(ThyBlackMan.com) Have you recently gone to a funeral and noticed everyone’s attire has changed just a tad? You don’t really see the all black ankle length skirts or women wearing modest suits in navy or black. Men, can be found wearing their Sunday’s best of loud colors or what they wore last weekend at the club. What is going on during the hours that we come together, as we celebrate our dearly departed?
Shift gears for a second. You know how it’s the unspoken rule that if you are single and attending a wedding, you might meet Mr. or Mrs. Right and so you make sure you are looking fly and dressed to impress everyone and trying not to out shine the bride? Well it appears that funerals the dress codes are shifting towards that same unspoken rule.
The last funeral I attended was that of my grandfather who passed away in his old age as rightfully so according to the process of life. His funeral was mainly attended by family and friends of the family who knew of him through our stories so the attire was “respectful” I’ll say. Now what I’ve noticed and seen on social media, is that when someone from a younger generation passes away typically (no matter the reason), it looks like people are headed to a day party or club.
Some of the women have on let’s say for example, black spandex, above the knee skirts, black laced stockings, six inch heels (the kind that strippers wear) and excessive or costume jewelry. Why? Men have on Gucci this and that with sunglasses for the look of being cool and not because their sad and crying. You can find these same said men posted up in the back of the funeral, looking to see who they can hook up with after the funeral. I’ve never seen so much booty and cleavage handing out of garments until now days at funerals.
As a culture, it’s hard to decipher where this type of dress code derived from because it’s again, an unspoken rule so it’s kind of like you see others doing it so you do it also to keep up with everyone else. It’s really sad that the focus has shifted from the deceased at funerals to more concerns about who is wearing what designer this or that or watching cat calling happening from the men. To me, it’s pure disrespectful behavior at a funeral.
In case you don’t know what day parties are, they are typically parties operating in a club, lounge or bar during the day time hours on weekends, between 1pm-6pm. Usually, persons in their mid-30’s to late 40’s attend these day parties mainly because our bodies have gotten older, our bedtimes are now 9pm and it takes us longer periods of time to recover from drinking. So think about it, if you attend a day party on Sunday from 3pm-6pm, you’re back home and in bed by 9pm and can function at work on Monday morning without having a hangover.
Certain things you shouldn’t wear in certain environments and at certain times. You definitely should have the freedom of expressing yourself through your clothes but at what point do you do self-reflection and say to yourself, “This may be inappropriate to wear for this occasion.” Lastly, have respect for yourself at all times regardless of the garments you wear and if you have doubts about wearing something, then you probably shouldn’t wear it.
Staff Writer; Felicia T. Simpson
One may also connect with this sister online over at; FTSimpson.com.
My generation was taken to church by our parents and elders. We were taught the proper dress and behavior for church services, etc. Some of the lack of knowledge for appropriate dress and behavior now is a result of “unchurched”generations. You can’t do what you don’t know. Unfortunately now, there is no distinction between club attire, interview attire, church attire. I’m happy I learned the difference.
Many Black peoples of New Orleans have a tradition of celebrating with semi-march band regarding a funeral. But the author’s comment about women wearing inappropriate attire like short dresses, stripper clothes and spandex is really disrespectable.