Relationship Issue – Money…

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(ThyBlackMan.com) According to a study by Redbook and Smart Money magazine, 70% of couples talk about money at least once every week. Money has not been seen as a commodity according to Donna Laikind, a marriage and family therapist and a counselor on money problems among couples. Respondents said that they usually argue about debt or how the money is spent.  They are concerned about saving for retirement, loaning money to the kids and taking risks with investments. It is also common  among relationships for one partner to be a “saver” while the other is a “spender”.  This is where the conflict will arise.

Here are some ways to deal with financial issues:

  • Sit down with your partner and talk about your financial goals. Sometimes it may seem very obvious but it is still an important thing to talk about. Differences in how you each want to use your money are possible so this has to be made clear to both parties.  It may be fun to plan a ‘money’ date!  Yes!  If you plan it well, you can make it romantic by realizing that talking about household finances and sharing future goals can contribute to your financial well-being.  Thus your relationship becomes stronger and more relaxed.

 

  • Make an organized budget plan for your expenses and income. Try to check and see how the money has been spent and know how much you paid for the grocery or how many times you bought Starbuck’s Coffee.

 

  • Discuss how you will handle your bills every month. You may want to split the bills or have one person pay for the other.  Try to leave your emotions out of your discussions and do not let them get the best of you.

 

  • Find a way to spend according to your needs. One of you may want to spend more liberally; the other may prefer to be frugal. You need to find a way to take advantage of your strengths (being frugal) and minimize your weaknesses (spending liberally). We all need to play at times. Make sure to set aside 5-10% of your money for leisure and fun. “All work and no play make a relationship dull”. 

One of the most important factors in financial well-being for couples is to determine how much money each of you needs and sticking to that agreed upon amount.  You don’t want to have to ask for an additional allowance or have to explain how much you have spent because you no longer have sufficient funds.

The bottom line is that you have to take money issues seriously and as a couple be aware that financial issues can wreck a relationship.  Talk about it before you get married and during your marriage.  Initiate the conversation in an honest and open way and don’t allow money secrets and lies get in the way of your healthy marriage or relationship.

Head Writer; Thomas Jones, Jr.