(ThyBlackMan.com) Only in the African-American family of today in America is it the norm that every family member is doing their own thing. That is not good, not at all. It is a sign of division. It is a reflection of a lack of understanding that the family should be united by purpose and vision as shared by the balanced, honorable and focused head of the family – the man with identity and purpose. And that is why a weak man without vision, a female single-parent household or a home with two women or two men is so devastating to the culture and success of the “black” family. It is a by-product of slavery and slave-minded thinking that causes our people to believe they should “go for self” instead of being loyal to the family.
SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH EVERY AFRICAN-AMERICAN YOU KNOW
Anything with more than one head is a monster. And when there are two visions at play in one household, there is di-vision or division. Then what happens? Both visions compete against each other and suffer, even sometimes to the point where di-vision means both visions die.
In large part, division is why we don’t even own the gas stations, hair stores, grocery stores, banks or malls where we shop. It is why most African-Americans are consumers instead of investors. And money flows from the pockets of our people to the Asians, the Africans, the Caucasians, the Hispanic and Arab people who come into the African-American community to get it but seldom spend any of it here.
Gangs promote a family unit that demands loyalty, unity and sacrifice. And ironically, the desire for the elements of family are why gang activity and recruitment is surging. The mob promoted the same, the “family” above all else. African tribes and even the original indigenous people of this land realized this truth as well. The British royal family is in an uproar because the prince and his wife want to break from the family, the duties and responsibilities that come with being a part of that family. Every American president has a bloodline that has been traced back to other prominent families. Yes families – the very relationship that has been broken and all but destroyed in the “black” community. And both bloodlines and ancestry involve passing on both genealogy and purpose.
The wife, mother and children should never distance themselves from the vision of the household as set forth through the head of that household!
Black Wall Street had the right idea, boy did they ever. But notice that no black community has been able to reproduce what they accomplished – not even wealthy Harlem. And do you know why? Because the “go for self” and the “do your own thing” mindsets have crippled the black community.
The Hispanics have come here and gone right past the African-American community like a rocket. Do you know why? Because they stick together. Because their families are about family and the prosperity of the family. Even the African men from various tribes have their wives and children involved in their businesses when they come to this country. Does this mean in all cases? No, but in many more cases than in the black community. It means all hands on deck. It means everybody is needed to make the business work. So don’t accept the damages of the black family as the norm.
UNTIL YOU CONTROL YOUR ECONOMICS, YOU CONTROL NOTHING! AND YOU DON’T CONTROL YOUR MONEY BY WORKING FOR SOMEBODY ELSE
Every culture strong in identity and unity has the wife as her husband’s help meet or help mate and all roles in the household are clearly defined. The wife is to help, not lead – and not do her own thing. But help in or with what? In whatever is necessary, whenever necessary, as often as necessary. And once the children see this example, they fall in place then later reproduce the blueprint in their own families – if they are smart. The success of the family is the duty and responsibility of every single member.
Remember Eve was to help Adam in the duties God had given him, not to go off and do her own thing. This is clear in the teachings of Islam, Judaism, Christianity and Catholicism. But today in America, and in the black community in particular, women are told they don’t need men. Women are given more rights in the courts than men, a violation of the United States Constitution. And women’s “man-hating” feminist groups camouflaging as women’s right groups have poisoned the minds of women regarding the clearly defined roles that have worked in the family since the beginning.
Yes BEHIND every good man is a good woman because her position denotes that she has his back, not that she is second class or a servant.
The vision and direction for the family must come from and through the head of the household or the household is out of order. And culturally, practically and spiritually the husband/father must be the head of that household. When the household is out of order, stability decreases, the children lack balance and statistically they become more susceptible to all sorts of delinquencies and disadvantages. There is a reason the family model has worked since the beginning and the evolution of the family model into something warped and distorted has caused problems, particularly in the African-American family. Therefore it is time for African-Americans to wake up and realize the strength of our culture, our people and our identity is heavily based on strong families that function as the family was designed to function. Not whatever way each person wants to do his or her own thing.
Family is about family, not about self. That means family time, family unity, family purpose, family focus and yes family goals administered through the hierarchy that was intended from the beginning. And it is morally, spiritually and economically disadvantageous when we fail to realize that. So finally, for those of you following broken, warped, perverted and distorted models, I have to ask who are you to tamper with infect and change the focus, unity, structure and purpose of the family. Because if you dare to, you are setting wheels in motion that will weaken and further damage our families, causing our culture to fail. And practically every other ethnic group on the planet knows what this article says is true.
WHEN FATHERS ARE ABSENT, EVERYTHING GOES WRONG
https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hub/135704/file-396018955-pdf/RyanNFIFatherAbsenceInfoGraphic051614.pdf
Husbands and fathers lead by example, with focus and purpose, compassion, strength and stability and definitely input and assistance from your wife and children. Have a plan and make it work. Wives and mothers, plug in, sign on and be the help meet or help mate you were designated to be. The one spoken of in your marriage vows. So playing house won’t do. And young people, know that the intact family structure is honorable and powerful and productive so follow it then reproduce it in your own families.
People let’s at least try to own something and own it together instead of running, begging and hoping to make someone else’s family rich while they pull the money out of our communities in order to make theirs stronger. When this happens they make African-American communities weaker and their communities stronger. This is what Black Wall Street understood and Black Wall Street was a superior mindset of family and business before it ever became a reality.
To recap, look at who overwhelmingly owns the gas stations, restaurants, grocery stores, hair salons, nail salons, flea markets, medical buildings, cell phone shops, banks, new car dealerships, malls and hospitals in or near the African-American communities. And when our people do step up to start and own family businesses, we must not allow the development and growth of businesses that are counterproductive to our people and our success as a people. Therefore liquor stores and strip clubs are not the mark of African-American success.
So this year, wake up, step up, wise up, start up and rebuild the family the way is was supposed to be. Only when that happens will support roles be once again clearly defined and our families will join to be strong communities. And only then can we be what we were destined to be. But if you reject the foundation of the family and the responsibilities that come with that foundation, you have become part of the problem.
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw
Now Casting for Iyanla: Fix My Life!
Emmy Award-Winning Production Company, Bunim/Murray Productions (Producers of OWN’s Family or Fiance, MTV’s The Real World, and A&E’s Born This Way) is now casting Iyanla: Fix My Life for the Oprah Winfrey Network!
Have you and/or your loved ones experienced tough obstacles in life? Could you use help navigating through current life struggles in order to move forward? If so, Iyanla Vanzant wants to hear from you. Please click the link below to share your story to be considered for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join Iyanla on OWN. TO APPLY PLEASE VISIT: http://WWW.BMPCASTING.COM/IYANLA/
If you have questions or would like to nominate someone, please email castingnow@bunim-murray.com. For info about our company, please see our website: http://www.bunim-murray.com