The Alphabet of Fatherhood Can Be Awesome.
(ThyBlackMan.com) Suggestions for new dads and dads that need to be re-energized to their responsibility as fathers.
Fathers need to take advantage of community resources for several reasons: children need to be exposed to diverse learning opportunities like libraries, museums and cultural events.
The language engagement between fathers and children is important, it helps build vocabulary and encourages questioning and increases observation.
Children need to feel comfortable asking their parents questions, their opinions to understand they have value and their curiosity is encouraged. Mothers are not the only ones that build a bond with children, a fathers bond is just as important and significant. Fathers should never doubt they are important and valuable. Never allow anyone to demean your importance and significance in your child’s life. You are part of the creative process for life.
A. Fact – fathers spend about 45% playing while moms only spend 15-20%.
B. Dads should help in getting the kids ready for the day. Create a unique routine that kids look forward to. This will make getting ready less stressful.
C. Dads should learn about their child’s development so they better understand when to “teach” certain skills. Playing catch, tying shoes and other things are a process that is taught according to the developmentally able child. Children learn differently so don’t compare your kid to others even their siblings.
D. Fathers should have time to read to their children. Dads can make a special language and storytelling trip for their children. A dad’s voice is security and comfort to the child.
E. Dads should make special trips to book stories, libraries and museums. Make learning unique and fun. Dads can plan field trips during the weekends and holidays.
F. Dads need to know their children’s interests as they mature. Learning as much as possible about their children and not allowing mom’s to do and know everything. Brake the mindset
that dads are less important.
G. Dads should know what foods their kids like. Take them to the store and shop with them. Make sure they communicate with you about their likes and dislikes. Their “tastes” will change as they age and mature.
H. Dads need to be familiar with their children’s sleep patterns. Give mom a break and help to keep sleep time, nap time consistent.
I. Dads need to spend time with their newborns. A dads smell, voice and hugs need to be comforting to newborns.
J. Dads need to understand that the first months of a newborns life are key to bonding with their parents. Dads should plan ahead to take paternity leave if possible, use vacation time or other options to stay home and help mom and child adjust to the new world.
K. Dads need to learn their child’s behaviors and their developing personality. What activities make the newborn, toddler or growing child laugh, happy, sad, scared, excited, etc.
L. Dads need to be a part of the educational and developmental process of their children. Mothers have careers and fathers need to respect the fact that mom’s love their children, but may want to continue their careers.
M. When the child is school aged dads need to be there every step of the way. Teachers, administrators, and other school personnel need to know that children have two parents even if they are not in the same home.
N. Children need to see their parents working, they need to see their parents communicating and being active. Too many times parents “hide” their emotions which causes confusion in children.
O. Dads and moms need to monitor television watching. There are so many suggestions and innuendos that will cause confusion and doubt in girls and boys about their bodies, culture, skin care, height, weight and other physical attributes. Parents are the first line of knowledge that builds self-esteem and self-respect.
P. A fathers words can bring life and death to their children. Fathers should be careful what they say to their children and how they say it, even how they talk about their mother and other family members.
Q. Fathers should be listeners first and fixers second. Fathers are instinctively fixers of problems for their children and families. The important part is fathers should listen first to get all the information needed and involve their children in the fixing process. Fathers take the opportunity to include their children if old enough to fix any problems that are teachable moments.
R. Dads should not be scared to “play” with their children. When the opportunity comes play is beneficial, it can build confidence, trust, love, respect and solidify a relationship.
S. “Know Thy Self” dads should know their maturity, their strengths and weaknesses. Understand what drives you and moves you. “Before you start raising children look at your foundation.” Nishan Nicks (Fresh World Ministries)
T. Communication is important between parents, moms and dads need to be open and honest when talking about parental responsibilities. They both must understand that their children are living and growing human beings and will develop their own personality. They will not stay the same forever and time does fly by when you have children.
U. Fathers take care of your bodies, your minds and your spirit. You are responsible for more than yourself. Visit the doctors regularly and change your eating habits and late night activities.
V. Fathers plan for the future. Plan for your retirement, your kid’s educational future, the growth of the family. Take into account a potential career change for yourself. Money is not the only cause for a job or career change. Support your spouses or partners desire to improve their education and career as well.
W. Plan vacations that are active and engaging. Be sure to plan how to pack and if the destinations are kid friendly. Plan to make sure the trip is beneficial for your kids and the family not just you.
X. Treat your spouse or partner to some personal time. Allow them to grow outside of parenthood to refresh their spirit and mind.
Y. Don’t forget the grandparents in visits and trips, they can be a partnership also.
Z. Be a parent, not a buddy. As your child grows so will you and you must modify your parenting discipline, language, expectations.
There are no “perfect” parents. You will make mistakes. Just do your best and learn as you go.
The Father Effect – http://Twitter.com/thefathereffect
GetConnectDAD – http://Twitter.com/GetConnectDad
Dad 2.0 Summit – http://Twitter.com/dad2summit
Daddydaddydaddy – http://Twitter.com/daddydaddydadus
Dad Summit https://twitter.com/dad2summit
The role of being a father with Roland Martin
Change the Discussion on Black Fathers
Summit Schedule for Dads 2.0 Conference
Staff Writer; William D. Jackson
Find out more about this talented writer over at; OCS For Education.