canceled, but if it’s been done to you multiple times you may want to reconsider planning anything because some people like playing these types of games. Your time is valuable and it is best spent with someone who is actually going to show up for a date not leave you hanging. This is another easy way to spot a player by how they don’t seem to keep a date and constantly canceling on you and rescheduling dates.

10. Be wary of those who seem to only want to see you at certain times of the day-Don’t let someone he/she waste your time with this because anyone that is genuinely interested won’t pencil you in like a doctor’s appointment and will see you without time and day restrictions. People who only want to see you at certain times of the day could very well be married or involved and do this to cover their activities up. Classic player behavior with this one.

Dating is hard enough without someone or somebody playing silly games and not being serious about dating. You have too much to offer a good man or woman and not waste time on people who you need kick to the curb. You need to know your worth and don’t compromise that for anyone and it does not take much to spot a player with some of these dating time wasters. Put your energy into meeting someone who’s going to show genuine interest in you.

Staff Writer; Nafeesah Abdullah


One Response to “10 Things to Stop Wasting Your Time When Dating-What you can do to spare yourself the stress and frustration.”
  1. Vanessa Johnson says:

    Always great advise for who finding a partner and how to be a good partner.

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