Eleanie Campbell; I Got This – Single Black Fathers…
(ThyBlackMan.com) We are constantly discussing the plight of single mothers, women who are left to raise children without fathers in the household. We have heard stories of dad’s taking off and leaving, never seeing their offspring again or hardly keeping in touch. However, we rarely hear about the mother that has dropped her child on the dad’s doorstep and never returning.
The conversation of single motherhood is a hot topic. However, many are not discussing the rising number of fathers that are raising their children alone. Some are doing so by choice, while others were thrust into the position of single fatherhood, due to circumstances beyond their control. Nevertheless, they are doing it.
These men are cooking, cleaning, braiding hair, helping with homework and transporting kids to extra-curricular activities. They are keeping their household in order, working every day and caring for their children. You might call them Mister Mom, Super Dad, Mom-Dad or simply dad, but they are holding it down.
I have had the experience of working in child support, non-profit agencies and with organizations that support fathers. This has allowed me to see the situation from both sides and through a wide spectrum. I have viewed it from a professional set of eyes and from that of a mother.
In the past many children were raised by grandparents, aunts, other family members and in some cases even a family friend when the mother was no longer around. But times are changing. I truly believe that men, including black men are stepping up to the plate to care for their children. Brothers are proving society wrong in their stereotypical views of black men as fathers.
The number of black single fathers is not overwhelming, but it has increased within the last 30 years. (Between 1970 and 2003, single-father families in the United States increased from less than half a million to 2 million, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Single Black fathers raising children on their own comprise of some 353,000 or nearly 16 percent, of single-father households. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_8_62/ai_n27251662/
Being a single mother can be stressful however, being a single father is also taxing at times, but very rewarding. I have asked a few single dads what was their biggest challenge in raising children alone. Some replied that adapting to a very busy schedule was difficult.
With homework, cooking, cleaning and extra-curricular activities their plates are full. To quote one brother, “my days of running the street are done, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
People should realize that men want their children in their lives as much as mothers do. We also need to accept the fact that all men are not deadbeat fathers. More than not, they want to do the right thing and be there for their offspring.
Unlike the media’s portrayal of the African American male I want to say for the record that many black men are wonderful fathers and not deadbeat dads. They are working hard in raising young boys and girls to become mannerable, successful, law- biding men and women.
Others and I believe that society’s one sided, negative perception of the black men is a lie, simply because not all black men are abandoning their babies.
If you don’t think so, take the time to meet a brother or two that are single fathers and see for yourself.
Staff Writer; Eleanie Campbell
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