(ThyBlackMan.com) Being a black man in America is not for the weak, in fact, I can’t think of another group of men that would be able to withstand the torment that we face daily. Let’s see, where shall we begin? First of all, many of us are born into this world to a young mother who might not know who daddy is, or if she does, there is a chance that he might not be sticking around. As a child, we sometimes have to be aware of the crazy boyfriends that moms is bringing home, and let’s pray to GOD that this fool does not like little boys.
As we grow up, we witness many of our friends turn to gangs, illegal activity, and drug use. Mind you that dad is not here to guide us, so it’s hard to avoid the peer pressure, so more than likely we will have a few run in’s with the law before age 18. Oh yeah, moms is at work trying to make ends meet, and the drug trade is looking real good right now. I need a new pair of shoes and them Jordan’s are calling my name. After all, I’m tired of getting picked on by the rest of the kids at school, and that chick that sits in front of me at school wouldn’t give a broke brother like me the time of day. Mom could use the extra money too, so she won’t care where I got the money from. Ha-ha, I know you brothers can relate to this.
By the time we reach 25 (full grown), more than likely there will be babies, baby mama(s), and oh yeah, child support. Many of us can’t keep a steady girlfriend, why, because mom didn’t keep a steady boyfriend. Dad wasn’t there to show me how to treat a woman. We can’t keep hustling, so it’s time to get a job, a real job. Who’s going to hire a brother with a record and a GED, certainly not a company that pays more than minimum wage? Hell, even with a college education, it’s hard for most of us to get a good job. When we walk into that interview, the white dude is scoping us out from head to toe. He is looking at my hair, my complexion, and listening to the way I talk. If it’s a brother interviewing us, he is just as worse as the white guy, you know the type of brother that grew up in the suburbs, went to college, and made straight A’s in school. Even if we get the job, we have to deal with glass ceilings, because it’s only so high up the man is going to let us go.
When a black man reaches his thirties, he is normally tired of the struggles, pain, and is seeking stability. Yeah we get tired of the different girls, going to the club and have the desire to have a loving family. When it’s time to meet that special someone, where do you go to find her. Many of our women are scarred, have attitudes, and have better jobs than us. How can I be a man in my house when my lady is making more than me, and every day she is telling me how much she don’t need a man and can take care of herself. Let’s not forget, she never did like the baby’s mama(s), so that equals even more drama. Even if we did meet a good woman, we wouldn’t know how to treat her due to our childhood, and some insecurities. In the life of a black man, we often rotate jobs and women as if they were tires on a car. I forgot about the biggest problem of all…We are black.
It’s like we were doomed since birth. The race that makes up the majority never liked us, but see’s us as fools. The only thing we have ever been good for in the eyes of the majority is work. Yeah, Amerikka loves the Curry’s, the LeBron’s, and the Mj’s (both of the Michaels and Magic) because you are making them money. When you are making Americkkka money by entertaining, playing a sport, or even acting, you will be ok. If you are just the average Joe, or should I say Leroy, you will have to fight your way through this life harder than the average man.
A black man wants and deserves the same opportunities as any other man. We want the good jobs, we want the pretty wife and kids, and we want the vacations to Disney world and a few dogs with the picket fence. The problem is that America as a whole does not want to see us with it, and some of our own people don’t either. Most of our black men are in jail, and most of their kids headed there. Why you ask, it’s not because we want to be, it’s because Amerikkka was designed this way. As a black man in America, I make no excuses at all, but I give reasons. We can go to school and get the same education as the rest of the world, we can also stay out of jail in most situations, but we have to be taught to first love ourselves.
We have been taught that we are nothing, and have no value. This is something that we have been stripped of, and that’s why we need more real men in the home teaching their family. Being a black man is something that I love, but being one in America can make you want to just avoid all of your responsibilities, which is killing us but we have to do better. God bless you black man!
Staff Writer; Kataurus Braswell
This brother can be found on Twitter at; BlackConvo.
Good day my Brothers. I had a terrible childhood. I knew my father but he never did a thing for me. I grew up in a combination of “the hood” and multiple foster homes, fell into the drugs to soothe my low self-image and looking for the love I missed without my family. Went to prison, learned that no one is responsible for me or my self-image or success but me, myself and I. I was released, went back to school, while working and being a single father to my son. I now have three degrees, a good job regardless of my criminal record, and earn a good living. I raised three children, two of which went to college, and I have my own home in Chicago in a good neighborhood with decent schools. I am fine. Is what the Brother said in the article valid? Yes! So what. We as MEN decide what our reality will be.
We can wallow in what we did not have or what was not available to us or we can get up off our asses and go out there and get it, legally. Many of us want this life, but we don’t dis like the life we have enough to walk away from it and build the life we want. There is no instant gratification, it takes years of work, but are we not worth it? There is nothing on this planet, let alone in this country worth anything that is easy to acquire, not a woman, job, education, none of it is easy. BUT nobody owes us anything, we owe it to ourselves to make it happen for ourselves and our children. Today we don’t have nearly the issues that our grandparents had trying to make it in this society, yet every generation since emancipation has done better than the one before due in most part to their willingness to not make excuses, but to make it their life’s work.
The American culture dictates the definition of manhood.America is a pluralistic, representative democracy with a capitalist economic base with citizens that believe in an unequal distribution of available goods and services based on merit. Merit is defined as usefulness to the republic. Being a man among the super rich is different from being a man among the very poor.Each level of class in America carries its own differing definitions.
I believe that black men and men of color can experience successful lives in the 21st century. Yes, there are pitfalls but black men in their teens, 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and even 50’s are not facing the blatant systematic racism that let’s say some of our fathers and definitely grand and great grandfathers faced. We have to value education, our lives / self-worth, our culture and yes our families and communities. We can no longer allow corporations, the music and entertainment industry to dictate and control our culture and the lives we lead. I am black although not African American by culture. I was raised by my grandparents who were immigrants from Panama. I did not have my father nor my mother in my life. I also grew up in a marginalized area of NYC. I was taught to value family, value life, value hard work and to value an education. At times, as a youth I rejected those teachings because of what was presented as normal. What one does is self correct and not lose sight. I was taught not to blame my situation and burden myself even more with thinking about not making it because the mainstream society does not want black males to make it. I was taught to ignore those who seek ones downfall. I am father, husband and I have a family. I am not perfect. The reality of life in America is that yes, there is a decent life to be made here and there are few countries in the world that truly accept us, but we as black men have to be realistic. If you do not come from a wealthy or comfortable economic situation, there will be a struggle. Face it accept it and still rise above it. Too many of us, want to achieve a lifestyle or standards that are for entertainers and athletes. I am in education. There are many of us in regular jobs that do ok. Its about trying to build better for my children. I definitely think I am in a better position than my grandfather.
I endorse both. I certainly lean more towards the respondent MAC. While most of the article is true, it does not speak explicitly to the root cause of the black community discourse and disregard faced by our kings. I wish more emphasis was focused on causes and overcoming. There are plenty of Black Men who come from the statistical background yet prevail, and thrive!
Brother (hopefully you won’t take offense to my referring to you this way), I think the brother that started the post speaks for a lot of other brothers and also for us all as we typically do not have voices in this world to express our truths. I believe this is true both in and outside of our communities. Although my upbringing sounds more similar to yours, wisdom and otherwise life tells me the brother is discussing valid points here and these are realities for many brothers in life since our beginnings in this country (at the risk of stating the obvious I believe we are still all fortunate now to be citizens here but there have always clearly been flaws with our citizenship). There certainly can be multiple realities in this country in particular for black men so I think you posing your comments as differing with this brother’s is short sighted at best. I’m glad you and I had the beginnings that differ from what he is discussing but that doesn’t make the realities of others who did not have these same beginnings invalid or untrue. Sadly, still I believe my and your beginnings are still more the exception than the rule.
I’m going to disagree with this entire article. This article was written by someone who was raised in areas where they are tough not to or how to think for themselves.
Victim mind set. I myself and many others, I know grew up differently. In this article black men and young black men are too ignorant to look around and see what environment they are in and do nothing but follow the status quo? Living in America is not the problem. The major problem is the community. There are no rules established of accountability or responsibility for parents and youth.
Sorry to add to the belief that Black Men cannot get along, but I beg to differ with your comments presented in Being a Black Man in America, or more precisely, your comments directed toward Black Fathers in America.
Not to hurl stones between Brothers and images of fathers, but an absentee Father was not what I grew up with; was not what I grew up without; definitely not part of my (and my neighbors around me) youth-to-adult years grew with the hope of emulating that example of a Father.
‘My baby’s Daddy-Which One did not exist in our home. All of my siblings knew who their Father was/is as well as the one and only MOther to us all.
Speaking as a son, I had a very good teacher (even if He did not see Himself as one). One who worked; one who showed up at school, sporting events, parties, etc. making sure that all of us were okay.
Teachers, grade school through college; Law Officers; Employers…all felt the wrath of our Father if he felt that we had been unjustly wronged. And no, I did not feel slighted, bad, embarrassed, or unable to stand for myself when told, ‘Oh you called your daddy, little boy?’.
Yes, I did.
Yes, He showed up and, what you might call showed out. He defended us.
I’ve been so very fortunate to have A Mother and a Father to spread a map for me to follow through life and I hope I have continued that map for my sons.
Are all Black families alike? No family is like the next, follows like the last, or cuts a path never before seen by those who came before us.
Amen brother!
Brother (hopefully you won’t take offense to my referring to you this way), I think the brother that started the post speaks for a lot of other brothers and also for us all as we typically do not have voices in this world to express our truths. I believe this is true both in and outside of our communities. Although my upbringing sounds more similar to yours, wisdom and otherwise life tells me the brother is discussing valid points here and these are realities for many brothers in life since our beginnings in this country (at the risk of stating the obvious I believe we are still all fortunate now to be citizens here but there have always clearly been flaws with our citizenship). There certainly can be multiple realities in this country in particular for black men so I think you posing your comments as differing with this brother’s is short sighted at best. I’m glad you and I had the beginnings that differ from what he is discussing but that doesn’t make the realities of others who did not have these same beginnings invalid or untrue. Sadly, still I believe my and your beginnings are still more the exception than the rule.