(ThyBlackMan.com) It was recently explained to me that salvation is merely needed as fire insurance. You know, get saved so that one can avoid hell. Also, that it’s okay to live as you see fit, because God knows our heart, so we ought to pray when we need him…and if he doesn’t move then whatever is happening is what is meant to be. Though my immediate thoughts of these words were that the person speaking to me was both brazen, and ignorant, I began to ponder on this perspective from a spiritual…and humanistic standpoint. Maybe we don’t see God impact our lives to the degree with believe he should be because he is simply fire insurance. If that is the case, this speaks to a lack of relationship with God, and if we expect [or feel entitled] to blessings, breakthroughs, protection, and provision with no relationship…could this be what destroys the human relationships as well. God is not an emergency plan…and neither are people. Though he is the Creator of the universe, clearly from his Word, God has feelings. That may seem like a farfetched position, but it’s true. We will never receive God’s best in life by treating him simply as a contingency plan. This manner of behavior is not only entitled and hypocritical, but if not careful it can cause us to deceive ourselves about the state of our life and our lack of accountability in such.
There is plenty of talk surrounding the words toxic and narcissistic. In many ways these are some of the new trigger words [though often ill-used] that now describe the self-serving, manipulative, hypocritical abusive behavior in relationships. Many of us understand these behaviors when they are used against us. No one wants to be in a relationship, whereby the only time you hear from someone is when they need something. It is discouraging to give advice to someone who refuses to trust your council [though they seek it consistently], but they somehow find a way to blame you for the tragic situation they find themselves facing. It’s terrible when you then have to endure the verbal abuse and lies told against your character when said person has a tantrum…though you forgive them for it. No one wants to show up in times of need, but never get a genuine thank you…but always demands your presence.
The expectation of loyalty and allegiance in the face of one-sided conversations whereby you are constantly asked questions and requests are made…but you aren’t allowed to speak hurts. Being blamed for everything because no one wants to take responsibility for their choices…because when they don’t get what they want it can’t be their fault. They can continue doing things that don’t serve them well…but the bad outcome is your fault. We’d tell ourselves people hurt those that are closest to them…and they might work for a season. However, eventually you will begin to feel the hypocrisy, see the disloyalty, get tired of the abuse and one-sidedness…and you will begin the process of exiting that relationship.
Those that love you may question why you stayed in disfunction for so long. It could have very well been your love for said person, and you believed in them. Take this very damaging scenario and realize some of us can sit back and say we don’t treat others in the way explained and never would…but we do treat God in this way. No one do we do it…but many go to great means to further try to justify their behavior by laying more blame on God. The crazy part is he is still showing mercy, grace, and love to us in the face of great mistreatment and judgement. Everything is God’s fault; we have every reason why we can maintain unhealthy practices and spaces in the face of hurt and mistreatment…but will condemn the church as a whole verses those that have wronged us. However, when trouble and despair arise, we cry out unto God to put out he fires of life. Sometimes we won’t even say thank you.
Yes, some of us will engage in prayer, but it’s a one-sided conversation of, Lord I need. Heaven forbid we get an answer, and it’s not what we want to hear…or it causes conviction and reflection of the errors of self…that’s not a conversation we feel we should respect because we may say it’s the enemy. God deserves better. He deserves at the very least the respect we ourselves demand. He is not an emergency plan…he is life. Maybe if we take the time to get to know Him, as he already knows us, and engage in a relationship we will find more than just deliverance. We would find that we aren’t merely living on the grace & mercy…but thriving in the blessed and abundant space. Before we look t blame God or just scream fire…we should consider re-evaluating the nature of our relationship. Its time we walk away from being everything we’d run from and expecting the “blessing”.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.