(ThyBlackMan.com) Love is both a noun and a verb. If love, the noun, is an intense feeling of deep affection, self, the noun, one’s essential being that distinguishes them from other women, and your, an adjective, meaning belonging or associated with a person, then “Love Your Self” takes new meaning. In order to express love toward oneself or others one must engage the active verb and further become the noun, love. It is, therefore, insufficient to love. One must be love to experience an intense feeling of deep affection for one’s essential being that distinguishes them from all others.
Black women generally fail in this realization. Not all Black women but most. Black women historically fail at self-worth and self-love, mainly because they have no true respect or knowledge for their collective or even individually distinguishable essential being. Black women historically seek to compete with one another for the affection and attention of Black men, but not just any ‘ol Black man, rather the Alpha Black male, in an endless life goal of securing THE position as the Alpha Black female – actually THE Alpha female period, and at best end up in a sad state of minimum differentiation…molding themselves on purpose into Westernized societal standards of the femme fatale…OR WORSE, into the misogynistic pinup Black Barbie depictions promulgated in the entertainment industry…because after all there’s little appealing about a Black woman fully clothed, with intelligence equaling or surpassing that of man, ANY MAN. That. Is. The. Grave. Danger.
Black women are the embodiment of extraordinary IF ONLY THEY UNDERSTOOD AND WERE “DEEPLY AFFECTED” BY THEIR INDIVIDUAL “ESSENTIAL BEING.” I’m not necessarily directing every Black woman to embrace and free their innate inner Badu, but I am offering the following ethical consciousness as an alternative to the façade of self love Black women portray every day, admittedly inspired in part by biblical principles and not force-fed religion:
~ Be patient and kind… with others … with your self.
~ Do not envy other’s “love;” rejoice in your own essential being and embrace and live in your own distinguishable differences
~ Don’t be prideful, rather BE full with pride; know that your truest essential being is unrivaled – it is counterproductive to compete when your essential being is necessarily “better than everyone or everything of the same type.” Hear me. I’m not exclaiming that your self is better than others’ self, rather that your self is so uniquely significant that you are unlike any other self. Embrace that. It is self love.
~ Avoid self-seeking and SEEK THY SELF. Be introspective and still infinitely connected in a world that values selfishness and desensitization as admirable survival traits … be FIT instead of the “fittest.”
~ Forgive your self and forgive others unconditionally. Grow on purpose. You’ll be amazed at how best doing so renders an inner and even outer glow that rivals the outer beauty afforded by concealer and foundation.
~ Decide to BE happy and LOVE in spite of everything, above all things that would otherwise gnaw at the fiber of your distinguishable essential being.
~ Be TRUE to your SELF. Accept the reality, genetic or otherwise, that your pronounced facial and other physical features are necessary for YOUR distinguishable “beautiful.” Be truthful about your curves and edges. Would-be flaws, self-asserted, are a fickle thing where measures of beauty are concerned; some of the most “beautiful” Black women have the most uniquely distinguishable features.
I could go on and on but I’ve got 500 characters only to breathe life and love back into the Black woman’s suffocated self-image. And if I stop now having exceeded the same maybe I’ll have opportunity to greet you again, in love.
Be love. BE love. To BE love is to love thy self Black Woman, capitalization intended.
Staff Writer; Tigress McDaniel
