Michael Jordan Engaged, 5 Questions Black People are Asking..

by Staff December 30, 2011 34 Comments News Opinion Sports Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) After NBA Hall of Famer Michael Jordan was engaged to long-time girlfriend Yvette Prieto this week, a lot of folks in the black community looked at their computer screens with a crooked neck. Not that anyone is particularly interested in the personal life of Michael Jordan, but some were trying to make sense out of why this 48-year old super-bachelor from a messy divorce that led to one of the largest payouts in history would ever go anywhere near a wedding ceremony. But as I mention in my book, “Financial Lovemaking,” love makes us all do crazy things, and even Mike is not immune to the power of love (aka, “Mother Nature’s crack pipe”).

I must confess that the first question being asked by many of our YourBlackWorld readers was “Who cares?” It’s not that anyone has any particular reason to be concerned about Michael Jordan’s personal life. But personally, I love finding all the teachable moments that lie within interesting current events, and the financial/relationship choices of prominent black male athletes can make for an interesting exercise in professorial thought.

Beyond the “who cares?” crowd, most people had other questions that went beyond the obvious. After seeing all the comments on the issue on our Facebook page, I thought I’d share a few questions some people had about the new Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jordan:

1) Has he lost his damn mind?

Kobe Bryant is set to lose half of his $300 million fortune in his pending divorce. Mel Gibson is about to pay his wife a cool $425 million to get out of his marriage. Some might wonder why a man with millions of women worshipping the ground he walks on would ever consider signing onto something that could cost him so dearly. But Michael Jordan didn’t get rich by being stupid, which then leads us to the next question.

2)What kind of prenup did she sign?

It’s not a matter of asking whether Michael Jordan had his future wife sign a prenup, that’s a foregone conclusion. The only question to ask, actually, is how much Michael Jordan would be willing to give his wife in a divorce settlement. The man who was smart enough to create a shoe that has black kids stabbing one another in order to get a pair is probably savvy enough to protect his money from the dark side of love.

So, given that this poor woman is willing to sign on for a lifetime with His Airness, we must then ask the next question…..

3) Does his future wife know what she’s getting into?

Let’s be real…Michael Jordan has, well, a reputation. He’s known for being a bit of a narcissist with a deep-seated inferiority complex, and he gave arguably one of the worst, most self-centered Hall of Fame induction speeches in history. Only a truly “interesting” person would fly in the boy (now a man) who took his position on the JV basketball squad and force him to present his Hall of Fame Induction plaque. Michael Jordan was not honoring this man, he was seeking to humiliate him.

You also have to wonder what kind of husband Michael Jordan would be. It’s no secret that Mike loves the ladies and (in my best Pootie-Tang/Chris Rock voice) “lawud knows the ladies be loving Mike.” At the age of 48, has he sown enough oats to settle down and be a good boy in his marriage? Only time will tell.

4) Is she white, Latino, or what?

No, she’s not white and she’s not African American. She’s Cuban. But did you really expect Michael Jordan to marry a black woman? Given the track record of so many black male professional athletes, most “sistuhs” are getting used to seeing black male athletes pass them right up when it’s time to walk down the aisle. To be honest, if I were a black woman, I’d find this trend to be a bit insulting – I’m not sure which pro athlete held the meeting to decide that black women were not as pretty as women of other backgrounds.

But hey, love is love, and we can’t judge the authenticity of another person’s relationship. Mike gave his best years (and nearly all of his money) to a black woman, so he can’t be accused of ignoring black women entirely.

5) How old is she? Isn’t she like an infant or something?

No, she’s not an infant, but she’s 16-years younger than Mike. She’s the ripe old age of 32…not quite R. Kelly territory, but young enough to meet expectations. When she was in kindergarten, Mike was graduating from college. When she finished high school, Mike had retired from the NBA. The age gap can seem kind of disturbing when you put it that way, but a 32-year old woman is entirely understood when she chooses to settle down with a multi-millionaire of almost any age.

In Mike’s tortured quest to hold onto his fading youth, the young pretty wife can keep the old “playa playa” young at heart. Most men understand that one, at least a little bit. Even 68-year old Robert De Niro is still having newborn babies, and Larry King has a child in middle school, so I guess anything is possible.

Good luck with this marriage Mike, I hope it works out. Do I have a prediction regarding whether they’ll make it or not? Well, I’ll tell you what I think after the divorce…..just kidding….maybe not – I’m not going to say another word.

Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins

Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.

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Frank says:
June 4, 2017 at 1:30 am
Cuban is not a race, it’s an nationality. Cubans can be white, or black, or anything in between
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Edward says:
January 22, 2017 at 6:12 pm
Uhm…last time I checked “Cuban” was not a color.
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toomanygrandkids says:
February 3, 2014 at 9:14 pm
I know my comment is VERY late but I had to weigh in.
Ramses said, “I know black women who say that when black women see them being respectful to black men in a reverential way, they say things like “you don’t have to do that for him, or he ain’t all that, or I wouldn’t be going through all that just please him, etc. and sometime say these sistas are acting white just because they show their men the utmost treatment.”
Such a true statement. Ghetto-minded hood rats have been putting down decent black women for years. Ever since I was younger and up to this very day, these females continue to spread hatred and ignorance. Actually, it all starts with the still-bitter older females teaching younger females. They hate seeing black women happy becaue they have no idea what happiness is.
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Deeann D. Mathews says:
November 6, 2012 at 5:04 pm
@Mack — Didn’t mean to imply that Wells, Bethune, and Tubman were alone in the total struggle, just their particular circumstance. As far as I know, Harriet Tubman did not have a male assistant on her journeys. But I realize these ladies had all kinds of support from and gave support to a number of excellent Black men along the way, so your point is well taken.
On the other hand, I know that to this day there are a lot of things Black women are doing because we can no longer wait for a Black man in our particular circumstance to step up and do them. There are some things I am doing in my community that I have had to handle alone for a minute; some Black men — not all, but some — are not focused on meeting the challenges of the day. Believe me, I would LOVE to pass the ball and will have to pass the ball at some point… some of that has to do with being very serious about searching out the men that don’t get the airtime but who are quietly capable of doing whatever job needs doing. But there can be some lagtime… as I’m sure the three ladies I mentioned could relate to…
But again, much respect to your point; I didn’t mean and don’t mean to imply that Black men at any time have just been sitting around. Maybe — given the efforts of our oppressors to scatter us, efforts that are still somewhat successful — maybe what we need to do as serious-minded Black men and women is to look each other up between crises so we can work together effectively when the smack hits the fan…
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Mack says:
November 3, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Sis Deeann:
Oh yea, one final thing concerning something you mentioned:
“Strong Black women are here to stay, as they have been for thousands and thousands of years. Just ask your own grandmothers, and then ask Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, and Nzinga, along with Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells, and Mary McCleod-Bethune. ”
I’m in full agreement with you on this one. I’ve actually been studying Ida B. Wells and think she was a PHENOMENAL sister. But I digress…
“The latter three stepped up in a time when there was no man to fill the particular gap that had to be filled in their area — again, occasionally Adam’s sons have not always done as they should in terms of leadership, very like their first father.”
This I have a problem with. Tubman, Wells and Bethune had a specific platform that black male contemporaries of the time did not have access to. All three ladies were active in the women’s rights movement of the day, giving them a larger platform than just the struggle for civil rights.
Bethune did great things, but not because there weren’t any brothers around to fill the role. Black men were actively engaged in the same struggle as she: most notably Rev. S. B. Darnell, who founded Cookman Institute, which was named after the Rev. Alfred Cookman, a Methodist minister, who gave money for the assembly of the first building. This school was the first HBCU founded by a brother who eventually merged his school with Sister Bethune’s school for girls, forming Bethune-Cookman. This doesn’t take anything away from her, but it gives a more balance perspective that there were plenty black men engaged in the struggle WITH her, not missing in action as you made it seem.
Ida B. Wells was married to a man named Ferdinand Lee Barnett, who was a heavyweight of the times his own self. The brother was a very prominent lawyer, and served 14 years as assistant state’s attorney under a Republican governor, and ran his own newspaper which he later sold to his wife. And this was way back in the day! Plus the brother was an avid supporter of racial justice since the late 1800’s. Again: black men were not missing in action. He simply didn’t have the platform of women’s rights that helped Ida gain more national and international attention. not taking anything away from the sister. She was a baaaad mamajama! This quote by her should be framed and hung on everybody’s wall at home:
“The lesson this teaches and which every Afro-American should ponder well, is that a Winchester rifle should have a place of honor in every black home, and it should be used for that protection which the law refuses to give. When the white man who is always the aggressor knows he runs as great a risk of biting the dust every time his Afro-American victim does, he will have greater respect for Afro-American life. The more the Afro-American yields and cringes and begs, the more he has to do so, the more he is insulted, outraged and lynched.”
Now what brother couldn’t marry a sister who thought like that?!
Finally we have Sis. Tubman. Not taking anything away from her, there were many men around during her era who were also ardent fighters for freedom. The most popular slave rebellions happened during her years, most notably: Denmark Vesey’s Uprising (1822), Nat Turner’s slave rebellion (1831), BlackSeminole Slave Rebellion (1835–1838), and the Amistad Seizure (1839). Plus keep in mind she was a contemporary of the most famous black spokesperson of that century: Fredrick Douglass. So she didn’t fill a gap brothers were afraid to fill, bad sister though she was: she worked alongside WITH brothers to secure freedom for our people.
I had to address that because you made it seem as if these sisters came to influence in the absence of black men willing to do the job, when clearly that was not the case. But that doesn’t take anything away from their strength as sisters; nor their God-given gifts. It just gives a more balanced perspective. 😉
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Ramses says:
November 3, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Peace @Mack and Deanne. Feedback was thought-provoking. Let me first address you Deanne and let me preface this by saying this is not a beat down session. but let me reference something you said in the following:
That being said, there are indeed many times when there is excellent Black male leadership that Black women nowadays will simply not support because of their own egos. I have witnessed Black men being torn down by strong Black women who used their strength in order to protect their own ego, position, and/or privilege, so there is a major problem that women are creating for themselves and everybody that has to be around them.
This is the heart of the matter. I bring scripture into discussions sometimes because it illuminates topics of discussion. However, when the Eve story comes up, most women tend to blame Man for Eve’s fatal decision. However, let’s tease that out. First and foremost, there was no reason for Adam to “protect” because they both felt protected in the garden because they never had any reason to fear outside of not touching the tree. However, whenever you talk about the fall, the first thing black females tend to do is place all the blame with Man saying he should have known better. However, once again let’s tease this out. If God created Woman, to be your companion or helpmeet and she brings you something to eat, would you seriously doubt her bringing something to nourish you with? Of course not because your God told you she was created from you and for your benefit. Now it’s my contention that this Eve being created from Adam is a metaphor for Men being in an environment where women look like women, in some cases at least, but “think” in the words of steve harvey like a man. Eve wanted power, let’s not forget that. Adam didn’t want it because if he did he would have taken it first. He was quite content living in harmony with eve. And this is the dilemma females face now. You allow yourselves to be duped into not having enough and then when you realize you’ve been duped, then you want to come back home like you’ve been loyal the whole time. This is not true. If you read the book the negro problem, which you can find online, it starts out with Booker T and even in the late 1800’s they were having problems with the females because of their drive to ultimately be corporate. I don’t know what’s worse: self-denial or naivete. Either way it’s detrimental in terms of the ability of black men and women forming relationships. Black women have turned into black men’s worse enemy because of their way of thinking. It’s that simple. Eve knew she was wrong and yet she still came to her Man and gave him something she knew was not good for him. That’s not the sign of a true companion. The Adam and Eve story is a metaphor for the black man and woman’s history from ancient times. You have cleopatra who san the egyptian empire, Hatsheput trying to look like a man, Xenobia who killed her husband (a black man who cared for her) to gain his power. That’s the art of womanhood you see. The art of womanhood is knowing how and who to delegate power to as a Man. You said it yourself, women do not want to give up this power (black women that is but american women in general) which is why they are more unsuccessful than successful in their relationships. You said because it threatens their ego and position. The black woman only has a position because of her master. And how can woman have ego when she lives in a world where she is dominated by men? A woman should never have ego or want power. Now she does and should have influence if she represents the sacred feminine principles. Outside of that she is unruly. You don’t hear Korean women say “I’m a strong korean woman.” Nor chinese or any other women. I hate the term because it implies weak black man. It’s not our fault that your mothers and grandmothers chose to abandon men generations ago and adopt feminism. But you can’t fault us for looking elsewhere in terms of quality women who represent the sacred feminine principle. Your entire school system was set-up by people who set out to destroy the sacred feminine however you didn’t have to fall for it. Some men like myself and Mack are conscious enough and read enough to know what happened and we don’t reject truth. Black women need to just own up to what you all did. You sold us out masking it under the preconceived notion that black men weren’t doing anything which to me disrespects Garvey, Malcolm, Khalid Muhammad, Malachi York, and other men who tried to protect you’ll. But these men were the weirdos. The “angry black men” as we’re called sometimes mocked. The ones who can’t get a job. Now there are countless people in this country without jobs and have degrees. No some of you are now feeling what it’s like to be a black man in this country. We sounded the bell. No one listened and everyone got screwed. Black women are weak and vulnerable just like any human. This proverbial shield you all wear is tired and played out and has gotten you nowhere except complete alienation from your men. I’d say that’s complete failure in terms of womanhood. They did a study saying that with all your jobs and income that the black woman’s net worth amounts to $5. You’ll sold your man out for 5 dollars? I mean you like to say that black women did it because someone had to step up to the plate. Really? My great grandfather was married for 50 years to his wife and he maintained outside the home and she did inside the home. You think there weren’t men like him around then as well? This is the biggest farce I’ve ever seen perpetrated on the minds of you sisters and you completely feel for it. My loyalty is not to race anymore but the human race because “race” is nothing but a construct. I need to see your cultural values. What kind of family you kind from. What do you stand for. It’s hard for me to affirm the strength in black women when I see nothing but weakness. 80% percent of your kids born out of wedlock is not strength. I know it’s hard to hear but it’s not strength. The notion of the single black woman is and was a ploy to subtly to suggest strength when in actuality it projects weakness because when an unmarried woman has a child, it automatically shows a lack of discipline. Your scripture will tell you this. 70-80% percent of black women being obese is not strength. I’ve had 55 year old black men, asking me, and I’m only 33, “do black women want to get married anymore” after hearing conversations from me and my brethren. The elders are asking the ones under them what’s wrong with black women. You need to stop looking at yourself as a “Black Woman” and instead of just as a woman because the race aspect complicates it because if you carry yourself in a respectable manner, then Men will come your way. When a woman sees Man as her partner, then she understands her role as it relates to man. However, if she sees him as threatening, then she only sees him as competition, which she could never compete with in the first place. There was time in this country where the world respected us Men over here cause they saw us fighting but feminism, along with the approval of black women effectively destroyed the black man for the most part. He’s weak, docile, malleable, compromising, unlike the Moor of old. Whne you all mentally castrated the black man you created your homosexual men, down low men, your abusive men, your stripper daughters, your homosexual daughters, and your corporate daughters as well as your welfare daughters. Black women for the most part hate black men, just look at the facts. This hatred goes back a long time. Like Noble Drew Ali said, this is an ancient hatred we’re dealing with as a people. When you see the destruction that’s staring black people in north america’s face, the culprit is the Woman. When civilization erodes you always look towards the mental condition of Woman. You build civilization through the womb but you also tear it down through the womb. I don’t see any notable black females (Oprah) criticizing the whore complex her fellow “sisters” are exhibiting. Hell Tyra Banks did more shows on the phenomenon of self-hate that permeates through the minds of black women but because she was a model she was only taken half seriously and she had more knowledge on the matter based on the industry she was apart of. However, when Bill Cosby criticized black women, he was villified!!!! Black females don’t get the bebefit of the doubt anymore because they have effectively destroyed their group in a much more subtle, and cunning way and it’s been through their screwed up education and their notions of superiority to the black man. I say all the time black women know how to respect men, she just chooses to respect white men that’s all. You don’t see black women going around just disrespecting white men in the manner they do black men and really to be honest it’s quite traitorous to see your men get beat down by his enemies, but instead of comforting him you join in on the beat down? And yet we’re supposed to be loyal? And then when we get a white woman (something black women really want to be but won’t admit it) because we just happened to meet her or hell I don’t care if a man specifically chooses her, then we’re in the wrong!!! I see why black women are by themselves because when you’e totally absorbed with you, then the best person to be with is you; just you. Or another woman just like you which is why you see a lot of them being gay now. The black man has been remade in the image of a black woman, probably the most negative force on this planet at the moment. And I never thought I would say that. I used to be pro-black as they came. From the carribean, to the US (haven’t really seen it from the black women in south america although i’m sure it’s there) to africa, there is a negative energy emanating from black women and even black women will say this about one another so it’s not like i’m pulling something out of thin air. Black women will get on tv and make a fool of themselves (jerry springer, maury povich, unreality tv shows, etc, etc) just to make a buck instead of joining hands with respectful brothers to create something of value: a family. Enough said
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Mack says:
November 3, 2012 at 9:03 am
@ Sis. Deann:
I’m officially calling you Sis because I love how you think. We don’t always agree on everything, and thats cool. As long as we keep it respectful I actually welcome the disagreement.
While I can’t speak for Ramses, from my perspective we’re not attacking the truly strong black women. Its those false-flagging sisters who pretend that rebellion against black men is being strong…those are the ones I will not tolerate. Not out of hating on anyone or trying to keep sisters down: simply because I see the destructive aftermath of that form of thinking.
Its been my experience that usually the ones claiming how strong they are be the ones who are actually the weakest. They use words like ‘strong, strength and diva’ to mask their inability to face the truth about why they can’t sustain and keep a meaningful relationship with a decent brother. They use excuses about black men not attending college or gaining an education, which is pure bull. Then they say all the brothers are running off after white women, which is more malarkey.
Truth is: brothers don’t get with these sisters because we’re not stupid: we can see the blatant problems that will only intensify if the relationship is pursued. Some go off and find happiness with women of another race. And more power to them. But those who desire to be with a black woman are practically forced into becoming serial daters or what many call ‘playas’ just to hopefully find the right one. Finding a good sister with her head on right less the drama and the baggage is like looking for a proverbial needle in a haystack.
These same ‘funk-faking’ strong sisters will be the first to look down and talk greasy about the truly strong queens who hold it down with their man, respect their office as a woman and the office of the black man, and wear humility and grace like a beautiful inner gown that adorns their spirits. But misery loves company, and just seeing a happy sister with a decent brother makes the haters angry, because its an indictment against their own failure to upgrade their thinking.
I still maintain that good, marriageable black women are hard to find because they don’t stay single for long. Soon as a brother spots one he quickly moves in and snatches her off the market. The rest simply need to see themselves from a man’s perspective if they want to be in a meaningful relationship; and do the inner work (and outer) needed to become wifeable too.
The problem seems to come in when a black MAN dares to articulate this. He immediately becomes public enemy number one. I guess that’s why many dudes simply pander to the sisters and tell them what they want to hear. But if sisters can’t hear the truth from us, how can they ever gain the fulfillment they seek in a relationship?
And with all due respect to the most High: Jesus ain’t gonna lay in bed with you and keep you warm at night…no matter how many times a week you call on Him! It takes a man here on Earth to do that. So flocking up in churches trying to make the pastor your defacto man isn’t gonna cut it.
This isn’t directed at you Sis; but there are a lot of women who think Jesus will just send them a man in the current jacked up state they’re in without doing the necessary inner work first to sustain a healthy relationship. Jesus is known for taking men OUT of hell, not sending men into it.
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Deeann D. Mathews says:
November 3, 2012 at 5:52 am
Between the article and the comments, there’s another article, and I only have a few minutes to deal with it…
About Michael Jordan and Yvette Prieto: they do deserve congratulations and even kudos. If they have been together a long time, and probably doing everything married couples do, it is good and right for them to make it official and just get married. Marriage is honorable — and 50 is hardly old and dried up. Many a 32-year-old would do well to marry an upstanding older brotha who has his life together, to say nothing of one with Jordan’s resources. My prayer is that their marriage will be based on more than his wallet, but I commend them both for doing the right thing so far as actually getting married.
Interracial relationship drama — I’m so tired of this topic. I personally believe that it is best to marry Black if you are Black — shared history is important, and it is not good to have children whose grandparents, if you will, have historically been at each other’s throats UNLESS you have thought that out and are prepared to help your children navigate the facts. On the other hand, if both parties are Black and have no sense of their own history and no respect for each other, that’s no good either. Think before you leap; that’s all I ask of any two humans. As for a Black man marrying another woman of any race or my own, that does not diminish me and my prospects. I know for certain: what God has for me will be mine, in His time. As many Black women as there are going to church, we ought to be able to trust God in that area and calm down. But, drama about IR reveals a lack of trust, and that is something that God cannot reward.
26 comments… no way to get to all the material. About college vs. education: Ramses is right. Anybody with a unstoppable will to learn WILL learn what they need to be successful, degree or not — the libraries plus the Internet plus various freestanding educational resources have made it possible to have what the great men and women of every generation have had: a self-directed education, fitted to meet the specific dreams and talents God has given every individual. Everything I know about business, commerce, corporations, and running a business I learned AFTER college. This is not to say college is completely irrelevant: I learned lots of things and made lots of connections in college I would not have learned elsewhere because I had no other way of knowing where to get the information or access to the people at the time. And I suspect that is true for a lot of people still. I still use the skills I learned, because I chose my majors based on what tools they would give me for uses beyond going to work and getting a job in the respective fields. God had tipped me off, to a point, to what was happening in the country; I knew I would eventually start my own business, and I knew what my inclinations were. But let’s be clear on one thing: while I got the job, the degree could not help me keep it. I graduated summa cum laude, all-university honors… and lasted 16 months before I was laid off. A degree is a piece of paper; if you are not ready for a fully self-directed education, go to college to get skills and make connections, not for the degree. Pick up a book called Campus CEO: The Student Entrepreneur’s Guide to Owning a Business and read it before you go… maybe you can pick up and use enough principles to break even on all those student loan debt… or even better. The brotha who wrote the book made $400,000 in college, using the same principles Ramses was sharing…
About women and higher education: I do not think the standard of 18-22 years of a fully secular education has done men or women any good in knowing how to fulfill their God-ordained roles. And I see the point of “God instructed Woman to be with Man before he told her to get a degree.” BUT, when I check Genesis, God brought the woman to the man, and left HIM some instructions — “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” — Genesis 1:24. As I have mentioned before in a comment, the passage is quoted in Mark and Ephesians, so the instruction was given three times. And for good reason, for apparently, Adam was not cleaving particularly close when the serpent slithered up… and I think that is one of the factors that must be considered along with the reasoning behind the Eve complex. Many of Eve’s daughters remember how their mother was left unprotected to face the serpent’s wiles, and how their father turned around and blamed the whole thing on Eve when God clearly asked ADAM what HE had done… in like manner, the failures of some of Adam’s sons must be considered in tandem with the failure of some of Eve’s daughters when considering what happens to women as they choose to interact with higher education and career opportunities.
Further on this same subject: God certainly ordained marriage before college, but then again, He ordained marriage before anything except day, night, the genetic patterns of all life, and the bounds of the ocean, the sky, and the land. I do not think God has a problem with women being as educated as they need to be to meet the conditions of their day. The Proverbs 31 woman may not have been able to go to Harvard, since there was no Harvard, but she clearly had picked up a lot about both “women’s stuff” — sewing, shopping for food, and gardening — but also about things that some men like to consider their unique domain. Not only does the Proverbs 31 woman work from home, she understands and engages in commerce and trade outside– “She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard,” says Proverbs 31:16. “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good,” says Proverbs 31:18, “and her candle goeth not out by night” — she works late, apparently, doing excellent work. All that would have required a first-class education for that agriculturally dominated day. There are, of course, two things to note:
1. Her husband feels no need to check up on what she is doing — he trusts her completely (Proverbs 31:11)
2. What she does, she does for the good of her husband and her family (Proverbs 31:12, 23, and 28).
We no longer live in an agricultural society; the Industrial Age is turning into the Information Age, and I do not think God is opposed to a woman preparing herself as much as she can to meet the conditions, particularly since she is going to be the first educator of her children. There is, however, something to be said about purpose. God will not bless anyone in self-centered pursuits; a woman who thinks only of doing things for herself in defiance of God’s will will be judged as surely as a man of the same mindset. No one is placed on this earth just to exist. For every man that is meant to be married (and the Bible shows that there are exceptions to that), God has a purpose for that man to serve in his time and community, and when the man understands he will not be able to fulfill that purpose alone, God will reveal to him his wife (per Genesis 2:20 to the close of the chapter). For every woman that is meant to be married (and again, the Bible shows that there are exceptions to that), God has a purpose for that woman to serve in her time and community, and when the woman understands she cannot fulfill that purpose alone, God will lead her to the man who is looking for his God-ordained complement and will find it in her.
One final note… I do get tired of hearing the “strong Black woman” getting put down. I wish you gentlemen would find another way of making your point, for attacking the “strong Black woman,” even in archetype, looks from my gender perspective very like it would look if you were trying to destroy a cliff face with your bare hands. I do see that there are a lot of weak women trying to ACT strong like a bunch of bullies; I do see that there are “extra-average” women doing and demanding too much; I get that you may be getting at that fact by attacking the archetype. But behind the archetype, there is a truth: Black women, in their maturity, are strong. You can as much change that as you can change the blackness of the night sky which holds up all the stars, and sometimes the attacks on the “strong Black woman” sound just about that strange to Black women who are aware, even dimly, of the reality of the strength to which they are heiresses. We are the daughters and mothers of a strong race, of strong men and strong women who survived the worst treatment the modern world has had to dish out. Strong Black women are here to stay, as they have been for thousands and thousands of years. Just ask your own grandmothers, and then ask Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, and Nzinga, along with Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells, and Mary McCleod-Bethune. The latter three stepped up in a time when there was no man to fill the particular gap that had to be filled in their area — again, occasionally Adam’s sons have not always done as they should in terms of leadership, very like their first father.
That being said, there are indeed many times when there is excellent Black male leadership that Black women nowadays will simply not support because of their own egos. I have witnessed Black men being torn down by strong Black women who used their strength in order to protect their own ego, position, and/or privilege, so there is a major problem that women are creating for themselves and everybody that has to be around them. But just as greater physical strength does not make a man a brute in itself, neither does the strength of the Black woman make her a problem for the Black man. The question in both cases is how the strength is used. Black women in general need to re-learn how to use the strength constructively, in concert with Black men in general, in support, once married, of their husbands, and in protection and proper nurturing of their children. This education is definitely lacking overall (and it will have to come from somewhere beside college). That point is well seen and taken. But to encourage the necessary change, it might be as well to affirm the strength before challenging the use.
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Ramses says:
November 2, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Peace @Mack. It’s funny. I said back in the day that black women of this generation don’t want to resolve issues, they want to win arguments. However, lawyers win arguments, but it doesn’t mean things are resolved. How many people walk away from court thinking they hate the outcome, even sides that win!!! However, I said that in order for black women to be saved, they are gonna have to let go of the archetype of the “STRONG BLACK WOMAN.” I Use the word archetype instead of stereotype for a specific reason. Webster’s 3rd example of the definition is the following:
an inherited idea or mode of thought in the psychology of C. G. Jung that is derived from the experience of the race and is present in the unconscious of the individual
Black people have this notion of “THE STRONG BLACK WOMAN” where she is like superman and woman combined. This is and has always been a false notion and they need to realize that the notion of feminism was built off this notion, which is nowhere to being true. The sad thing is they think love is based off of what they want to hear. Love is telling you what you don’t want to hear for your own good. While black women speak emotion on here we speak facts. It’s interesting though Mack because outside of you, when i go on my diatribes (lol) you’re the only one who consistently responds! You got so-called brothers (these weak cowards are no brothers of mine they will sel you out for a piece of booty in a minute) who say nothing which is worse than the bitter females because deep down they know it’s the truth but because they have allowed the notion of a real WOman to be reconfigured for them and they have accepted it, then they don’t say anything and therein lies the problem. I know I say the truth cause when you can say something to a black woman and it shuts her ass up, you know you’ve spoken truth as a brother. But at the end of the day she like most of her counterparts are suffering for the things they desired. They desired (sold their souls) for materialism showing their allegiance to Satan or whatever name you want to apply to this dark force. I never did it nor you Mack and why would we subject ourselves to females who clearly have no Allegiance to the Divine Architect off the Universe? I’m not into religions but the Law;there’s a difference. They go to church cause the church takes their money and tells them what they want to hear. Don’t that sound like pimpology? They literally and figuratively are being screwed through their purses and their legs as well. Most of them are like Steph: unwiling to hear truth.
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Mack says:
November 2, 2012 at 12:18 am
@ Ramses:
Bruh, you’re making all the sense in the world. Truth is though, women like Steph have a script that they keep to. Its easier for them to repeat the same mantra about the lack of good black men, because it keeps them from doing any real self-reflection. Sometimes the hardest person to look at is the one in the mirror.
Its the whole ‘Mirror mirror on the wall’ thing. As long as the mirror tells them what they want to hear…”you’re beautiful, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not fat you’re just thick, you don’t need a man because you’re educated, there’s no good black men left…” They’re cool with that.
But the minute someone comes along and gets the mirror to tell a different reality, suddenly theres a problem!
I actually pity the chick and those like her. Already in their 30’s and 40’s, with poisonous mindsets, destined to live as lonely old spinsters surrounded by little poodle dogs and cats. That’s a sad fall from the height sisters once occupied when they were proud to be wives, help meets and part of a parenting team. Remember back when sisters were such excellent mothers even white folks wanted them to raise their kids too? We called them nannies back then.
Now ask yourself: who in their right mind outside of black men who got caught up would allow a woman with a mindset like our beloved sister here to raise their children? Sisters use to be the queens they only now pretend to be. But that was several generations ago. Now they’ve been lied to and gassed up so much they can’t see reality for what it is.
But thank GOD there are some who have started to awaken. With these we can rebuild and grow strong once more. For those that refuse to change: nature has a way of weeding out their gene pool over the course of time.
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Mack says:
October 31, 2012 at 7:40 pm
The only thing a woman needs to attract a man is a vagina. Now whether she gets to keep a quality man is based on what else she has to bring to the table. If you’re attracting uneducated deadbeat black men, then you and your friends have some kind of unresolved self-worth issues as it relates to relationships. Black men aren’t the problem: YOU ARE.
Heres another reality check: The circle of people you seem to gravitate towards speak volumes about where you are emotionally and mentally. I never have a problem attracting quality sisters; including ones with advanced degrees. I’ve dated doctors, psychologists, a tv anchorwoman, accountants, etc. I’ve also dated strippers before and a hoodrat or two in my younger years. And I own up to it all. Wherever I was at mentally at that time in my life determined the type of women I dated.
That’s the adult way of dating. You have to own your decisions: both good and bad. Deflecting and placing blame on others for YOUR bad choices means you’re still operating at the level of adolescence when it comes to dating: hence why quality educated brothers are passing you by. And you can’t blame fat white women for that…
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Ramses says:
October 31, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Peace @Mack…once again your words echo things i say everyday….And let me be clear this is not to beat down on steph…however you need to listen and listen carefully. Yesterday I was watching footage of countless people on youtube, including white males and females lamenting how much their college degree meant nothing. Now. Just think about that. Caucasians in America are saying that for the most part, most of your college degrees don’t mean anything. While you are on here defending the college degree as saving black people, it’s not even saving white people!!! As a matter of fact, I saw a person burn their Harvard Law Degree on youtube!!! So your law degree from Howard might be looking a tad bit weak right about now. There are countless people on youtube, of different nationalities saying how fruitless the college degree is. If I knew what I knew now, I would have never went to college the route i went. In 2005, I was an english major thinking I would go to law school until i read an article by this white woman who cautioned students against thinking that going to law school was gonna lead them to a life like they saw on tv with lawyers hob-nobbing with celebrities and the like. She broke down the average salary and was showing ho major law firms were laying off people in their fields and i knew people who graduated from law school who could not find work and i decided that i would go the medical field route. You’re misleading in the things you say toward mack when you say that he doesn’t believe in education because it’s clear he does. However, he is just like I am. We are men who decided to establish our own curriculum. For example, there are times when I go to the library and spend the night there because I am researching tax code, trusts (something all people need to research), corporations, and a whole host of other things that focus on commerce and trade. Now, did I learn these things in college?. No. Matter fact, the one thing I have learned is that, I have learned more things out of college than in college. I read trust books that are 800, 900, 1000 plus page long. Through my research I have found a lot of these books online free. Why do I do it? Because if men in the 1800’s were willing to devote their pens to these books with these amount of pages in them, then their has to be something their hiding in these books. No man, when it comes to something like commerce and trade, will sit and right these many pages in a book and tell a lie. That’s waste of time. Now I’m reading this book called the complete guide to estate planning is. Do you know what this is? Estate planning is not just for planning how you will die (funeral arrangements, dispensing with property, etc) but also how you will enjoy life life while you live as well. Do you know that you should save 10% of what you make specifically for investment purposes? Do you do this? Do you have a business set up? I know I do. Mack does. Do you know what it takes to run a business in a profitable way? Do you know there are men (bluecollar men) who make more money than cats with college degrees. A white man on this link on youtube is advising people to look into the technical school route http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glzuTXLzUFs&feature=related. Why did you want to go to law school? Is it because someone told you like to argue alot, like a lot of black women? Most black women I’ve come across who have either gone to law school, or graduated said this was their primary reason for going!!! Lol. this is not a reason to go to law school. I’m not trying to mock you because I would gain nothing from this but just trying to enlighten you, just as mack is on the perils of your decision of going to undergrad and law school in terms of your debt load because make no mistake about, any man that marries you has to be willing to take on you debt load, which means, whether you like it or not, accept you with some baggage. But see how your baggage is made to look good, while black men and their baggage is made to look just awful How much debt are you in? I would assume maybe 100,000, not because I don’t think you were smart enough to get scholarships but schools are expensive these days and howard is private. That’s a lot of debt for someone to take on. It might not be in a black man’s best interest to marry you solely based on your debt load. But I would bet that you would have a problem with that if he said that this was his decision for not seeking you out. You would say he’s been overly judgmental even though you are doing the same thing when you say a man can’t complete a sentence articulately. Hell I’ve met women who weren’t articulat (black women i might add) who i didn’t judge this harshly. Who in the hell do you think you are? Are you making 6 figures? And even if you are, you still aren’t married. Have you been married? How old are you? If you’re over thirty as a woman and have never been married that would be a major concern of mine? If you are over thirty and have never been asked to be a married that would definitely be a major concern of mine. I have a marriage under my belt (6 years). And i was married at 22 and wanted to be since i was seventeen. I will tell you what your problem is: with all due respect. Your focus was wrong. I’m assuming by your comments that you are about 30-35. While you were so focused on attaining a degree, you were completely obliviously to Man. I tell women all the time, especially if you consider yourself Christian which I am assuming you are: God instructed Woman to be with Man before he told her to get a degree. This is universal for any woman in any ethnic group. However Women suffer from the Eve complex. When Eve decided to take the fruit which was symbolic of knowledge she made two pivotal mistakes. One, she disobeyed God. Number two she by definition defied Man as well. Because what was her reasoning for wanting the knowledge in the first place: she wanted to have the knowledge that God had which meant she wanted power over Man. Tell me this does not sound like Black women? Show me any other woman who does not attempt to have power over her men in the capacity that black women do. It never says that God would never have given Adam or Eve the knowledge, its just at that moment he told them not too cause the scripture does say later that his people suffer for a lack of knowledge so knowledge is a good thing, even for women, but only under a certain context. Knowledge for women right is not good because it emboldens them to rise up against their men based on their way of thinking. Remember Eve was created to be a companion for Adam solely. Not his competition but Companion. So as you sit here and debate Mack, i want you to really feel what I am saying to you sister. You have been tricked. You have been tricked into believing that your place is to go out here and get debt so you can go work for someone out your group nd in the process go into debt to do it. How many degrees do you need to know how to input info into a computer? You can learn microsoft office on your own through books you can buy at barnes and nobles. You know why black people are still slaves for the most part as a people? because of degrees. When Marcus Garvey and Booker T. Washington were telling black people to get trades Du Bois with his talented tenth sell out ass, working on behalf of rothchild agents, who helped set up the NAACP who had in their bylaws (read up on white bylaws are) that the NAACP couldn’t own property. Now think to yourself, have you ever seen a building that had NAACP on the front of it? No. Because they can’t. So if they can’t own a building, who gives them the money to operate out of the buildingss they operate out of? Who funds them at all? They tricked you. They tricked you into believing you didn’t need a Man, only a degree. But really you’re scared. Because if Mack an I are right, and we are, then you’re forced to look at your decisions you made in your life in terms of education and Man selection. It’s called cognitive dissonance. You’ve been told to believe something all your life and now you’re faced with information that’s diametrically opposed to what you’ve been conditioned to believe. My great-grandmother never got a law degree but she was well taken care of by her husband and raised a beautiful family. So the notion you need a degree to be successful is a false one. The question you need to ask yourself is: what’s your definition of success? This is not a beat down session @Steph. It really isn’t but you have no idea what you’re facing out here as a single black woman and your ethos (worldview) has you in a dilemma. Like Mack said, there are plenty college educated brothers out here comparable to sisters out here on that same level. Why aren’t these two people getting together? Because sisters have lost the notion of building and struggling with their men. White girls do it? You think white girls get with white men after they make the money? Hell no. Their sophomore you they already have Billy picked out to marry by the start of their junior year while sistas are acting stank just because they joined A.K.A.! Lol. I’ve seen chicks who would talk to me the semester before but after they crossed would look at me like they never knew me and I’m not an ugly dude either. And most of the times these chicks weren’t even all that!!!! But alot of them find themselves in the same predicament as you: Manless and bitter when it’s really their fault. Why can the same black man you deal with and have problems with can go to any race of women in the world and be happy? You think all of these women are wrong and you’re right? Come on now be reasonable @Steph. If black women did to other men in other groups what they do to us here you think you all will find men who would want to be with you all? They would find most of you in a hospital somewhere. That’s real. The reason why black women have this independence thing is because most of this generation of women come from single parent homes in which alot of their mothers were not wise in their actions in terms of conceiving children, chose to depend on welfare generationally, and now when you have deprived Men of being in the home, you give your daughters the impression that you can’t depend on men when the reality is alot of mothers opted out (key word opted weren’t forced out) of the traditional familial set-up. Have you noticed how the elite families are all and come from marriage? From the Kennedy’s to the Clintons, Rockerfellers, etc. But they pass laws and public policies that make you believe you it’s ok to be a single woman! That is a path to whoredom. I’m not mad at them because the only way for them to stay on top and remain elite families is to keep you under their rule. I’m more upset for you buying and when I say you (I mean black women in general) not you @Steph personally. Tske a look at this book if you don’t believe me. I didn’t make it up either http://www.4shared.com/office/4Vj0Sihk/the_tavistock_institute_for_hu.html
It’s a pdf book detailing the lengths in which they went to completely remake the notion of Woman from her traditional image, virginesque, into the whore you see now in your rihannas and beyonces, and lady gagas. While black men fought for you you’ll turned your backs on us showing how disloyal you’ll were. It’s time you all take responsibility.
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Steph says:
October 31, 2012 at 1:57 pm
You seem to focus on me only but I am telling also what is happening with my sisters (who have everything to attract any men but the men of our community do not value them, they prefer to date obese White women who are uneducated just because they are White, a big inferiority complex!!!) that you choose to ignore and how other people from other communities perceive Black males. Tooooo many of them seem to choose the easiest road. And you are right, I should not spend my time arguing with someone who feels that education is not a good investment! I won’t spend my time to read your future comments. Goodbye!
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Mack says:
October 31, 2012 at 10:15 am
Steph: Let me shut your sad argument down real quick:
As of 2008 there were 2,500,000 black students in college.
919,000 were BLACK MALES. http://martinricard.com/blog/2010/01/14/more-black-men-in-jail-or-college-an-old-fact-revisited/
Conversely, there are 827,000 black men in prison. This also dispels the myth that there are more black men in prison than in college.
This is hardly the 70/30 statistic you tried to convince the readers of this article of. And given that there are numerically more black females than males, the numbers are about even for college education between the sexes.
So what was that you were saying about black men being lazy and not having ambition, waiting for black women to get college degrees to take care of them? That sounds like YOUR personal dating experience. You seem to attract the uneducated dusty brothers; because clearly the stats say there are plenty of black men with degrees for you to get with. 919,000 to be exact!
STEP YOUR GAME UP SISTER! Plain and simple. The educated brothers are clearly there, all around you. You’re either blind, incapable of attracting one or simply full of dooky. I’m leaning more towards #2.
As for me: college was an option I didn’t have to choose. I’ve always had hustle skills and simply put them to good use. My experience. Not telling anyone else what to do with their lives.
But I know at the end of the day these stats mean nothing to you. You already have your fantasy you choose to live in. Plus you seem to have an axe to grind with me personally. Either that or I intrigue you…
Its ok. You wouldn’t be the first. 😉
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Steph says:
October 31, 2012 at 9:32 am
In addition, Mack you seem to be blind and you refuse to admit the gap between Black men and Black women getting degrees at every level include the PhD. Again the numbers are there everywhere: http://mjperry.blogspot.ca/2009/12/black-women-outnumer-black-men-21-for.html. People outside our community feel that too many Black men are not responsible and do not take life seriously. All my Black female friends tried to find a good one in my community but couldn’t so, they found someone outside of it. As long as we will refuse to admit that there is a problem the status quo will remain.
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Steph says:
October 31, 2012 at 9:17 am
The world can be cruel to someone who does not have a degree especially toward Black people. You seem to believe that education is not a good investment. This is really dumb! I hope that young people are not listening to you Mack! Everybody knows that we are at the information age!
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Mack says:
October 31, 2012 at 12:43 am
I didn’t get a university diploma because I don’t need one. Plain and simple. Though I hardly call four years of trade apprenticeship a walk in the park.
As for Morehouse: its an excellent example because it dispels your myth that black men don’t take education seriously. You also chose to only focus on one school: Howard. What about the other HBCU’s out there? Have you checked the ratio of male to female students? Not to mention the traditional colleges with a mixed student population.
As for getting with an educated Asian: good luck with that quest. You obviously don’t know how Asian men view black women. Google Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa for more clarification.
I respect your interest in higher learning. You just seem a bit closed minded about what constitutes genuinely being educated. But to each his/her own.
College in America is a racket. Sort of like a necessary evil. Why else are you forced to take classes that have nothing to do with your major, on subjects you will never use in the real world? And depending on what your field of study is, a person who went through a certification program can get the same job at the fraction of the cost as someone who spent a house on getting a bachelors or master’s degree.
But again: to each his own. We’ll most likely never agree on this one.
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Steph says:
October 30, 2012 at 10:08 pm
I think it is sad Mack that your excuse to not get a University diploma is because of the debt. I have many degrees and I don’t have to take lessons from you. I am very proud of my education and I am self-taught for life because education is not a destiny but a journey. My mistake probably was not being open enough to date man from other races who take education more seriously: Asians, etc. So, I guess that I will have to become more open minded seeing that too many brothers do not take education seriously. The numbers speak for themselves. Good for you, if you are an entrepreneur. This is what I am doing right now because I realised that our community has been brainwashed to work for others and we are financially illiterates. I am doing the best I can to catch up on that and I am totally confident that I will succeed. About Morehouse, it is not a good example that you are giving because it is a college for men so of oourse they will be among the majority like Spellman for women.
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Mack says:
October 30, 2012 at 7:42 pm
@ Steph
See, and here’s another major disconnect between many sisters and brothers: you don’t even understand what a true education is! Hanging that diploma on your wall does not make you educated my sister. It only makes you fit to work for someone else in their business, plus it makes you deeply in debt..
So what if only 3 out of 10 students at Howard are male? 9 out of 10 students at Morehouse College are black men! Thats a 90% enrollment rate! So your point is what by saying that? You’re trying to make it seem that brothers aren’t being educated, which is a blatant lie.
Now if these educated brothers aren’t getting at you, but the illiterate sorry dudes are, you have to ask yourself why? Why do you attract more sorry dudes than educated progressive black men? Self reflection is a hard thing to do indeed.
Every male in my family went to college except for me. We got doctors, lawyers, politicians, engineers. And every single one of them will spend the next 10 years or longer paying off student loans. But not me. I saw the higher education racket for what it was: a racket. So I went straight into a trade then into business for myself. I devoured books and self-educated. Something I highly advise you to do also. Now I hire people with ‘higher’ education and pay their salaries and insurance costs as they work for me: an articulate business owner who never stepped foot on a college campus except to use their library facilities.
I don’t knock college. But neither do I put all my trust and hope in it the way you do. Actual skill trumps book knowledge any day of the week. Stop trusting that mid-education and get the real deal babe.
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Steph says:
October 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm
For the third time, I am asking why there are hardly 30% of male students in Howard. Black women are sick and tired to meet men in our community who refuse to educate themselves. Today, I received an e-mail from a brother who is interested in me. He can’t even write five sentences without mistakes. This is unacceptable and I saw this too many times. Again, it seems that too many of our brothers decided to do nothing with their lives because they expect us to take care of all their needs!!! I don’t call these brothers men but boys!
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Mack says:
October 30, 2012 at 2:01 pm
@ Steph:
I don’t have a problem with black women: just the sick ones who need medicine. And honesty is the best medicine for these lost souls right now. The rest I’m not even talking to because they already get it.
Though I feel your frustration, and agree to some degree: we already know how jacked up the brothers are. Haven’t we had 25 years of hearing about how messed up, tied up and tangled up black men are? Just turn on the evening news in any city across America and you’ll see that.
The type of brothers you’re describing who seem to forsake their kids make up two categories of brothers: dusty-ass niggas and brothers who tried to be with their children but bitter gate-keeper mothers made it damn near impossible for him to do so.
Dusty niggas: sisters should value their vaginas and wombs more and show some wisdom with who they choose to lay up with. Why do so many of you lay up with dustyass niggas? Step your dating game up to a higher level, and stop being intimidated by brothers who DO actually have themselves together. That alone could help us create a new nation.
As for fathers dealing with bitter moms: its sad but true that many sisters use the court system and a man’s kids as a way to hurt that man when the relationship goes sour. Rarely is the child’s best interest taken under consideration. I know more dudes who WANT to be involved in their kids lives but find it damn near impossible because of the mom. Their hearts are broken, but they feel powerless when faced with Child support court that backs a bitter woman with all the power to make that man’s life a living hell.
Many sisters wonder why their own father wasn’t around growing up. I can guarantee you he most likely falls in one of these categories. And if your mother told you the truth, which she probably won’t, you’ll understand why he wasn’t there more. A hard but bitter truth.
But we rarely ever hear black women being criticized for THEIR misgivings. And when someone does, females like yourself and the nutless men who agree try to shut him down.
You need to hear honest voices who are willing to tell you where you are messing up at: because truth be told, black women seem to think they are beyond criticism and perfect just as they are. Even though reality is biting you hard in the ass right now. Not all sisters, just those who seem blind and lost.
Being honest and willing to talk about the unpopular things is called LOVE sister. I know black women aren’t used to hearing or receiving love from a man’s perspective, but its not always warm and fuzzy like feminine love is. But its real just the same. And I don’t apologize for taking my stance.
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Steph says:
October 30, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Mack,
You seem to have a serious problem with Black women. It is obvious that you don’t value them with what you wrote. You still didn’t tell us why only about 30% of brothers are at Howard, why there are much more gigolos out there than ever before. Men from previous generations were more proud to take their responsibilities and take care of their families. It is unacceptable that Black men more than any other group in America are not there for their children. I speak to these children boys and girls. They have tears in their eyes because their fathers are not there for them. Do you think that they deserve that? You call this love! I even heard a brother say that there are irresponsible Black men who prefer to give their money to White strippers in clubs instead of giving this money to their former single wives who are struggling alone to take care not of her children but their children. But it seems that for too many Black men these children are not theirs but belong to the mothers only. I hope that the story about the strippers is a lie because if it is true, it is really disgusting and it shows your inferiority complex!!! You can’t always blame the female gender, you have also your responsibilities!!! As I wrote, we are not looking for men who want a mother or a babysitter. My friend who criticised his brother-in-law wants the best for his sister. It seems that you don’t think that Black women should have the best also. This is really weird!!!
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Mack says:
October 30, 2012 at 1:01 pm
@ Steph:
I’m sorry sister, but an actor is hardly a stable or even a realistic ambitious job for any man to have: unless he’s Denzel or something. That has to be one of the most unstable fields of work out there.
And I agree with you on this: you should seek men who have it together and have it going on. And there are tons of brothers out there doing just that. And they ain’t actors. They’re the real deal: buying homes, working genuine decent paying jobs, taking care of business.
The problem is not a lack of them: its a lack of sisters with enough wisdom to catch these brothers out the gate. These are the men who usually get passed up by the girls in college who want to get their party on with the Q’s and Sigmas. Then when these brothers hit their stride in the work world, the same sisters who are now flappy in the vulva area expect these brothers to back track and get with them.
Too late. The white or hispanic or Asian chick already recognized what you couldn’t. So they get him first, if another sister with her priorities in order doesn’t snatch him up.
This does not apply to all sisters. There are a few…and I mean a dwindling few…who actually have their heads and priorities together to be able to build a future with. But they are as rare these days as spotting Bigfoot…
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Mack says:
October 30, 2012 at 12:50 pm
@ Ramses
Its called hate homie. Pure and simple. Too many sisters want to pretend that theres a huge market of men from other races out there waiting to snatch them away from ‘lackluster lazy brothers’…but nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is that black American women have become Frankensistas…a term I just came up with.
They are basically a social experiment created by social scientists in some think tank of a lab; using the urban environment as their petri dish and black women as the test subjects. The goal was to create a generation of black women who would abandon their traditional God-ordained roles as mothers, wives and nurturers. And instead become masculine in damn near every way. Hence why you have so many black women who think its perfectly ok to jump in a man’s face, spit on him or hit him without any repercussions.
But when it comes to brothers, many of us have decided to wake up and get on the ball. We’re the ones forsaking the hood, getting higher education, starting businesses, flipping illegal hustles into legitimate ones, and coming into our own. And we ain’t falling for the banana in the tailpipe either. We won’t settle down with a woman just because she’s black, even though she has no idea how to honor our masculinity.
The sisters who get it, they’re the ones you see happily married to brothers or men of another race. More power and blessings to them. The ones who don’t get it are the angry, despicable, self-hating, black man disrespecting miserable, self-deceived spinsters they’ve chosen to become. I actually pity them.
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Steph says:
October 30, 2012 at 11:50 am
I could add that a friend of mine, a male criticised his brother-in-law who didn’t work for 12 years!!! It is only recently he found work. My friend felt his sister deserves much better and he is right!!! This is happening too often in our community and this is unacceptable!!! Black women have every right to ask for more, we don’t want men who are looking for mothers or babysitters!!!
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Steph says:
October 30, 2012 at 11:03 am
There are many things which bother me regarding men of all races. I am a very ambitious woman (who finished high school at 16 and it could have been at 15 if my parents accepted that I skip another year, I have a law degree among others) and I have every right to want to be with an ambitious man. So, I always have been attracted to a man who is doing something with substance with his life: an actor, etc. However, I feel that there are much less ambitious men now compared to decades ago. I don’t know what happened. It didn’t exist before men who were gigolos like now or who are expecting to have money from women like Halle Berry’s French Canadian ex. I have 0 respect for these men. Sometimes, honestly I am wondering especially among Black men if they expect us to do all the work (go to Universities, etc.) to be taken care of after. It is not normal that now at Howard for instance, hardly 30% of students are males. What’s up with that???
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Ramses says:
October 30, 2012 at 1:06 am
Damn reading the article i thought it was written by a woman…wow you have men who are more women than the women themselves….damn when a brother chooses to be happy, and he ends up not choosing to be happy with a black woman, why do people get so offended? Damn do black women know how to be happy? I mean unbelievable. I don’t give damn if he did it to rub black women’s nose in it…who cares he’s not required to make a black woman happy. That’s her job. Contrary to popular belief sistas it does take more than booty to keep men interested. I’m a man and I don’t even want empty sex. This dude sounds like a woman lamenting that she didn’t get the baller in the club. How is this man’s relationship with a Cubana relevant to the black woman’s so-called plight? As a “collective”, if you can call black people that, we have issues but when it comes to personal relationships, you have to be your own advertising. You can’t outsource that responsibility because you have creative control on what type of person you want to be. If you’re a butthole, then you won’t get anyone’s advertising dollars (time) being that time is money. A woman is supposed to make a man feel alive..why you think 80 year old men have 18 year old women around them, even if they can’t have sex with them/ Because of the vitality they bring. If a woman can’t do that, then she can’t call herself a woman. People are mocking him for being with someone younger as if he’ supposed to go out her and be with these bitter black hags? I’m 33 and the women my age i can’t stand them they act like they are about twelve. And she’s still a woman… sounds as if he’s a pedophile or something just because she’s 16 years younger
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Ramses says:
October 30, 2012 at 12:49 am
Cosign everything you said @mack. First off, and most importantly, this is his and his Cuban fiance’s business. If you females tended to your own personal matters, and spent less time focusing on what celebrities are doing, then maybe you would have better chances at success. However, you don’t do this and here’s the crux of the matter: Michael jordan’s wealthy. The reason why black females have a problem with this is because the brother has wealth and status. Which is odd because everytime you turn around, you hear how independent black females are. If he didn’t have the wealth, nor the status, how many females would comment about him getting with this cuban lady. None. I get sick and tired of black females trying to hide behind the facade that they cherish black men because if you really did, you wouldn’t have the hard times you do now. Now I do leave room for those who support brothers who turn out to be straight up buttholes, however, once again this happens on both sides of the aisle and as a man I can tell you black women and their obnoxious ways turn brothers off to the point where we don’t even want to approach them…that’s new territory. There was a time where black men had extreme loyalty to black women to the point that we wouldn’t date or mary other women hoping we could find the right sister and passed up some good chances on having fulfilling, committed relationships, with other groups (only one race and that’s human) of women. I remember years ago I was seeing a Puerto Rican and she was everything i wanted in a woman but because I was trying to be faithful to sisters and their needs of having good men, I chose not to be with the girl and the next dude after me she married and years later she told me I was the best Man she ever had, including her husband!!! I never had a black woman be willing to exalt me in that manner. When i dealt with this sister she tried to compare brothers with white boys and how they are gentlemen and open doors and all that as if brothers never do stuff like that. I said “do you know how many times I’ve opened doors for sisters and they refused to have the decency to say thank you?” I said a white boy’s existence and mine are too different ones and if you can’t see that, you are in a twilight zone for real…Yeah Halle Berry got with the white boy but did it really work out like she planned. With all that hoopla she still ended up being a baby mama. Erykah badu with all those deep records still ended up being a baby mama. With all those soulful songs, jill scott ended up a baby mama. I remember years ago a black woman read a poem on V-103 in Atlanta on Joyce Latell’s radio show apologizing to black men not only for herself but on behalf on all sistas who were not mature enough to recognize good men when they came along. And @Steph, I’m glad you met someone who made you feel that and as a Man, I don’t hate on romance between anyone regardless of the group they come from. However, how many sistas don’t experience romance just because they reject men strictly from an economic perspective? How can one experience it if you’re not willing to give a Man a chance to show you based off of money. Noticed how you said an actor as the one who said these things to you. Would these same words mean the same to you if they came from a garbage man? A brother between jobs? Whether you want to or not, you have to take into account the global shift in economies, which is putting a strain on all aspects of people’s lives in this country including relationships. Are black women concerned enough to even think about that factor when it comes to their selection? Cause I do recall plenty of brothers who take into account black women’s condition (kids with other men) when they choose to be with them and raise these kids as their own (Shaquille O’Neal is an example of this and he took on his ex-wife’s kids as well). Does a man have to be Michael Jordan for you to care if he’s dealing with someone outside your group? Black women spend billions of dollars on beauty, yet spend no time focusing on the inner portion of themselves which is the most important. If you’ve developed the reputation for being unapproachable, then it’s only gonna work against you. Men seek so if you destroy men and their drive to want to pursue you, then it’s something you need to work on. I say all the time “women need to make men feel like losing them would be like losing the world.” I watched Othello the other day and this brother’s heart was torn just from the notion his woman was sleeping with someone else. Black women need to learn how to be happy first and celebrate when other people are happy. The only things that should have been concerning Michael Jordan being engaged is congratulations. What transpired between he and his ex-wife is their business and they have moved so why are outsiders hooked on what happened between them during their private marriage. Marriage is private, not public. For this chick to throw up the fact that his dad was murdered by black men as if there wasn’t a white boy involved as well and as if that really makes any difference to the argument is ludicrous. How does Micahel Jordan getting married to a Cuban relate to his dad being murdered? The problem is is that black women, for a long time, have been the apple of black men’s eye, but in recent times have lost that luster. It is very painful, no matter how hard sistas wanna front, to concede that. Jill Scott said that when she sees a brother with anyone else, but most notably a white woman, she feels a pinch. This is what sistas are feeling: that pinch inside. Now that men are beginning to recognize their worth, they are not placing their loyalties with black women strictly on racial lines anymore. And black men are not running to white women’s arms like people think they are. Black men are going to Thailand, Indonesia, Japan, Brazil, Philipines, S. Korea, India, Colombia, Panama, Peru, and countless other places to find happiness. So to reduce this phenomenon down to brothers being color struck by white women is totally missing the point and when you talk about south america, don’t even get me started because those women have shapes and looks down there that will quite frankly make women over here look retarded. My friend’s homie who works for delta used to visit other places so much that he eventually settled down in Thailand with his woman and vowed to never come back to the states. Black men are looking for peace and families, while sistas are looking for drama and careers. Priorities are screwed. What job is more important to a woman than being a mother and a wife? If any woman think there is one, then she’s truly lost. Black men don’t hate black women, they just have grown to hate what black women have become. And just like men throughout time have always done, they are starting to go to other lands looking for better resources. WHo wants to deal with a group of women who are thinking before they marry you what they will take if they divorce you? I’d rather go to south america, get me a virgin young woman with dirt on her feet but knows how to maintain a home, rather than a “Modern” woman who has book knowledge but not even the common sense to know how to treat a Man in her twenties, thirties, and forties. Women in America are not taught to revere men, they are taught to compete with them, a folly if I ever heard one. The truth is is that most of you females are not marriage material….hell I’m from the states and my ex-wife was Haitian and I wanted to be married since I was 17 and i’m 33 now. What were you women doing from 18-24? I got married at 22. Wasn’t going to the clubs but was in school trying to move up. Chicks were in the clubs more than church as they are now. Now you get my age and now all of a sudden you want marriage? Nah. The Most High will not set men up for that fall. Sexting pics of your body parts to different men, or of their genitalia to your friends like its cute. Yet you wonder why you’re not married. I mean black women the only women who have to have a panel discussion as to why they are not getting married. With Steve Harvey. And let’s not forget, black women have been seeing white men a whole lot longer than the other way around. So get off this false notion that black women have just been so loyal and faithful to the black man and his struggle because even though the caucasian has whipped on every group of people on this planet, I don’t see their women doing to their men what black women do to theirs so don’t use slavery as an excuse to dog out your men. I know black women who say that when black women see them being respectful to black men in a reverential way, they say things like “you don’t have to do that for him, or he ain’t all that, or i wouldn’t be going through all that justto please him, etc…” and sometimes say these sistas are acting white just because they show their men the utmost treatment. Stpo looking for a baller (daddy) and look for a man to build with. You think you’re more than what you deserve. You got chicks on section-8 who ask dudes for gucci!! Brawd are you swrious. That’s not even your lane. Crawl before you walk.
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Mack says:
October 29, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Lets break down this whole “Why do black athletes marry outside their race” thing.
Professional athletes live in a world of high income and big dollars. Just like sisters typically claim they can’t find a brother on their financial level, many of these high income brother can’t find a sister on their financial level. Nobody has a problem when sisters refuse to date or marry down; so don’t get mad when the brothers do it.
We’ve all seen what happens when brothers do marry the average sister with maybe a college degree: just look at what Shaq is going through right now Shaunie. Infact, take a gander at the entire lineup of basketball wives and RHOfAtlanta. Just about all them chicks are some athlete’s ex jumpoff or baby mama. And look at how sisters put their business all over the internet. So black women have themselves to blame for that.
In other words, when brothers do try to “keep it real” by marrying black women, he ends up in divorce court when his career is on the downward spiral, and the bankruptcy court shortly thereafter.
A lot of sisters don’t want to do the work necessary to step their mentality to a higher level that would enable them to meet and marry a high income earning brother. Going down to NBA All Star Weekend hoping to catch Dwayne Wade’s eye with your skin tight hoochie dress does not qualify for marriage to a baller.
Most brothers who date outside their race are only looking for one main thing: peace. Not a fight with someone holding on to unresolved anger issues, being disrespected, dealing with Shaquita and her friends from the hood all up in his business. Not dealing with someone constantly ready to run to the white man or the local radio station on him just to hem him and his career up when she becomes disgruntled. (Shout out to Eve and Chad)
The man just wants peace with his lady. No ‘daddy didn’t hug me enough’ drama. No multiple kids by different dudes. Just peace.
When Halle got with the white dude she has a kid by, sisters were silent as church mice. When Serena was dating the white movie producer dude, again: chirp chirp from the sisters. Oprah did entire shows about sisters dating outside their race; and you ladies completely cosigned on it for the most part. The only issue you have about dating outside the race is when black men do it.
And we don’t do it out of an innate love for white skin. We do it to finally know what it feels like to deal with a woman who knows how to respect our manhood. Sorry sisters, but you have failed miserably on this lately.
Stop the hate, step it up sisters, and you too might snatch yourself a baller someday. At the very least you could get a decent man.
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Steph says:
October 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm
I love these words of Dr. Watkins: Given the track record of so many black male professional athletes, most “sistuhs” are getting used to seeing black male athletes pass them right up when it’s time to walk down the aisle. To be honest, if I were a black woman, I’d find this trend to be a bit insulting – I’m not sure which pro athlete held the meeting to decide that black women were not as pretty as women of other backgrounds. Because he tells it like it is. Recently, a White actor that I met sent me one of the most romantic e-mails that I ever had. He puts me on a pedestal. I read over and over the e-mail. It makes me sad that a brother cannot open his heart like this and share his feelings. Time will tell if I will decide to date this actor because it has already been too long that I am waiting for my Black prince to come.
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sally says:
May 10, 2012 at 2:15 am
Get your facts right there was no prenump in Michael’s first marriage!
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iballin says:
January 3, 2012 at 12:02 am
Mike knows exactly what he is doing!It’s his right to be with whom ever he chooses without explanation or apology.Black women need to chill out! It’s only one man’s preference!
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Blackatoosh says:
January 2, 2012 at 4:36 pm
you have some sistaz full of attitude,a brotha don’t want to hear that.
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monw says:
January 1, 2012 at 3:07 am
“Mike gave his best years (and nearly all of his money) to a black woman, so he can’t be accused of ignoring black women entirely.”
Look, jackass, Michael cheated on the very Black woman who gave him 3 beautiful chicldren and support for more than a decade for some nasty ghost prostitute. So save the crap about how he gave his best years to any Black woman. If anything he should hate Black MEN since it was a Black male who killed his daddy. But of course, the blame always is on Black women for all of the Black “man”s problems. Ridiculous
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