(ThyBlackMan.com) Do you think that Paula Deen would be a good mentor for black boys? Steve Harvey thinks that she would be. Harvey brought Deen forth to the public after she was shamed for being exposed for using the n-word and disrespecting black people in a terrible way. Deen is going to make an appearance on Harvey’s talk show in October as part of her plan to redeem her tattered brand and start the money train rolling all over again.
According to published reports, Deen is going to bring her excellent cooking skills to the boys at the Steve Harvey Mentoring Camp. This is where Harvey gathers 100 boys without fathers for a weekend and teaches them the fundamentals of manhood. The camp is one of the most progressive efforts by any black celebrity to help with the very serious fatherless problem we have in America. Men without male role models have a hard time growing up to become adequate fathers, husbands and leaders in their communities, so the camp is a wonderful thing.
“Paula and her team has agreed to take as many boys as I want to fly down to Savannah and teach them culinary skills,” Harvey says on the show. “That, to me, is how you get something from something. There has to be a good behind everything,” Harvey said in a press release about the event.
When reacting to the negative response that Harvey might receive for his actions, he also mentioned “that I don’t give a damn.”
I must confess that if the ABC Network were to object to Steve Harvey’s actions, he probably would give a damn. His words are similar to those of Stephen A. Smith (another ABC employee), who received criticism for bashing the black community on-air a few months ago. One thing I wish is that African Americans working for white-owned media outlets would show as much respect for the black community as they give to the networks that employ them. Both Stephen and Steve are successful black men in their own right, but they can’t spend their careers only hearing the voices that have the loudest “cha-chings” attached to them. This is unfair, disingenuous and could be considered disrespectful.
This story admittedly pains me to the core, because I love Steve Harvey so much and probably don’t dislike Paula Deen as much as everyone else. The truth is that, behind closed doors, people say quite a few things that are racist or at least politically incorrect, and part of me wants to believe that Deen is sincerely seeking to prove herself both personally and in the public eye.
But here’s where Steve and I part ways. My beloved grandmother Felicia, just a few months before she died of cancer last year, called me on the phone when I was going to make an appearance on CNN with Rev. Jesse Jackson to discuss the Paula Deen situation. My grandmother was always my greatest counsel and my first Finance Professor. I speak about her regularly, and featured her in a recent article on “The 10 Commandments of Black Economic Empowerment.”
I talked to my grandmother about the Deen appearance on CNN. When I asked if there should be room for forgiveness, her answer was a very passionate and unforgiving “no!” She then spent 30 minutes talking about what it was like spending so many decades of her life being unfairly forced to cater to the “Miss Paulas” of the world: The arrogant, aloof, bigoted and disrespectful white women who thought they were your best friend, but did nothing but spit in your face. There was a social hierarchy that my grandmother had to endure for much of her life, one that was painful, degrading and exceedingly dehumanizing.
I was suprised to see my grandmother react to the matter in such an emotional and firm way, and I even spoke about the conversation during her funeral just a few months later. When I replay that conversation over and over in my mind, I remember the pain in her voice, which reminded me of how a trauma victim sounds when describing a horrible murder. The trembling anger of one of the strongest women I’ve ever known in my life really had an effect on me.
So, it is out of respect for my recently deceased grandmother that I have to say that I disagree with Steve’s decision to work with Paula Deen, and I wish he would reconsider. In fact, I truly believe that, deep down, Steve doesn’t want to do this either.
My guess is that much of this has to do with money, for the same reasons that many of us might invite our racist boss to our house for dinner. I suspect that some higher-ups at Steve’s network are pushing him to leverage his credibility with the black community to position Paula so that she can take opportunities within the network. I can’t even say that I blame Steve Harvey for this one, since we all have to choose our battles. Even I loved going to Paula Deen’s restaurant before the controversy erupted, it was honestly one of the best I’ve ever visited in my life.
But after hearing my grandmother talk about the pain of living through decades of humiliating racism at the hands of women like Paula Deen, I have to say that this is one time that all of us have to draw the line. Paula may deserve to be forgiven for what she did, but that doesn’t mean she deserves to keep making money as if nothing happened. There are scores of other talented African American chefs in the world who could be positioned as mentors for the boys at Steve Harvey’s camp, and had Paula Deen not been caught referring to black people as n*ggers, she wouldn’t be going to the camp either. Additionally, I’m just not quite sure what kind of mentorship fatherless black boys can or should receive from a white woman who has spent much of her life thinking of them as less than human.
I still have a tremendous amount of respect for Steve Harvey, but this decision pains me to the core. When I see Paula Deen, I see the struggles of my dead grandmother. And I would die before I let these people get away with what they did to the woman I loved so much.
But the truth is that all of our grand parents had to endure terroristic humiliation from women like Paula Deen, and some might consider it to be disrespectful to their memory for us to partner up with the very same bigots who spent decades treating our ancesters like they were worthless animals. If Steve were to insult white women in the same way that Paula degraded the black community, he’d be back to hosting a local radio show.
There are times when black men must disagree, and this is one of them. Paula Deen needs to stay at home where she belongs, so my grandmother can rest in peace. There are plenty of others that Steve Harvey can work with, and he doesn’t have to seek out reformed bigots in order to help black boys.
By the way – here’s a picture of my grandmother (Felicia) when she and I went to visit the president of Morehouse College last year (I think she thought he was cute, so I was hoping to make a love connection). Thanks for indulging my desire to write about her, I miss that woman every single day. She is all that I am made of. If you’re as lucky as I am, you have a grandmother you love this much too.
Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.