(ThyBlackMan.com) Let’s be clear: I don’t hate white people. In fact, many of my best friends are white (yes, that was a joke, since I hear this often said about black people). I have a view of white America that is not built on being unnecessarily angry at anyone, but I have no fear about being justifiably disappointed by the lack of accountability being taken for the role that white America has played in creating the condition of my people: We fill up the prisons for things that white guys get away with all the time, we are overrun with poverty as white families enjoy the wealth that was stolen from our ancestors, and black kids are blowing each other’s brains out with guns that politicians and wealthy people are allowing to be sold in black neighbhorhoods rather than their own.
There is plenty to be upset about and we shouldn’t be afraid to say it. I won’t even talk about the massacre on Black Wall Street, that’ll make me so angry that won’t even be able to finish this article.
But here’s the thing: After you’re done being mad and making your case, it’s important to realize one undeniable fact: Nobody cares what you think unless you make them. The Democrats would rather march for gay marriage and immigration than take serious stands on mass incarceration and black unemployment (when’s the last time you heard a prominent Democrat make the black unemployment crisis a top priority? If this were happening to white people, it would be the top story on the news every day of the week). No one cares that nearly half of all black men can’t find a decent jobs or healthcare. Nobody cares when our kids are uneducated and left unable to compete for scarce resources and opportunities. The only thing that matters is whether or not we care about ourselves enough to fight.
But some of us still believe that “the man” controls our lives. We’re led to think that some invisible hand determines whether we’re going to be happy or sad, whether we’re going to be wealthy or whether we’re going to win. If history has told us anything, it’s that other people DO NOT want us to win. It’s up to us to decide how our story is going to end.
So, here are a few ways to know if you’re allowing racist white people to control your destiny.
1) You spend the majority of your time complaining about things that white people will and won’t do for you: Have you ever noticed that person who loves saying, “You know, the white folks won’t let us do it,” “let me tell you about the white folks on my job,” or “They’ll never let a black person go that far in the company!” In fact, many of us have made these statements on multiple occasions (I know I have). But when I came to my senses, I realized that this line of thinking, after a while, can be counter-productive.
Yes, racism gives us a great deal to be upset about, I speak about racism all the time. But every time we complain about a problem, we should at least start seeking out ways to overcome the problem in our personal lives. Sitting around and festering in your misery is not the way to create the life you really want, so there must come a point when you are busier finding solutions and healthy distractions than you are focusing on the thing that’s causing you so much stress.
When the racists in my job at Syracuse University were treating me unfairly, I decided to start my own business and triple my salary by becoming an entrepeneur. An easy cure for racism was knowing that I’d found a way to win and had no reason to upset with the jealous bigots down the hall. I refused to let them drag me to the insane asylum.
Hopelessness is a tempting sedative to ease the pain of difficult situations, but we must avoid the temptation of this drug at all costs.
2) You get upset when white people don’t like you or are afraid of being labeled the “angry black man/woman”: It’s very difficult to challenge abusive conditions while at the same time maintaining favor with the descendants of your historical oppressors. In other words, white America will never congratulate us for fighting for true equality (that’s why they don’t EVER mention Malcolm X in most white-funded black history museums): For white America to give us permission to excel is like a basketball team cheering on their opponents for scoring the most points. There is a difference between someone LIKING you and someone RESPECTING you. Standing up for yourself may earn you well-deserved respect, but it is not usually going to win you very many friends.
This is where self-esteem comes into play. If you love yourself, then you don’t need someone else to love you. If you are loved by your own people, then you don’t need the racist down the hallway to think you’re a good guy. In my own life, I can say that getting love and support from other black people eased the stress I felt when my white colleagues tried to tell me that I was inferior to them (of course I told them to go to hell when they said it). Our speaking honestly and forthrightly about the injustices endured by our people might cause some to naturally complain about our behavior. But if we show up as a mighty collective force, they will get nervous when they see us coming. That’s what I mean by RESPECT.
There’s an old saying that “Great women are RARELY well-behaved” – the same thing is true for great black people.
It’s hard to get what’s yours while being polite about it. Sometimes, you’ve got to be willing to FIGHT.
3) You predict your future success by whether or not you’ve gained favor with powerful white people or establishments: It’s easy to think that befriending the right billionaire can get us ahead, or that gaining favor with our superiors might open doors for us in the future. These factors may help us along the way, but we can’t forget that there are typically many ways to skin the same cat. This means that, even if these relationships dry up, there are other ways for us to achieve our personal objectives without hoping to receive a blessing from some benevolent white guy.
There are some of us who feel that the grip of white power is so great in America that there is barely any reason to get out of bed in the morning. I feel sorry for those who are so mentally defeated that we think the racists hold the keys to our future.
In fact, I remember a girl I knew in college who told me ” I don’t know why you study so hard every day, you are only going to go as far as white people want you to go”
I saw this poor woman recently. She only went as far as white people wanted her to go. Unfortunately, her defeatist thinking had turned her entire life into one failed effort after another, mainly because she felt that other people controlled her future. I actually feel sorry for her.
Bust through barriers, Never Ever bow to them. You are not meant to be a slave
4) You are convinced that being a polite, well-behaved negro is the thing that separates you from the rest of “us”: Of course there is merit to being a good person in general, but don’t fall for the misconception that black people are only punished or denied opportunities because we are lazy or unethical. One of the reasons it’s so difficult to fight the mass incarceration epidemic is because millions of blacks are convinced that “those criminals” don’t deserve any rights at all. However, the tide is turned once they have their own confrontation with police and realize just how easy it is for a black man to be arrested (You hear that Henry Louis Gates?)
In academia, I’ve seen many black scholars fall for the misconception that their university had never hired or promoted an African American in their department because every black person who’d ever applied for the job was either lazy or unqualified. We often sit idly by and watch another person of color get pulled through the mud because we believe that if we quietly mind our own business, we’ll be safe from harm. Unfortunately, when we are convinced that the rest of our people are denied opportunities because they are all less capable than ourselves, we are feeding right into white supremacist outcomes. This is why so many corporations are able to boast horrifically discriminatory hiring records without so much as a peep from black employees about such a grave injustice.
5) You’re fearful of being associated with too many other black people on the job: I once had a colleague who told me that she deliberately avoided associating with other black people at work because she didn’t want to receive a hostile reaction from her white co-workers. Unfortunately, her strategy only served to dilute our collective power when she was on the verge of being fired from her position. By isolating herself in this way, she made it easier for her opponent to attack her.
Remember that there was a reason that it was once illegal for slaves to congregate in large groups. There is also a reason that police typically investigate when large numbers of black teenagers gather together in one location. It is due to a fear of collective action and what might happen if we were to actually stick together. Black people are amazing when we work in unison.
6) You believe that white is almost always better:
Some of us hold onto an interesting double standard when it comes to whites: We think that white businesses are more efficient than black ones. We believe that white universities are better than HBCUs. We’ll spend $250 at Walmart, but gripe about spending $25 with a black-owned company. Collective economics is not always our strong suit.
Have you ever noticed that white people are never clamouring to attend our universities the way we fight to get into theirs? They also don’t spend a lot of time worrying about what we think or asking us for support (other than Democrats using black votes in order to stay in power). Now mind you, we have a right to demand things from whites, such as reparations for both slavery and the War on Drugs, but we can’t allow their reactions to us to determine how we are going to map out our future.
White is not always better, we know this. Yes, they have talent like the rest of us and access to expertise and resources, but there is something deathly wrong with a community that is as determined as ours to give our resources away to the descendants of our historical oppressors and to also lean on them for advice. In fact, opression breeds mental illness, and many of us are infected. Racial harmony in America is not going to be achieved through any government program or by holding hands and singing “We Shall Overcome.” It’s going to occur only through the volatility of struggle and a commitment to being courageous enough to stand on our own two feet.
No one controls your destiny but you. When you fall down, keep getting back up. Never be afraid, never surrender and never take your eyes off the prize.
That’s how you create a future worth fighting for, and that’s how you leave something for your children.
Staff Writer; Dr. Boyce Watkins
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. For more information, please visit http://BoyceWatkins.com.
7. Have a website called “thyblackman” and advetise Corprate America products and services.
White folks (I’m one), calm down. This article is interesting. White privilege is real guys, and it is so much more destructive than the ever-feared political correctness. But this author isn’t saying our white skin makes us bad people, just that black people deserve what’s fair. I sincerely appreciate that the author took the time to say “I don’t hate white people” because there we see he isn’t trying to inspire hatred, but to inspire black people to get a fair piece of the pie.
-Trying to whitemansplain to white men
Caucasians have in fact created the political climate and economic conditions that trigger many African American behaviors. But before we let ourselves off the hook completely, we can not continue to use what they have done as an excuse for what we cannot achieve. White people did not make the Kings (Dexter, Bernice, MLK III) miss the point entirely. White people did not refuse to fact check President Obama’s voting record in the senate years ago and his executive orders like NDAA.
For the most part, I agree with your article. I recommend you read my article on this site entitled I DON’T KNOW ANY BLACK PEOPLE.
Once again, it’s the white mans fault your people are killing each other at astounding rates. It’s the white mans fault your people are criminals and drug addicts. Your people have ZERO personal accountability for their own actions, because after all, its all the evil white man’s fault. America is the land of equal OPPORTUNITY, NOT EQUAL OUTCOME. Your people have the same amount of,if not more,opportunity as the rest of us. Just don’t expect equal outcomes. If you don’t like it then there is another freedom we all have, the freedom to LEAVE! !!
THe ignorance in your post is absolutely stunning. you should focus on why your people are offing each other in record numbers, why nearly 50% are in some form of the correctional system and lastly why you can’t seem to get your shit together.
Whites have been oppressed by many others throughout history, as far back as the Romans invading the British Isles in 45 BC.
You yourself talk as a racist, not as a community leader, stop being the victim and man up to your peoples own behaviour. Do you see white culture celebrating gang culture? Do you see white culture buying “bling” instead of moving out of poverty? Think twice next time you’re spending your months rent on that 24K diamond earing and maybe try going to college and entering the workforce. The black people I work with don’t complain about Whitey, the only black people I see complaining about oppression are the ones with no ambition, the ones who sell drugs and commit crime and complain of oppression due to legally and being found guilty. A black man with an education and ambition has the same opportunities as a white man, and in some cases is cut more slack due to racial aggressions from generations ago. Find a different racial identifier than thug hip hop music and worshiping diamonds and rust.
To each their own.
I’m a descendant of Catholics (“The Irish, they’re pigs, let them eat their babies to reduce the surplus population”, Jonathan Swift,”A Modest Proposal” in the British Parliament) told “just take your families and get” at the same time Arab slavers were stealing Black people.
I’ve been married for 33 years to an African-American woman. Am I a racist enslaver? I suppose you wouldn’t want me for a brother-in law.
We let them control our destiny! We accept to work for them because we are sooo naive with this so-called integration even when they always exploited us and always will. We accept that Whites get promotions even if we are often more qualified than them instead of building family businesses. When Blacks build successful businesses such as Essence, Motown… we sold them to the mainstream. I could go on and on but I am fed up!!!
As an organization dedicated to ending slurs & slander against the diverse white Americans, Resisting Defamation does not have much to disagree with in your essay, except that a clearer perception of the different kinds of white Americans that there are might be helpful.
Understanding our diversity might be a way to break some of the holds on some minds in terms of thinking about best strategies. We are just not all alike, and if you approach us as though we are all alike, you will miss out on a whole lot of possibilities. (Minister Farrakhan understands that we are diverse.)
To take an analogy from the peace movement, my friends and I can barely stay for the speeches after the white male bashing gets going. This leaves the weak, passive, silly-minded white males to help out in the peace movement. No one of any dignity stays around when they are defined or described as a clone of an entire group.
Having said that, the diverse white Americans do house close-minded people who cannot even see the social problems that afflict us in an over-represented way like tobacco addiction, binge drinking, and meth abuse. Those are just three of the serious problems the diverse white Americans face in American society in 2014 in an over-represented way as a demographic.
When all is said and done, the members of each demographic affinity group do end up having to do the planning and the working for the advancement of their own kin…but that doesn’t mean we can’t cooperate on this or that issue which would establish more bonds, more insights, and more understanding. We can live our own lives determined by our own cultures, but for the rough spots it would be a good thing to have friends in every demographic affinity group. Well, that’s what I keep telling white people.
Well said, “If you are loved by your own people, then you don’t need the racist down the hallway to think you’re a good guy.”
….dropped my wife off at work at 8:00 am. Down the street three young black males are downing their quarts. I get “the look” as I drive by. Thats ok. Im driving and I have my cell phone to call the police and my .45 if things get ugly. Stop at McDonalds and the girl taking the orders and money is an absolutely beautiful black woman with a nice smile and sparkling eyes. She is certainly an asset to the company. Were I to go inside I would find a mostly black staff. If I were to go to walmart just up the street I would find a staff of roughly 50/50 black and white. Could be wrong but I just don’t get the feeling that these black people I interact with wake up each morning and worry about whitey.