Thursday, October 18, 2018


Overbearing Oppressive “Black” Women.

September 27, 2018 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) There is nothing wrong with a strong woman who speaks her mind, initiates her ideas and meets her goals. But there is a difference between a strong woman and a woman who is domineering, controlling, overbearing and loud-mouthed. This type of woman is very dangerous to the African American man because she has the nature of the slave master buried in her psyche. So whether Willie Lynche existed or not, the ideology of Willie Lynche to use African American women in controlling African American men is real, alive and well.

These women like having their way but will not respect you for allowing that to happen. They see and perceive your kindness as weakness, desperation and gullibility. So if you are bowing down or bending over, stop and man up. Stand up. Speak up. Never allow yourself to be treated less than the man you are or should be. You are not a doormat, an ATM machine nor a verbal punching bag. Words hit hard, sink deep and damage the spirit or psyche of the African American man. The slave master knew it and the overbearing African American woman knows it.

Maybe you never thought about it like this but verbal abuse is abuse. Verbal abuse is mental and emotional abuse designed to break you. No matter how fine she is or what she does, the woman should never, ever be allowed to control, manipulate, oppress or dominate you. We hear idiotic songs that sing about weak men like “what have you done for me lately, pay my bills, I’ll wash your clothes, I’ll pay your rent” etc. Brothers wake up. Don’t transition from the slave master’s physical plantation to the black woman’s mental plantation.

As a real man, you should not be domineering, controlling nor manipulative either. That is neither what manhood is about nor leadership. Be what you want. Lead by example. Treat others the way you want to be treated, especially the woman in your life. If you don’t give it out, you have no right to expect it of someone else. All that being said, set your standards and draw your lines in the sand of how the woman must treat and respect you.

As a marriage, family and relationship counselor and mediator, I have counseled thousands of people – both men and women. Many good, strong, respectful, independent and sincere women of purpose. But then there are the controlling women who speak to men like the slave master is talking. I have actually written down their conversations and compared them to the words of the slave master used to mentally break, damage and degrade the African American man. The similarities are shocking.

So this is a wake-up call for the African American man to raise your standards of acceptance. For you to expect more of yourself because you are worth it and capable. For you to draw the line with your female companion, wife or girlfriend and never accept being mistreated. I must say I am fortunate to be married to a strong, respectful African American female who speaks her mind, shares her ideas, honors my role of authority and makes be better because of what I learn from her. I wish the same for every good man, every real man, every sincere man out there who reads this article.

Staff Writer; Trevo Craw


Comments

15 Responses to “Overbearing Oppressive “Black” Women.”
  1. Trevo Craw says:

    To Karlton Chronicles,

    Where is your response?

  2. Trevo Craw says:

    Brothers BEWARE of the spirits of Jezebel and Lilith
    Do your research and you will overstand

  3. Trevo Craw says:

    TO KARLTON CHRONICLES YET AGAIN,

    As a former debate team member in college and one who became the youngest debate coach and judge in the country intercollegiate after graduation, clearly I am not hesitant about debating you. But what you fail to understand is that debate serves more of a purpose than tearing people down and hearing yourself talk to massage your ego.

    First who would judge or moderate? Second you prove my point about being programmed because you are so locked into one mindset that you would resist facts like Donald Trump does, in my opinion. Thus what would be the goal of the debate? You really should read many of the articles I have written and how I include and abundance of facts before you say you want to debate me.

    Your points do not refute anything in the article thus far. Then you prove my points, so thanks. Furthermore your bias is so locked into one tunnel and one school of thought that it is often a waste of time to debate with someone like you.

    Debate does not begin with disagreement. It begins by establishing a set of parameters and mutual agreements on terms, basic principles and the agreement to respect each other and accept real facts. From what you wrote I do not believe you can successfully do that. Debate is about sharing ideas and viewpoints, not about ego and hearing yourself talk. Whether you are with The Root or not. Save yourself the embarrassment.

  4. Trevo Craw says:

    To Rakeem,

    Thank you for catching that and for being awake, alert and aware.
    As for the persons commenting before you, it always amazes me when people like them who do not know how to spot, expose or stop slave programming want to pretend it does not exist. SO KARLTON CHRONICLES I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU

  5. Trevo Craw says:

    To The Karlton Chronicles,

    Don’t think I cannot respond to you. I just don’t spend my time going point for point with people who cannot hear in the first place. I see someone said I did not respond to you, as if to imply that I cannot. Wrong. I am more busy counseling, conducting seminars and workshops, mediation, life-coaching and then some. Plus I am on a deadline with my publisher for two books almost complete. Plus this is not the only site I write for, thus assumptions are just that – inaccurate assumptions.

    If you want to talk about every point you and others made, end your contact number to my email and I will call. My data, training and facts are accurate so i run from nothing. And your use of verbal judo does not intimidate me in the slightest.

    Plus slave programming has clearly been proven to be effective, cause generational cycles and still be present today. Sociology can prove that all day long and stats reaffirm my point. BTW I am neither a dem nor a liberal. But I am not going to participate in a debate on a blog that is not in real time. Email me.

  6. Trevo Craw says:

    TO THOSE SO EASILY OFFENDED: I Rang Your Bell Didn’t I?

    I am not going to spend my time answering point by point as those who are getting offended are simply proving my points. I have the training, the counseling experience with thousands of men, women, couples and families. I have done the research. I have the stats to back up my claims. And those of you, especially women, who will be honest, will have to know that this article is true – whether you like it or not and whether it is talking about YOU or not.

    Those men who try to slam this article would have to refute evidence and experience. And both men and women who try to attack this article apparently are ignoring or failing to understand the prefaces I have set forth in the beginning of this article. To you I say go back and read slower.

    If you are paying attention, you will know that I am married to a great, strong and outspoken yet highly respectful educated African American woman. I listen to, highly respect and learn from her but I am the head of my household and I lead by example. What are you and who are you with? Thus I do not speak from a point of bias against women, though some of you are speaking from your bias – not from training, stats or real evidence.

    Your experiences are your own and may vary. But they neither change the facts nor the reality of what so many African American men have experienced. I suggest you wake up and realize your experiences do not determine someone elses reality. Nor do mine. Which is why I am not writing based on my limited experiences. Can you say the same?

    And while I have counseled thousands and thousands of people who have been helped and families restored, how many have you helped and what have you done other that spout off nonsense, failed to refute this article and heard yourself talk?

    It is likely that those of you who are offended are the exact types I am exposing. That is why it bothers you, because I pulled the band-aid off the sore you have been hiding and denying.

  7. Rakeem says:

    …that proves there cannot be a connection to the current state of mental health and lack of self worth in the black community to our past historic treatment, you should stop attacking black people’s positions on the topic. And then the complexity of political identity for blacks in America is also something I highly doubt you understand with any sophistication. To simply state belief in historic damage done to black men specifically is a “liberal” idea just shows you don’t understand where the ideas of identity politics and the provable cliams about blacks psychology are seperable.

    Belief that history effects the station of people hudreds or thousands of years later is the studies of psychology, sociology, and anthropology. That means there could be proof of the claim the author is making that is supported by science. But the false idea of tying blacks to “liberal” identity politics any time we make claims about our historical treatment has beem a conservative tool older than the current Republican party (which was once liberal). So should black men take up a conservative political identity instead? Or do you agree that the politics of conservative whites, in whatever parry had the least amount of melanin at the time, have better ideas about black folks goals and dreams in a democracy no one wanted us to be a part of? If you are black, then brotha – you must see that a liberal ideology kills far fewer black men and women than a conservative one. I know this for a fact but its no ones job here to educate you. Since you talk so strong and independent it should be no problem for you but if you ever want help getting your weight up on these complex topics just let me know. Brotha.

  8. Rakeem says:

    @TheKarltonChronicles

    The author didn’t respond to you that I saw, so let me take this one. First and foremost your tone in your comment appeared to me, meant to condescend. It’s fine. We all have opinions but it seems like you wanted to defy the purpose of the article directly by doing the exact thing that he talks about. I’m not the comment police but it’s in poor taste. I respect your role at The Root. I love the root and if you write for them its likely I know your work. I actually have a suspicion I can guess which writer you are as well, based on you irreverence.

    Now you started off throwing shade on the “liberal mindset” to explain in some way this slavery syndrome you deny exists. One of the most knowledgeable people on black specific forms of PTSD is Chauncey DeVega. There is no doubt that when measured the rates of mental illness and PTSD in blacks is a grave, unspoken crisis. But its unspoken because our medical scientists and doctors who study such things have made studying the causes of black specific mental damage or illness the last priority of the medical community. There is a lot of interesting studies out there that confirm massively disperate treatment of black mental patients going back since medical records were available. So since this field of study is in its infancy you have no leg to stand on saying that there is no relation to blacks historical status as slaves or the lowest form of less-dead, discarded peoples in much of the world. So in short, unless ypu did a series of studies or know of a body of evidence t

  9. As a Black Conservative this ‘Hotep nonsense about “Slave Traumatic Syndrome” is nothing but an offshoot of a liberal mindset. It is an excuse to not blame the individual, hence we should NOT be having this race based conversation. You are merely adding to the anti-black woman stereotype of the “strong black woman”. How the hell does slavery have anything to do other then economically with African Americans in 2018? Only an inferior people would make an infinitely broad based excuse of an argument. This is nothing more then “race victimization” in sheeps clothing

    Black Women are actually the true face of the feminist movement. They’ve taken care of black AND white people’s kids. Lets not forget the lack of educated black men and/or fathers that abandon their kids. Lets not forget the Black Marriage rate either. Black people are alleged to be the most “moral” yet we have nothing to show for it. Shouldn’t this be the man’s fault since MEN are supposed to be the leaders with their promiscuity left unchecked in the black community?

    A feminist could easily say “The Faulty/Timid Black Men Doctrine”

    Please stop this useless “race based inferiority”/”overbearing black woman” crap young blood.

    Half the time your racial rants have you sounding like a begging Yvette Carnall/Cynthia G Female.

    You are weak my beloved brother…people must be judged on individual accounts NOT group based dynamics.

    I am a well known journalist on TheRoot.com (this is my pseudonym)…I challenge you to a debate.

  10. Florence Johnson says:

    I had to think about this for a while, to make sure I had the right understanding of what you are trying to convey.

    I agree that a “woman” should respect her man regardless of race, I assume it is directed at black women because of the origin of the article itself (i.e.) thyblackman.com, therefore you are speaking to our culture in general. Nevertheless I can’t say that it is just a black female thing.

    I have never understood throughout the years observing black men in the kind of situations/relationships that you speak of, without asking the question as I would do from time to time, what is wrong with a man or woman for that matter who would be in a relationship with someone who would speak to them in such a manner and or treat them with such disrespect, weather man or woman. I am a domestic violence survivor, I would never disrespect my man in such a way, neither would I allow a man to disrespect me either. It is called mutual respect, learning how to communicate and disagree in mature appropriate ways, and it is definitely not just black women, I have seen it in all races from both sides. I am a counselor at an emergency shelter for women of domestic violence, my experiences has not made me bitter I carry no baggage, I have allowed myself to embrace healing, from the abuse experience, I have neither do I carry any bitterness. The women I have met as you describe have deep seated anger unforgiveness and bitterness, so what is wrong with the man who would hook up with a woman who is not whole healed and complete, I ask you what is his problem?

  11. Trevo Craw says:

    Christine you need to read more closely. Did I say all black women? No. Did I say most? No. That would be a stereotype. Learn the meaning of terms before you try to apply them. Read and understand what prefaces are.

    AngieL what is narrow minded about the truth? and you know its true. Is the article talking about you? People who are quick to get offended are usually those who are guilty. You don’t understand the psychological impact of slavery, Jim Crow, Willie Lynche etc at all or you would not have made your comments. Mental slavery is alive and well, just like the denial you are exhibiting which in fact illustrates my point to some extent. What training do you have? Furthermore that is your opinion that I am not helping. But I am informing, building and preparing brothers, not you. And to fix any problem it must first be addressed honestly without excuses, games or sugar coated or denial. Try again.

  12. Spirit says:

    Facts..here are more facts,until our aka sisters give up Their meaningless benefits and relations with the same people that kill And incarcerat our children..there’s nothing to talk about

  13. AngieL says:

    I really wished this wasn’t so narrow minded. What is it called when a white partner does it to her black man or white man? This has nothing to do with slavery. It is definitely psychological abuse. But in no way is this exclusive to black couples. The analogy is obsolete and inaccurate. It’s also harmful to put this idea in black mens’ minds who are already feeling inadequate and boxed in. Come up with something better than this. Black men have it bad enough. You’re not helping.

  14. Mike says:

    Great article and very true as I’ve seen this and experienced it as well. And it’s really funny that a woman is the first to comment on it, missing the entire message. If you’re not that type of woman then you shouldn’t or wouldn’t be offended and you would just keep it moving.

  15. Christine says:

    Sadly you are reinforcing the stereotype of the “domineering, controlling, overbearing, and loud-mouthed” black woman” again. However, these traits can be found in any gender, race, ethic or religious group. Really what you are saying is that black women should not have a voice or personally unless it is given the stamp of approval by you. #BlackWomenSpeakUp

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