Being a Black Man in America! : ThyBlackMan

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Being a Black Man in America!

July 18, 2012 by  
Filed under Brother Talk, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Being a black man in America is not for the weak, in fact, I can’t think of another group of men that would be able to withstand the torment that we face daily. Let’s see, where shall we begin? First of all, many of us are born into this world to a young mother who might not know who daddy is, or if she does, there is a chance that he might not be sticking around. As a child, we sometimes have to be aware of the crazy boyfriends that moms is bringing home, and let’s pray to GOD that this fool does not like little boys.

As we grow up, we witness many of our friends turn to gangs, illegal activity, and drug use. Mind you that dad is not here to guide us, so it’s hard to avoid the peer pressure, so more than likely we will have a few run in’s with the law before age 18. Oh yeah, moms is at work trying to make ends meet, and the drug trade is looking real good right now. I need a new pair of shoes and them Jordan’s are calling my name.  After all, I’m tired of getting picked on by the rest of the kids at school, and that chick that sits in front of me at school wouldn’t give a broke brother like me the time of day. Mom could use the extra money too, so she won’t care where I got the money from.  Ha-ha, I  know you brothers can relate to this.

By the time we reach 25 (full grown), more than likely there will be babies, baby mama(s), and oh yeah, child support. Many of us can’t keep a steady girlfriend, why, because mom didn’t keep a steady boyfriend. Dad wasn’t there to show me how to treat a woman. We can’t keep hustling, so it’s time to get a job, a real job. Who’s going to hire a brother with a record and a GED, certainly not a company that pays more than minimum wage?  Hell, even with a college education, it’s hard for most of us to get a good job. When we walk into that interview, the white dude is scoping us out from head to toe. He is looking at my hair, my complexion, and listening to the way I talk. If it’s a brother interviewing  us, he is just as worse as the white guy, you know the type of brother that grew up in the suburbs, went to college, and made  straight A’s in school. Even if we get the job, we have to deal with glass ceilings, because it’s only so high up the man is going to let us go.

When a black man reaches his thirties, he is normally tired of the struggles, pain, and is seeking stability. Yeah we get tired of the different girls, going to the club and have the desire to have a loving family. When it’s time to meet that special someone, where do you go to find her. Many of our women are scarred, have attitudes, and have better jobs than us. How can I be a man in my house when my lady is making more than me, and every day she is telling me how much she don’t need a man and can take care of herself. Let’s not forget, she never did like the baby’s mama(s), so that equals even more drama. Even if we did meet a good woman, we wouldn’t know how to treat her due to our childhood, and some insecurities. In the life of a black man, we often rotate jobs and women as if they were tires on a car. I forgot about the biggest problem of all…We are black.

 It’s like we were doomed since birth. The race that makes up the majority never liked us, but see’s us as fools. The only thing we have ever been good for in the eyes of the majority is work. Yeah, AmeriKKKA loves the Kobe’s, the LeBron’s, and the Mj’s (both of the Michaels and Magic) because you are making them money. When you are making AmeriKKA money by entertaining, playing a sport, or even acting, you will be ok. If you are just the average Joe, or should I say Leroy, you will have to fight your way through this life harder than the average man.

A black man wants and deserves the same opportunities as any other man. We want the good jobs, we want the pretty wife and kids, and we want the vacations to Disney world and a few dogs with the picket fence. The problem is that America as a whole does not want to see us with it, and some of our own people don’t either. Most of our black men are in jail, and most of their kids headed there. Why you ask, it’s not because we want to be, it’s because Amerikka was designed this way. As a black man in America, I make no excuses at all, but I give reasons. We can go to school and get the same education as the rest of the world, we can also stay out of jail in most situations, but we have to be taught to first love ourselves.

We have been taught that we are nothing, and have no value. This is something that we have been stripped of, and that’s why we need more real men in the home teaching their family. Being a black man is something that I love, but being one in America can make you want to just avoid all of your responsibilities, which is killing us but we have to do better. God bless you black man! P.S. Check out this book!

Staff Writer; Kataurus Braswell

This brother is founder of Black Convo Media Group LLC, a group of website’s dedicated to African Americans. He is also a freelance writer, music producer, and blogger.

Official website;

Can also connect via Facebook BCMedia and Twitter; BlackConvo.


40 Responses to “Being a Black Man in America!”
  1. Asashii says:

    Sorry, i just dont understand, i work with way to many middle class African American people to believe alot of this, hell i grew up even more poor than most of them, USA has laws to make sure companies hire minorities even if they are not qualified. which actually hurts the black community, because hey if i can only be sub-par and get a job why would i go out of my way to bust-@$$! The strongest minority i have ever worked with is the African American Female, working at the paper and binder plant years ago, those women (i was right along side them making less money doing the same job because i was a temp) worked hard and they took care of business. But all the African American people i am surrounded by now, all have college degrees and make bank. they didnt come from rich families. If they can do it why cant anyone else!

  2. youguyhavenoideawhatyouaretalkingabout says:

    it doesn’t matter how you are raised..

  3. youguyhavenoideawhatyouaretalkingabout says:

    I didn’t talk to my black friends as much as my white so don’t tell people it is because of how blacks are raised what a bunch of bullsht.. .

  4. yis'sh'yah says:

    it is time to wakeup blackman dread scott case says you will never or could never b sucessful in this system its a beast system setup for jews italians greeks and europeon nations read the willie lynch letter you honestly think you can be a sucess in amerikkka when they plotting your demise everyday study about the society of jesuits and see what they about to do to black people go to to learn the realtruth

  5. Michael says:

    @Juan Blackman — Very well said.

  6. @Juan, I agree with many things from your post. I was just stating some of the things that brothers go through, and that affects us. Nothing that I named is excusable. I am 32 years old, married, working, educated, never been suspended, and never been in a jail cell. I lived the first part of my childhood in the hood. I had both of my parents, but most of my friends did not. They came up a little rougher, and they ended up going to jail. They are still responsible, but If I didnt have the father I had in my life, I think I could have been in the same situation.

  7. I honestly don’t know where to start with this one…Okay, first of all, I believe you’re actually referring to men who grew up in the slums and ghettos–THAT, my friend has nothing to do with being BLACK. Children who are raised by bad parents and parents who continuously make bad choices in life come in all races, creeds, and complexions in this country. The fact that a man’s mother sleeps around with every man she meets and doesn’t care if her kids sell dope out of her house has nothing to do with race, education, or financial well being. It reflects the character, morals, and (lack of)class of an individual person and is not a trait of Black people, but of TRASH, which comes in all colors.

    A Black child who grows up in Suburban America not only has the same racial hurdles and barriers to jump over and break through as those raised in the inner city, but face even more adversity as many of them do not have other Black peers in which to confide or be befriended by, and in fact have to deal with racism on a day to day level from classmates, teachers, school faculty, and even neighbors who don’t want them or their family living in their lily white cul de sac.

    If you chose to use phrases such as “just as worse”, you should not wonder why employment is hard to find. It has nothing to do with the color of your skin, but rather your lack of proper use of the English language. In these times, employment is hard to come across for most Americans. Many of us are unemployed, even more are stuck in dead end jobs we hate. Yet and still, this is the land of opportunity, and any man who is without should always be waiting to jump on the next one that comes around the corner. That means taking the necessary steps to further your education and knowledge on the career path of your choice. When all else fails, go into business for yourself. Mary Kay only has a $100 start up fee.

    Any man of any race who doesn’t know how to treat a woman and blames it on the lack of a father in his household must not have had a mother, a grandmother, any aunts, or female relatives at all. That is not even a half way feasible excuse. If you can’t keep a relationship because of your “baby mamas”, don’t blame it on being Black, blame it on you not having enough fucking sense to use condoms and birth control and pull out. Masturbate more, it’s cheaper!

    Prison???? The majority of people I know who have been to prison are dope fiends. They do stupid shit and get locked up over and over and over again, all with the hopes of being able to get high again. It’s not because they’re Black, it’s because they’re stupid. Unless you’re a black man who wrongly served a sentence for a crime you didn’t commit or were mistakenly convicted of (totally different issue), you probably did some real stupid shit to try to make a quick come up and you got caught. Simple as that.

    I’m not saying that racial prejudice isn’t alive, well, and stronger than ever in the good ole’ US of A, because it most certainly is. The issue is that we as Black men cannot continue to use the excuse of being Black men as a cover-up for our shortcomings. Everyone has hardships to deal with in life, but you are not living until you attempt to overcome them. There have always been successful, prominent, educated Black men in America, just as there have always been those who lived in ignorance and poverty. Many of us still have a slave mentality, failing to realize that there were also Black men and women who owned slaves. Achieving greatness in this land is not something that will be determined by race or culture, but by strength, determination, and willingness to persevere.

    We all know that this nation of ours is built on hatred, is crooked, treacherous, and has proven to be unfriendly to the darker skinned and poor. We also have more information at our fingertips in this age to leap any obstacle by bounds. If you continue to fall for the same trick even after it has been revealed to you, you have only proven yourself to be a fool. This has nothing to do with being Black.

    Why continue to live a lie once you’ve been exposed to the truth?

  8. Steph says:

    Whether you are being abused every day or once it is unacceptable!!! It is outrageous to make this kind of comparison for something sooo grave. I will always remember what a sister told me: If White people had to live for one day, what we have to go through for our entire lives they would not be able to bear it for one day!!!

  9. BlackBeauty says:

    @ STEPH,

    “steph says:
    July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am
    A Message to Black Beauty:

    “I think that your message is very judgemental. If you want to stay here, fine with you. But I have a very particular experience with White men. Before the age of 25, I was sexually abused by at least four among them”

    Not being judgemental at all. Simply telling it like it is per my opinion!

    You are angry (rightfully so), and thus your pain is personalized.
    Here is a question for you; do you know how many black women have been raped by black men? If you are a worldly person you must know that this goes on all over the world! Would your anger be any less if the 4 men had been black? I think not.

    I am sorry that happened to you, however you must know that your ancestors suffered every day of their lives so those that came after them could live better. We dishonor them when we turn our backs on them.

    You are free to live/go where ever you please (the freedom your ancestors faught & died for) on the planet. I am staying right here in the/my country my forefathers helped to build.

    Blessings to you.

  10. The poem is in my book launch video at

    Black Unity

  11. Steph says:

    Message to Terrance Amen:

    Can you send us the link of your poem? I am sure that I am not the only one interested to read it.

  12. Bighunt says:

    completely agree with @King Braswell, we forget that we were slaves IN THIS COUNTRY. the place we call and is our home, we were slaves in for hundreds of years. That is our true history here. I say if you have a God that you believe in, keep him close to your heart and let him guide, because we of all people need his mercy. peace

  13. My Brothers and Sisters, I see we are all on the same page for the most part. But until we take it from comments to action, that’s all it will be. I’m starting a organization that address all these issues and more. You all have valid points. But we must find ways to solve these issues. Really, there is only one issue that causes these problems in our community and that is we’re not united. Why, because of the remmants of slavery. Not the physical, but the mental. If you want the ultimate proof of this, I wrote a poem about it. Just go to my site to hear it and more on solving our problems. But here it is in a nutshell. As most of you know our buying power is over a trillion dollars a year. The problem with that is, we spend it with every group but our own. If this isn’t mental slavery, I don’t know what is. The question to ask ourselves is what group spends this kind of money in our community? Not even the federal government spends this kind of money in our community. I really believe I have the solution. If we just take the next step to take action. Give this a chance. What do you have to lose? Go to,

    Black Unity is the solution and always will be.

  14. You guys are making some great points! I see the conversation has gotten heated. I will say this, and jump back in tomorrow. African Americans were stripped of everything we had in slavery, our women and our men. Yes this is just as much our country as it is anyone else’s, and we should be allowed to stay here like anyone else with all of the bloodshed our ancestors had to endure, and we still do today. We are living in modern day slavery, we have been brainwashed, and we will never be treated fairly by white folks. Do you guys realize that white folks have mistreated every single minority in this country. They have used each and every one of us to build this country up, especially blacks. This country is not for us, but for a lot of us its all that we know. We should unite over hear and support each other for as long as we are here, but we should be focused on Africa, since this is where they snatched us from, and this goes for myself. If I could afford to, I would be over there now visiting my native land. White folks have sexually abused our women, broke down the black man and stripped him to the bone, until we can’t even see how important we are to our families. Many people do not want to bring up slavery, but slavery really screwed us up. Why do you think that we are in the shape that we are in, slavery. We need to stop playing this down, thats what white folks want to do, we should not be doing it. We can’t stop and just complain though, we have to keep going, but please do not forget the damage that has been done. Peace

  15. Steph says:

    A Message to Umm Yeah:

    Did you really read what I wrote or you just skimmed it? I was around White people since my childhood in an upper neighborhood because my parents believed in the so-called American dream. They really accept us, lol! I travelled the world and I have a totally different perspective. There are other people out there beside White people who are by the way the minority worldwide. I really don’t get it why integration is so important for our people. I paid the price for it since my childhood. I wish honestly that I was around other people. I have a great Asian friend for instance. She gives me so much great advice for my business that I am building. I neeeeever had this kind of help from any White people, many among them even tried to sabotage my business!!! For me, it speaks volume. We have a lot to learn from Asian and Jewish people.

  16. Katty says:

    Message to Umm Yeah :

    Did you read well what I wrote? I was around White people living in their rich neighborhood and my parents thought they were living the American dream. We are soooo naive!!!!

  17. BLACK 1 says:


  18. natalie says:

    Katty did you undersand my post? Also, the elite (male and female) of this country declare war through congressional authorization(e.g. the hawk hillary clinton) why do you ask?

  19. Umm Yeah says:

    Steph, I appreciate the barbarity of the abuse you suffered, but do you think it is only white people who abuse? So if a White person abuses it is white supremacy, and if a black person abuses it is also…wait for it…white supremacy?

    Your other arguments I understand a little better, but the premise that sexual abuse is the product of white supremacy is difficult for me to swallow. Back in the slave days yes, but the majority of OUR people live around the majority of OUR people.

  20. Katty says:

    In addition, Natalie YOU KNOW THAT THE MAINSTREAM DOES NOT PROVIDE DECENT JOBS TO OUR BROTHERS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR FAMILIES. I know many White men who are not that well-read and have great jobs because of White privilege. STOP TO PRETEND THAT WE ARE LIVING IN A FAIR SOCIETY!!!

  21. Katty says:

    In addition, Natalie YOU KNOW THAT THE MAINSTREAM DO NOT PROVIDE DECENT JOBS TO OUR BROTHERS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR FAMILIES. I know many White men who are not that well-read and have great jobs because of White privilege. STOP TO PRETEND THAT WE ARE LIVING IN A FAIR SOCIETY!!!

  22. Katty says:

    I have a question for you. Who declare wars? Men or Women?

  23. natalie says:

    Im sorry…let me get this right. In war it is “women and children” that suffer? The men being used as a utility sent to fight and sacrafice their lives for wars they do not believe in dont suffer? I really wish you would talk to a the many homeless limbless vietnam veterans about suffering. I am sorry about the pain you have personally experienced but male disposability particularly in the black community is a real problem that we ha e long ignored… the pushback has begun.. men with resources have been driven towards activism those without resources are unfortunately pushing back in a way that is being played out every weekend on the southside of chicago.and still many are simply checking out completely because the current gender zeitgeist has put them at great risk for enormous loss. a society that despises its men runs The risk of creating despicable men and after years of neglecting our boys and men its time to invest in them. When girls were not achieving it was attri buted to many factors and as such there were many initiatives and programs implemented.. now that boys have fallen behind weve reduced it to an issue that “they” must try to figure out. Unbelievable!!!

  24. steph says:

    In addition, I hope that will write an article with this title: “Being a Black Woman in America!”.

  25. steph says:

    A Message to Black Beauty:

    I think that your message is very judgemental. If you want to stay here, fine with you. But I have a very particular experience with White men. Before the age of 25, I was sexually abused by at least four among them. The first time was when I was ten. I am soooo sorry but I have every right to not want to be in Amerikkka. I believe that many Black people are naive. My father achieved the so-called American dream. At what price? His daughter was sexually abused by our prominent White neighboor. My father died and I never told him. So, fuck you Amerikkka. This is the story of human history, when there is a war it is always women and children who suffer. The enemy attacks sexually the women. White people always have been our enemy, they always exploited us and probably always will in every realm. I read for instance last night an article about Chuck D. He was suing Universal last year for $100 millions. I don’t know the end of this story but I doubt that he got the money that he deserves because the White Massa still believes in the Dred Scott decision. I could go on and on. As you can guess, I come from a prominent Black family. I travelled everywhere in the world and I have a very clear vision about how Black people are being exploited. I totally agree with Terrance Amen. We need to be united worldwide otherwise, it will never get better for us.

  26. free your mind says:

    BlackBeauty you are 100% correct.

  27. BlackBeauty says:

    All of you who feel that America is not the place for Black folks, then please tell us where there is another “utopia” waiting to embrace you?

    If it is not the best place for us then why are we not leaving here by the hundreds of thousands?

    Where is there a better place, Africa? Really?

    Our ancestors suffered/died helping to build America. Like it or not this is our home (for the most part),and I am staying right here to continue with whatever I have to do to honor the ancestors.

    Educate yourself and your children, work hard, and live the best life you can.


  28. BlackBeauty says:

    Please STOP with what the “white man” did to us/made us believe.

    At this point in our survival we should be way past that and we should know better!!

    Take responsibility for yourself, and your family, especially your children!!

  29. BlackBeauty says:

    And, just what does your article/blog say about us as a people?

    ” Let’s see, where shall we begin? First of all, many of us are born into this world to a young mother who might not know who daddy is, or if she does, there is a chance that he might not be sticking around”

    The above statement alone speaks loud & clear.


  30. john says:

    Thanks Terrance for your comment! You are right UNITY is extremely important. To achieve this we need to know the truth about ourselves, our history and so on. I am an avid reader and it is only today that I discovered on this link: that alcohol consumption was a contributing factor for Africans selling their own people into slavery. They did the same thing with the Natives by introducing alcohol. The White man made us believe that Africans sold us to make sure that we can’t be united!!!

  31. Akosua says:

    Wow! you guys are the type of men I don’t mind following. Look brothers, you are from the original cloth. You are the prototype of maleness. God would not put on you more than you can handle. He is just waiting for you to recognize the awesomeness he has blessed you with (and fellas I’m not talking about your jumping ability or what is between you legs. I’m talking about that beast waiting to be unleash above those shoulders)— a black man with a conscious mind is a beast and is unstoppable. Just down right powerful! Coupled this with unity as suggested earlier, and powerful sistas (and yes we are out there) there is noting our race can’t continue to conquer.

  32. Rarely when comments are made, you find they’re all correct. I agree with all the comments, especially John’s. Until we deal with the psychological effects of slavery, and start to build our own economic plan, we will continue to have the same comments like these. Our future is determined by how we deal with these issues in our community. We can continue to talk about them or finally start to address them and find ways to correct them. Black Unity is the solution. For more info. go to


  33. hoodgirl says:

    When I started kindergarten in 1970, it was a travesty for a man not to work. It didn’t matter what job he held just as long as he held a J-O-B. Today men brag about moving to places where there are plenty of women willing to take care of them. I’ve even seen one refuse to work in a restaurant because he didn’t like the way raw meat felt even though he had little ones that needed to be fed.

    Ninety percent of solving a problem is realizing there is one. As long as we continue to sweep the problem under the rug there will be no resolution.

  34. John says:

    I think it is dangerous to put the blame on the Black community. We can take some responsibily but there is a limit to this. We never started at the same level than the mainstream and our enemies KNOW IT!!! I spoke to a brother this week who has a thorough work experience with the Natives and his observations confirmed to me what I knew already. They have access to free education, etc. This never happened to us. We need also to emulate Asians and Jewish people who manage to keep their money in their community in every way. They keep their own institutions, they marry one another most of the time, our wealthiest brothers should emulate the African-American mogul David L. Steward CEO of World Wide Technology Inc. who married a Black woman: (this what I call a proud Black man), we should build businesses for our own families and community. Do you know that during segregation, the unemployment rate was lower? Why because we had our own businesses and we were not waiting for the White massa to give us jobs. These powerful thoughts from the prominent lawyer Michelle Alexander in her book The New Jim Crow summarizes what happened to Black America since the last decades:

    Since the late 70s, jobs disappeared from urban areas across the U.S. and unemployment rates skyrocketed. Mrs. Alexander added in her book that “In 1954, black and white youth unemployment rates in America were equal, with blacks actually having a slightly higher rate of employment in the age group sixteen to nineteen. By 1984, however, the black unemployment rate had nearly quadrupled, while the white rate had increased only marginally. This was not due to a major change in black values or black culture; this dramatic shift was the result of deindustrialization, globalization, and technological advancement. Urban factories shut down as our nation transitioned to a service economy. Suddenly African Americans were trapped in jobless ghettos, desperate for work”.

  35. James says:

    Straight up:

    I have to blunt; The pastors, uncles, etc. etc. etc., are doing bad things to our boys; not all of them but, at least some are and it hurts me so much as a black man because our boys are now learning morals, right & wrong, sex education, responsibility to self,the black woman, family & community, self-discipline, and other social norms that we were taught in the 60s, 70s, and 80s the wrong way. Our boys are learning this B******T from rappers, rap vidoes with the big butt women, tv advertisements, magazines, the Internet, cell phones, video games and so on. They think thug life, degrading black women, shooting up each other, and so on is normal and makes a real man however, the Bible does speak about a lost generation; kids will go against their parents, authority, and community leaders, and so on. Overall, WE BLACK MEN & WOMEN are just as much at fault by the examples we set for our kids.***(IT ALL STARTS IN THE HOME)*** regardless whether it’s a single parent or both parent home. What the kids see us adults do, they will copy it.

    WE BLACK MEN GOTTA STAND UP AND BE MEN: STOP!!!!! whining bout’ the white man, $$$$$,chasing everything female, and the issues that WE have control over and can CHANGE within SELF & in our BLACK COMMUNITIES & SCHOOLS.

    Until ALL black men do these things, the black man will continue to be marginalized, prisonized, institutionalized, drug & alcoholized, sexied, and racialized, for lack of better words. LOL

    The central reason among many others is that ‘BIG MAMMA’ is gone; the Matriarch of the black family. . . . .



  36. I think that through it all, we still must do what we have to do to make it,but honestly, I can’t say that America is the best place for a black man to be.

  37. Eleanie says:

    I agree with Word Up. Brothers lift your heads and straighten your backs and be the man that I know you can be. Let’s not wallow in self-pity. Keep driving and striving. No it’s easy, but don’t give up. Please….

  38. John says:

    What I don’t understand is if the fathers are not there, what the pastors, brothers, uncles, male cousins, grandfathers… are doing to better the condition of our boys???

  39. word up says:

    No time for self pity…let’s go to work cause AmeriKKa is the best place for a black man to be!

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