(ThyBlackMan.com) recently began working at a school, and upon doing so, I have come face to face with some of the ills that are plaguing our community. My encounters have been with young boys dealing with bitterness towards women because of the resentment they have for their mother that abandoned them, to children being dropped off as if school is a daycare, or free time for the parents, without even a care of who their child’s teacher is or the curriculum that their child is being taught by, but my most alarming encounters have come from young Sisters, being raised in a single parent homes, with the Mother being the primary parent.
One day, a young Sister came in with her two younger sisters and older brother, and they were late for school. I asked her why she was late. She says VERY angrily “
ASK MY MAMA!!!” I said what’s wrong? She said we are late because my mother had to get round two in. Now, I am just looking at her not blinking, but thinking, Lord please don’t let it be what I think it is. So I slowly
say…what do you mean? She says with her man! Then she looks at me like I’m slow. She is upset because she couldn’t do her homework, since her Mother didn’t come home until late, and she was angry because she was going to get lunch detention. I told her that she wouldn’t and that I would talk to her teacher personally. I wrote the passes and gave her a big hug. Now, I’ve already had a previous encounter with the young Sister just a week before. She was out of uniform, and I gave her one to wear, and she literally filled out a size sixteen (
both top and pants) and she is only nine years old. She was happy that her nine year old behind fit in those size sixteen pants, telling me “
my mama says I’m thick”, while smiling as if that is something every nine year old should be told and feel proud of.
I had a discussion regarding the situation via my face book page, and afterwards a Sister inboxed me attempting to tell me that it is the father’s fault that the little is acting out of order. The last two conversations that I had with this little girl, was about her MOTHER. I don’t know the relationship between she and her father, I know that he isn’t in the house, and I don’t if they have contact. However, this is what I DO know:
1. She didn’t tell me her father told her she was thick like it was a damn compliment for a nine year old, it was her MOTHER. Her father didn’t tell her men like “thick” women as if this is something you tell a damn nine year old, like at nine years old, she should be told what’s pleasing to men. She was VERY pleased with how her nine year behind filled out a pair of size sixteen pants. This is a child, looking like a grown woman, and when some sick predator looks at that grown body, what do you think they see? Her mentality isn’t ready for that type of attention, but because the mantra “thicka than a snicka” probably reverberates in their household, she will probably think if a man admires her body, then he automatically admires the rest of her, and again why the hell are you telling a nine year old what a man likes? Sounds like a Madam grooming her daughter to me!
2. It wasn’t her father that made her late, it was her MOTHER. It wasn’t her father that put his physical needs before his children, it was her MOTHER. Apparently having an orgasm superseded her children being on time for school.
Fathers teach their daughters what a man looks like, how a man should treat you, and so on. Guess what Mothers teach their daughters? WOMANHOOD! Right now, a lot of young Sisters are getting warped lessons from their Mothers.
Later that week, there was another student, who is thirteen (also from a single parent home) that wrote a male teacher a letter, telling him that she would “do him and his buddies” if he would give her the lighter that he confiscated from her, because she didn’t want to get in trouble. A thirteen year old has cheapened her PRICELESS womb down to a simple lighter, and was willing to barter her womb for it. This should be disturbing to all that read this. What makes her think that it is ok for her to approach a grown man like that? Do we not see how the daughters of our community are auctioning themselves, but more importantly do we not see who may be influencing them the MOST? The Mothers! Look at the picture that is posted along with this article, yes it’s disturbing to see a Sister posing this way…but the MOST disturbing aspect is that she has her daughter taking the picture!
Here is her Mother, with her leg propped up, dressed in lingerie, posing as her daughter takes the picture. What type of image will that leave in her mind? If she sees her MOTHER in this manner, how will she ultimately see HERSELF?
We as parents are setting our children up to fail, to be a teen or hell preteen mother, a drop out, and vulnerable to predators. Some of our daughters are being corrupted by their own Mothers. Don’t tell me about the absent Fathers, right now I am more concerned about the PRESENT MOTHERS and the damage being done to our children. Everyone wants to talk about the “pimp” but no one wants to discuss the Madam.
I will let my girl Jilly from Philly tell you about the REAL “thickness“, for those Mothers that teach their child, that “thickness” is a badge of honor. I dedicate this song to you. Listen to this song and instead of the sister that Jill speaks about being 14….imagine her as 9!!!!!
Staff Writer; Nojma Muhammad
To learn more about this talented sister, feel free to visit;
Nojma Reflects.
View Comments
This song is wow!
Angie was right, it's the mentality of the parent. My mother raised us a certain way that instilled self-value as well as morals. I remember my mother used to always say that when we leave the house, we were a reflection of her. And if by any chance, we reflected her in a bad light, trust me, it wasn't pretty. But that taught me that to always be respectful of myself and others. As a parent now, I am raising my children, the same way. I wouldn't dare tell my child what a man likes! That is the most absurd thing I have heard in a long time. I have seen where the mother want to be the daughter's "friend" but my child has playmates and I am here to govern to ensure that my children have the quality of life they deserve and become successful when they begin their journey is life.
I love Jill Scott and her music. She seems to be a good person inside and out. Jill Scott is a single mom.
Coming from a single parent home, my mom would never catch me nor my sisters or my brothers acting like that. It is not about a single parent home versus a two parent home, it is about that parent's mentality. I have seen a husband and wife argue with school officials because they were "taking too long" to tell them where their child will be placed even though it was only two people ahead of them. I have seen parent(s) drop their kids off in pajamas on the corner of the school. I have heard teachers don't see parents until report card pick up even though volunteer work is offered throughout the school year. It is the adult. I do agree with most of what you are saying. It happens commonly in single parent home but it will always be the parent's fault even if they are or aren't together.
This is beyond sad.