(ThyBlackMan.com) After NBA Hall of Famer Michael Jordan was engaged to long-time girlfriend Yvette Prieto this week, a lot of folks in the black community looked at their computer screens with a crooked neck. Not that anyone is particularly interested in the personal life of Michael Jordan, but some were trying to make sense out of why this 48-year old super-bachelor from a messy divorce that led to one of the largest payouts in history would ever go anywhere near a wedding ceremony. But as I mention in my book, “Financial Lovemaking,” love makes us all do crazy things, and even Mike is not immune to the power of love (aka, “Mother Nature’s crack pipe”).
I must confess that the first question being asked by many of our YourBlackWorld readers was “Who cares?” It’s not that anyone has any particular reason to be concerned about Michael Jordan’s personal life. But
Beyond the “who cares?” crowd, most people had other questions that went beyond the obvious. After seeing all the comments on the issue on our Facebook page, I thought I’d share a few questions some people had about the new Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jordan:
1) Has he lost his damn mind?
Kobe Bryant is set to lose half of his $300 million fortune in his pending divorce. Mel Gibson is about to pay his wife a cool $425 million to get out of his marriage. Some might wonder why a man with millions of women worshipping the ground he walks on would ever consider signing onto something that could cost him so dearly. But Michael Jordan didn’t get rich by being stupid, which then leads us to the next question.
2)What kind of prenup did she sign?
It’s not a matter of asking whether Michael Jordan had his future wife sign a prenup, that’s a foregone conclusion. The only question to ask, actually, is how much Michael Jordan would be willing to give his wife in a divorce settlement. The man who was smart enough to create a shoe that has black kids stabbing one another in order to get a pair is probably savvy enough to protect his money from the dark side of love.
So, given that this poor woman is willing to sign on for a lifetime with His Airness, we must then ask the next question…..
3) Does his future wife know what she’s getting into?
Let’s be real…Michael Jordan has, well, a reputation. He’s known for being a bit of a narcissist with a deep-seated inferiority complex, and he gave arguably one of the worst, most self-centered Hall of Fame induction speeches in history. Only a truly “interesting” person would fly in the boy (now a man) who took his position on the JV basketball squad and force him to present his Hall of Fame Induction plaque. Michael Jordan was not honoring this man, he was seeking to humiliate him.
You also have to wonder what kind of husband Michael Jordan would be. It’s no secret that Mike loves the ladies and (in my best Pootie-Tang/Chris Rock voice) “lawud knows the ladies be loving Mike.” At the age of 48, has he sown enough oats to settle down and be a good boy in his marriage? Only time will tell.
4) Is she white, Latino, or what?
No, she’s not white and she’s not African American. She’s Cuban. But did you really expect Michael Jordan to marry a black woman? Given the track record of so many black male professional athletes, most “sistuhs” are getting used to seeing black male athletes pass them right up when it’s time to walk down the aisle. To be honest, if I were a black woman, I’d find this trend to be a bit insulting – I’m not sure which pro athlete held the meeting to decide that black women were not as pretty as women of other backgrounds.
But hey, love is love, and we can’t judge the authenticity of another person’s relationship. Mike gave his best years (and nearly all of his money) to a black woman, so he can’t be accused of ignoring black women entirely.
5) How old is she? Isn’t she like an infant or something?
No, she’s not an infant, but she’s 16-years younger than Mike. She’s the ripe old age of 32…not quite R. Kelly territory, but young enough to meet expectations. When she was in kindergarten, Mike was graduating from college. When she finished high school, Mike had retired from the NBA. The age gap can seem kind of disturbing when you put it that way, but a 32-year old woman is entirely understood when she chooses to settle down with a multi-millionaire of almost any age.
In Mike’s tortured quest to hold onto his fading youth, the young pretty wife can keep the old “playa playa” young at heart. Most men understand that one, at least a little bit. Even 68-year old Robert De Niro is still having newborn babies, and Larry King has a child in middle school, so I guess anything is possible.
Good luck with this marriage Mike, I hope it works out. Do I have a prediction regarding whether they’ll make it or not? Well, I’ll tell you what I think after the divorce…..just kidding….maybe not – I’m not going to say another word.
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Cuban is not a race, it's an nationality. Cubans can be white, or black, or anything in between
Uhm...last time I checked "Cuban" was not a color.
I know my comment is VERY late but I had to weigh in.
Ramses said, "I know black women who say that when black women see them being respectful to black men in a reverential way, they say things like "you don't have to do that for him, or he ain't all that, or I wouldn't be going through all that just please him, etc. and sometime say these sistas are acting white just because they show their men the utmost treatment."
Such a true statement. Ghetto-minded hood rats have been putting down decent black women for years. Ever since I was younger and up to this very day, these females continue to spread hatred and ignorance. Actually, it all starts with the still-bitter older females teaching younger females. They hate seeing black women happy becaue they have no idea what happiness is.
@Mack -- Didn't mean to imply that Wells, Bethune, and Tubman were alone in the total struggle, just their particular circumstance. As far as I know, Harriet Tubman did not have a male assistant on her journeys. But I realize these ladies had all kinds of support from and gave support to a number of excellent Black men along the way, so your point is well taken.
On the other hand, I know that to this day there are a lot of things Black women are doing because we can no longer wait for a Black man in our particular circumstance to step up and do them. There are some things I am doing in my community that I have had to handle alone for a minute; some Black men -- not all, but some -- are not focused on meeting the challenges of the day. Believe me, I would LOVE to pass the ball and will have to pass the ball at some point... some of that has to do with being very serious about searching out the men that don't get the airtime but who are quietly capable of doing whatever job needs doing. But there can be some lagtime... as I'm sure the three ladies I mentioned could relate to...
But again, much respect to your point; I didn't mean and don't mean to imply that Black men at any time have just been sitting around. Maybe -- given the efforts of our oppressors to scatter us, efforts that are still somewhat successful -- maybe what we need to do as serious-minded Black men and women is to look each other up between crises so we can work together effectively when the smack hits the fan...
Sis Deeann:
Oh yea, one final thing concerning something you mentioned:
"Strong Black women are here to stay, as they have been for thousands and thousands of years. Just ask your own grandmothers, and then ask Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, and Nzinga, along with Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells, and Mary McCleod-Bethune. "
I'm in full agreement with you on this one. I've actually been studying Ida B. Wells and think she was a PHENOMENAL sister. But I digress...
"The latter three stepped up in a time when there was no man to fill the particular gap that had to be filled in their area — again, occasionally Adam’s sons have not always done as they should in terms of leadership, very like their first father."
This I have a problem with. Tubman, Wells and Bethune had a specific platform that black male contemporaries of the time did not have access to. All three ladies were active in the women's rights movement of the day, giving them a larger platform than just the struggle for civil rights.
Bethune did great things, but not because there weren't any brothers around to fill the role. Black men were actively engaged in the same struggle as she: most notably Rev. S. B. Darnell, who founded Cookman Institute, which was named after the Rev. Alfred Cookman, a Methodist minister, who gave money for the assembly of the first building. This school was the first HBCU founded by a brother who eventually merged his school with Sister Bethune's school for girls, forming Bethune-Cookman. This doesn't take anything away from her, but it gives a more balance perspective that there were plenty black men engaged in the struggle WITH her, not missing in action as you made it seem.
Ida B. Wells was married to a man named Ferdinand Lee Barnett, who was a heavyweight of the times his own self. The brother was a very prominent lawyer, and served 14 years as assistant state’s attorney under a Republican governor, and ran his own newspaper which he later sold to his wife. And this was way back in the day! Plus the brother was an avid supporter of racial justice since the late 1800's. Again: black men were not missing in action. He simply didn't have the platform of women's rights that helped Ida gain more national and international attention. not taking anything away from the sister. She was a baaaad mamajama! This quote by her should be framed and hung on everybody's wall at home:
"The lesson this teaches and which every Afro-American should ponder well, is that a Winchester rifle should have a place of honor in every black home, and it should be used for that protection which the law refuses to give. When the white man who is always the aggressor knows he runs as great a risk of biting the dust every time his Afro-American victim does, he will have greater respect for Afro-American life. The more the Afro-American yields and cringes and begs, the more he has to do so, the more he is insulted, outraged and lynched."
Now what brother couldn't marry a sister who thought like that?!
Finally we have Sis. Tubman. Not taking anything away from her, there were many men around during her era who were also ardent fighters for freedom. The most popular slave rebellions happened during her years, most notably: Denmark Vesey's Uprising (1822), Nat Turner's slave rebellion (1831), BlackSeminole Slave Rebellion (1835–1838), and the Amistad Seizure (1839). Plus keep in mind she was a contemporary of the most famous black spokesperson of that century: Fredrick Douglass. So she didn't fill a gap brothers were afraid to fill, bad sister though she was: she worked alongside WITH brothers to secure freedom for our people.
I had to address that because you made it seem as if these sisters came to influence in the absence of black men willing to do the job, when clearly that was not the case. But that doesn't take anything away from their strength as sisters; nor their God-given gifts. It just gives a more balanced perspective. ;-)
Peace @Mack and Deanne. Feedback was thought-provoking. Let me first address you Deanne and let me preface this by saying this is not a beat down session. but let me reference something you said in the following:
That being said, there are indeed many times when there is excellent Black male leadership that Black women nowadays will simply not support because of their own egos. I have witnessed Black men being torn down by strong Black women who used their strength in order to protect their own ego, position, and/or privilege, so there is a major problem that women are creating for themselves and everybody that has to be around them.
This is the heart of the matter. I bring scripture into discussions sometimes because it illuminates topics of discussion. However, when the Eve story comes up, most women tend to blame Man for Eve's fatal decision. However, let's tease that out. First and foremost, there was no reason for Adam to "protect" because they both felt protected in the garden because they never had any reason to fear outside of not touching the tree. However, whenever you talk about the fall, the first thing black females tend to do is place all the blame with Man saying he should have known better. However, once again let's tease this out. If God created Woman, to be your companion or helpmeet and she brings you something to eat, would you seriously doubt her bringing something to nourish you with? Of course not because your God told you she was created from you and for your benefit. Now it's my contention that this Eve being created from Adam is a metaphor for Men being in an environment where women look like women, in some cases at least, but "think" in the words of steve harvey like a man. Eve wanted power, let's not forget that. Adam didn't want it because if he did he would have taken it first. He was quite content living in harmony with eve. And this is the dilemma females face now. You allow yourselves to be duped into not having enough and then when you realize you've been duped, then you want to come back home like you've been loyal the whole time. This is not true. If you read the book the negro problem, which you can find online, it starts out with Booker T and even in the late 1800's they were having problems with the females because of their drive to ultimately be corporate. I don't know what's worse: self-denial or naivete. Either way it's detrimental in terms of the ability of black men and women forming relationships. Black women have turned into black men's worse enemy because of their way of thinking. It's that simple. Eve knew she was wrong and yet she still came to her Man and gave him something she knew was not good for him. That's not the sign of a true companion. The Adam and Eve story is a metaphor for the black man and woman's history from ancient times. You have cleopatra who san the egyptian empire, Hatsheput trying to look like a man, Xenobia who killed her husband (a black man who cared for her) to gain his power. That's the art of womanhood you see. The art of womanhood is knowing how and who to delegate power to as a Man. You said it yourself, women do not want to give up this power (black women that is but american women in general) which is why they are more unsuccessful than successful in their relationships. You said because it threatens their ego and position. The black woman only has a position because of her master. And how can woman have ego when she lives in a world where she is dominated by men? A woman should never have ego or want power. Now she does and should have influence if she represents the sacred feminine principles. Outside of that she is unruly. You don't hear Korean women say "I'm a strong korean woman." Nor chinese or any other women. I hate the term because it implies weak black man. It's not our fault that your mothers and grandmothers chose to abandon men generations ago and adopt feminism. But you can't fault us for looking elsewhere in terms of quality women who represent the sacred feminine principle. Your entire school system was set-up by people who set out to destroy the sacred feminine however you didn't have to fall for it. Some men like myself and Mack are conscious enough and read enough to know what happened and we don't reject truth. Black women need to just own up to what you all did. You sold us out masking it under the preconceived notion that black men weren't doing anything which to me disrespects Garvey, Malcolm, Khalid Muhammad, Malachi York, and other men who tried to protect you'll. But these men were the weirdos. The "angry black men" as we're called sometimes mocked. The ones who can't get a job. Now there are countless people in this country without jobs and have degrees. No some of you are now feeling what it's like to be a black man in this country. We sounded the bell. No one listened and everyone got screwed. Black women are weak and vulnerable just like any human. This proverbial shield you all wear is tired and played out and has gotten you nowhere except complete alienation from your men. I'd say that's complete failure in terms of womanhood. They did a study saying that with all your jobs and income that the black woman's net worth amounts to $5. You'll sold your man out for 5 dollars? I mean you like to say that black women did it because someone had to step up to the plate. Really? My great grandfather was married for 50 years to his wife and he maintained outside the home and she did inside the home. You think there weren't men like him around then as well? This is the biggest farce I've ever seen perpetrated on the minds of you sisters and you completely feel for it. My loyalty is not to race anymore but the human race because "race" is nothing but a construct. I need to see your cultural values. What kind of family you kind from. What do you stand for. It's hard for me to affirm the strength in black women when I see nothing but weakness. 80% percent of your kids born out of wedlock is not strength. I know it's hard to hear but it's not strength. The notion of the single black woman is and was a ploy to subtly to suggest strength when in actuality it projects weakness because when an unmarried woman has a child, it automatically shows a lack of discipline. Your scripture will tell you this. 70-80% percent of black women being obese is not strength. I've had 55 year old black men, asking me, and I'm only 33, "do black women want to get married anymore" after hearing conversations from me and my brethren. The elders are asking the ones under them what's wrong with black women. You need to stop looking at yourself as a "Black Woman" and instead of just as a woman because the race aspect complicates it because if you carry yourself in a respectable manner, then Men will come your way. When a woman sees Man as her partner, then she understands her role as it relates to man. However, if she sees him as threatening, then she only sees him as competition, which she could never compete with in the first place. There was time in this country where the world respected us Men over here cause they saw us fighting but feminism, along with the approval of black women effectively destroyed the black man for the most part. He's weak, docile, malleable, compromising, unlike the Moor of old. Whne you all mentally castrated the black man you created your homosexual men, down low men, your abusive men, your stripper daughters, your homosexual daughters, and your corporate daughters as well as your welfare daughters. Black women for the most part hate black men, just look at the facts. This hatred goes back a long time. Like Noble Drew Ali said, this is an ancient hatred we're dealing with as a people. When you see the destruction that's staring black people in north america's face, the culprit is the Woman. When civilization erodes you always look towards the mental condition of Woman. You build civilization through the womb but you also tear it down through the womb. I don't see any notable black females (Oprah) criticizing the whore complex her fellow "sisters" are exhibiting. Hell Tyra Banks did more shows on the phenomenon of self-hate that permeates through the minds of black women but because she was a model she was only taken half seriously and she had more knowledge on the matter based on the industry she was apart of. However, when Bill Cosby criticized black women, he was villified!!!! Black females don't get the bebefit of the doubt anymore because they have effectively destroyed their group in a much more subtle, and cunning way and it's been through their screwed up education and their notions of superiority to the black man. I say all the time black women know how to respect men, she just chooses to respect white men that's all. You don't see black women going around just disrespecting white men in the manner they do black men and really to be honest it's quite traitorous to see your men get beat down by his enemies, but instead of comforting him you join in on the beat down? And yet we're supposed to be loyal? And then when we get a white woman (something black women really want to be but won't admit it) because we just happened to meet her or hell I don't care if a man specifically chooses her, then we're in the wrong!!! I see why black women are by themselves because when you'e totally absorbed with you, then the best person to be with is you; just you. Or another woman just like you which is why you see a lot of them being gay now. The black man has been remade in the image of a black woman, probably the most negative force on this planet at the moment. And I never thought I would say that. I used to be pro-black as they came. From the carribean, to the US (haven't really seen it from the black women in south america although i'm sure it's there) to africa, there is a negative energy emanating from black women and even black women will say this about one another so it's not like i'm pulling something out of thin air. Black women will get on tv and make a fool of themselves (jerry springer, maury povich, unreality tv shows, etc, etc) just to make a buck instead of joining hands with respectful brothers to create something of value: a family. Enough said
@ Sis. Deann:
I'm officially calling you Sis because I love how you think. We don't always agree on everything, and thats cool. As long as we keep it respectful I actually welcome the disagreement.
While I can't speak for Ramses, from my perspective we're not attacking the truly strong black women. Its those false-flagging sisters who pretend that rebellion against black men is being strong...those are the ones I will not tolerate. Not out of hating on anyone or trying to keep sisters down: simply because I see the destructive aftermath of that form of thinking.
Its been my experience that usually the ones claiming how strong they are be the ones who are actually the weakest. They use words like 'strong, strength and diva' to mask their inability to face the truth about why they can't sustain and keep a meaningful relationship with a decent brother. They use excuses about black men not attending college or gaining an education, which is pure bull. Then they say all the brothers are running off after white women, which is more malarkey.
Truth is: brothers don't get with these sisters because we're not stupid: we can see the blatant problems that will only intensify if the relationship is pursued. Some go off and find happiness with women of another race. And more power to them. But those who desire to be with a black woman are practically forced into becoming serial daters or what many call 'playas' just to hopefully find the right one. Finding a good sister with her head on right less the drama and the baggage is like looking for a proverbial needle in a haystack.
These same 'funk-faking' strong sisters will be the first to look down and talk greasy about the truly strong queens who hold it down with their man, respect their office as a woman and the office of the black man, and wear humility and grace like a beautiful inner gown that adorns their spirits. But misery loves company, and just seeing a happy sister with a decent brother makes the haters angry, because its an indictment against their own failure to upgrade their thinking.
I still maintain that good, marriageable black women are hard to find because they don't stay single for long. Soon as a brother spots one he quickly moves in and snatches her off the market. The rest simply need to see themselves from a man's perspective if they want to be in a meaningful relationship; and do the inner work (and outer) needed to become wifeable too.
The problem seems to come in when a black MAN dares to articulate this. He immediately becomes public enemy number one. I guess that's why many dudes simply pander to the sisters and tell them what they want to hear. But if sisters can't hear the truth from us, how can they ever gain the fulfillment they seek in a relationship?
And with all due respect to the most High: Jesus ain't gonna lay in bed with you and keep you warm at night...no matter how many times a week you call on Him! It takes a man here on Earth to do that. So flocking up in churches trying to make the pastor your defacto man isn't gonna cut it.
This isn't directed at you Sis; but there are a lot of women who think Jesus will just send them a man in the current jacked up state they're in without doing the necessary inner work first to sustain a healthy relationship. Jesus is known for taking men OUT of hell, not sending men into it.
Between the article and the comments, there's another article, and I only have a few minutes to deal with it...
About Michael Jordan and Yvette Prieto: they do deserve congratulations and even kudos. If they have been together a long time, and probably doing everything married couples do, it is good and right for them to make it official and just get married. Marriage is honorable -- and 50 is hardly old and dried up. Many a 32-year-old would do well to marry an upstanding older brotha who has his life together, to say nothing of one with Jordan's resources. My prayer is that their marriage will be based on more than his wallet, but I commend them both for doing the right thing so far as actually getting married.
Interracial relationship drama -- I'm so tired of this topic. I personally believe that it is best to marry Black if you are Black -- shared history is important, and it is not good to have children whose grandparents, if you will, have historically been at each other's throats UNLESS you have thought that out and are prepared to help your children navigate the facts. On the other hand, if both parties are Black and have no sense of their own history and no respect for each other, that's no good either. Think before you leap; that's all I ask of any two humans. As for a Black man marrying another woman of any race or my own, that does not diminish me and my prospects. I know for certain: what God has for me will be mine, in His time. As many Black women as there are going to church, we ought to be able to trust God in that area and calm down. But, drama about IR reveals a lack of trust, and that is something that God cannot reward.
26 comments... no way to get to all the material. About college vs. education: Ramses is right. Anybody with a unstoppable will to learn WILL learn what they need to be successful, degree or not -- the libraries plus the Internet plus various freestanding educational resources have made it possible to have what the great men and women of every generation have had: a self-directed education, fitted to meet the specific dreams and talents God has given every individual. Everything I know about business, commerce, corporations, and running a business I learned AFTER college. This is not to say college is completely irrelevant: I learned lots of things and made lots of connections in college I would not have learned elsewhere because I had no other way of knowing where to get the information or access to the people at the time. And I suspect that is true for a lot of people still. I still use the skills I learned, because I chose my majors based on what tools they would give me for uses beyond going to work and getting a job in the respective fields. God had tipped me off, to a point, to what was happening in the country; I knew I would eventually start my own business, and I knew what my inclinations were. But let's be clear on one thing: while I got the job, the degree could not help me keep it. I graduated summa cum laude, all-university honors... and lasted 16 months before I was laid off. A degree is a piece of paper; if you are not ready for a fully self-directed education, go to college to get skills and make connections, not for the degree. Pick up a book called Campus CEO: The Student Entrepreneur's Guide to Owning a Business and read it before you go... maybe you can pick up and use enough principles to break even on all those student loan debt... or even better. The brotha who wrote the book made $400,000 in college, using the same principles Ramses was sharing...
About women and higher education: I do not think the standard of 18-22 years of a fully secular education has done men or women any good in knowing how to fulfill their God-ordained roles. And I see the point of "God instructed Woman to be with Man before he told her to get a degree." BUT, when I check Genesis, God brought the woman to the man, and left HIM some instructions -- "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" -- Genesis 1:24. As I have mentioned before in a comment, the passage is quoted in Mark and Ephesians, so the instruction was given three times. And for good reason, for apparently, Adam was not cleaving particularly close when the serpent slithered up... and I think that is one of the factors that must be considered along with the reasoning behind the Eve complex. Many of Eve's daughters remember how their mother was left unprotected to face the serpent's wiles, and how their father turned around and blamed the whole thing on Eve when God clearly asked ADAM what HE had done... in like manner, the failures of some of Adam's sons must be considered in tandem with the failure of some of Eve's daughters when considering what happens to women as they choose to interact with higher education and career opportunities.
Further on this same subject: God certainly ordained marriage before college, but then again, He ordained marriage before anything except day, night, the genetic patterns of all life, and the bounds of the ocean, the sky, and the land. I do not think God has a problem with women being as educated as they need to be to meet the conditions of their day. The Proverbs 31 woman may not have been able to go to Harvard, since there was no Harvard, but she clearly had picked up a lot about both "women's stuff" -- sewing, shopping for food, and gardening -- but also about things that some men like to consider their unique domain. Not only does the Proverbs 31 woman work from home, she understands and engages in commerce and trade outside-- "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard," says Proverbs 31:16. "She perceiveth that her merchandise is good," says Proverbs 31:18, "and her candle goeth not out by night" -- she works late, apparently, doing excellent work. All that would have required a first-class education for that agriculturally dominated day. There are, of course, two things to note:
1. Her husband feels no need to check up on what she is doing -- he trusts her completely (Proverbs 31:11)
2. What she does, she does for the good of her husband and her family (Proverbs 31:12, 23, and 28).
We no longer live in an agricultural society; the Industrial Age is turning into the Information Age, and I do not think God is opposed to a woman preparing herself as much as she can to meet the conditions, particularly since she is going to be the first educator of her children. There is, however, something to be said about purpose. God will not bless anyone in self-centered pursuits; a woman who thinks only of doing things for herself in defiance of God's will will be judged as surely as a man of the same mindset. No one is placed on this earth just to exist. For every man that is meant to be married (and the Bible shows that there are exceptions to that), God has a purpose for that man to serve in his time and community, and when the man understands he will not be able to fulfill that purpose alone, God will reveal to him his wife (per Genesis 2:20 to the close of the chapter). For every woman that is meant to be married (and again, the Bible shows that there are exceptions to that), God has a purpose for that woman to serve in her time and community, and when the woman understands she cannot fulfill that purpose alone, God will lead her to the man who is looking for his God-ordained complement and will find it in her.
One final note... I do get tired of hearing the "strong Black woman" getting put down. I wish you gentlemen would find another way of making your point, for attacking the "strong Black woman," even in archetype, looks from my gender perspective very like it would look if you were trying to destroy a cliff face with your bare hands. I do see that there are a lot of weak women trying to ACT strong like a bunch of bullies; I do see that there are "extra-average" women doing and demanding too much; I get that you may be getting at that fact by attacking the archetype. But behind the archetype, there is a truth: Black women, in their maturity, are strong. You can as much change that as you can change the blackness of the night sky which holds up all the stars, and sometimes the attacks on the "strong Black woman" sound just about that strange to Black women who are aware, even dimly, of the reality of the strength to which they are heiresses. We are the daughters and mothers of a strong race, of strong men and strong women who survived the worst treatment the modern world has had to dish out. Strong Black women are here to stay, as they have been for thousands and thousands of years. Just ask your own grandmothers, and then ask Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, and Nzinga, along with Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells, and Mary McCleod-Bethune. The latter three stepped up in a time when there was no man to fill the particular gap that had to be filled in their area -- again, occasionally Adam's sons have not always done as they should in terms of leadership, very like their first father.
That being said, there are indeed many times when there is excellent Black male leadership that Black women nowadays will simply not support because of their own egos. I have witnessed Black men being torn down by strong Black women who used their strength in order to protect their own ego, position, and/or privilege, so there is a major problem that women are creating for themselves and everybody that has to be around them. But just as greater physical strength does not make a man a brute in itself, neither does the strength of the Black woman make her a problem for the Black man. The question in both cases is how the strength is used. Black women in general need to re-learn how to use the strength constructively, in concert with Black men in general, in support, once married, of their husbands, and in protection and proper nurturing of their children. This education is definitely lacking overall (and it will have to come from somewhere beside college). That point is well seen and taken. But to encourage the necessary change, it might be as well to affirm the strength before challenging the use.
Peace @Mack. It's funny. I said back in the day that black women of this generation don't want to resolve issues, they want to win arguments. However, lawyers win arguments, but it doesn't mean things are resolved. How many people walk away from court thinking they hate the outcome, even sides that win!!! However, I said that in order for black women to be saved, they are gonna have to let go of the archetype of the "STRONG BLACK WOMAN." I Use the word archetype instead of stereotype for a specific reason. Webster's 3rd example of the definition is the following:
an inherited idea or mode of thought in the psychology of C. G. Jung that is derived from the experience of the race and is present in the unconscious of the individual
Black people have this notion of "THE STRONG BLACK WOMAN" where she is like superman and woman combined. This is and has always been a false notion and they need to realize that the notion of feminism was built off this notion, which is nowhere to being true. The sad thing is they think love is based off of what they want to hear. Love is telling you what you don't want to hear for your own good. While black women speak emotion on here we speak facts. It's interesting though Mack because outside of you, when i go on my diatribes (lol) you're the only one who consistently responds! You got so-called brothers (these weak cowards are no brothers of mine they will sel you out for a piece of booty in a minute) who say nothing which is worse than the bitter females because deep down they know it's the truth but because they have allowed the notion of a real WOman to be reconfigured for them and they have accepted it, then they don't say anything and therein lies the problem. I know I say the truth cause when you can say something to a black woman and it shuts her ass up, you know you've spoken truth as a brother. But at the end of the day she like most of her counterparts are suffering for the things they desired. They desired (sold their souls) for materialism showing their allegiance to Satan or whatever name you want to apply to this dark force. I never did it nor you Mack and why would we subject ourselves to females who clearly have no Allegiance to the Divine Architect off the Universe? I'm not into religions but the Law;there's a difference. They go to church cause the church takes their money and tells them what they want to hear. Don't that sound like pimpology? They literally and figuratively are being screwed through their purses and their legs as well. Most of them are like Steph: unwiling to hear truth.
@ Ramses:
Bruh, you're making all the sense in the world. Truth is though, women like Steph have a script that they keep to. Its easier for them to repeat the same mantra about the lack of good black men, because it keeps them from doing any real self-reflection. Sometimes the hardest person to look at is the one in the mirror.
Its the whole 'Mirror mirror on the wall' thing. As long as the mirror tells them what they want to hear..."you're beautiful, there's nothing wrong with you, you're not fat you're just thick, you don't need a man because you're educated, there's no good black men left..." They're cool with that.
But the minute someone comes along and gets the mirror to tell a different reality, suddenly theres a problem!
I actually pity the chick and those like her. Already in their 30's and 40's, with poisonous mindsets, destined to live as lonely old spinsters surrounded by little poodle dogs and cats. That's a sad fall from the height sisters once occupied when they were proud to be wives, help meets and part of a parenting team. Remember back when sisters were such excellent mothers even white folks wanted them to raise their kids too? We called them nannies back then.
Now ask yourself: who in their right mind outside of black men who got caught up would allow a woman with a mindset like our beloved sister here to raise their children? Sisters use to be the queens they only now pretend to be. But that was several generations ago. Now they've been lied to and gassed up so much they can't see reality for what it is.
But thank GOD there are some who have started to awaken. With these we can rebuild and grow strong once more. For those that refuse to change: nature has a way of weeding out their gene pool over the course of time.