Monday, July 26, 2021


Fathers Matter – Always Have, Always Will.

June 17, 2021 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) My apologies, I love to write but some things are more important. One such thing is being a father. This past week I serviced my daughter’s sweet 16th birthday party. I use the word service selectively because it is within the framework in which we as men constantly service our lord and savior. The same way we are serviced by such grace, we service our children in that reflection. It was basically an entire week celebration: hair, nails, spa, dresses, shoes, purse and jewelry culminating with a dinner and family and twelve of her friends at Maggiano’s. Wasn’t that bad, a little on $500 for the dinner. But fathers do what fathers do. What I am writing not is apolitical, albeit some think that fatherhood and the advancement of the patriarchy is. Not me for it is a stand for the value in patriarchy and the value of fathers for we matter – yes, we do.

There is nothing more important than parenting and father’s and mother’s share this appreciation of for equally. But for me it is somewhat different. I raised my son and daughter by myself. I am not complaining but just stating a reality. I know that the unconditional love and experiences I share with my children is worthy of veneration: not because of me but rather because of the wealth encompassed in a father spending time with his children. I do not write this because of a holiday coming up but rather since I live this act as a man daily. Father’s Day is everyday unless you see it as being something it is not.

The math is clear on the significance of a child having a father in their life. We matter because we do the heavy lifting. Just through simple observation and modeling, we set the example of what our sons desire to be and who our daughters decide to marry. Boys model themselves after their father’s character and seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. Young girls rest on their fathers for refuge and emotive support and demonstrate what a good relationship with a man is supposed to be like. It’s a fact that kids who grow up with involved fathers are more likely to earn mostly A’s in school, less likely to repeat a grade and less likely to be suspended or expelled from school. Children with fathers in the home are twice as likely to go to college and find steady employment after high school They are also less likely to get pregnant or have a child as a teen. Moreover, more than 70 percent of all high-school dropouts are from a fatherless household according to the National Center for Education Statistics and more than 60 percent of youth suicides happen in households with an absent father based on United States Department of Health data.

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Don’t even mention jail or the correctional system. According to U.S. Census Bureau data (2020), kids without a father in the home are more likely to be obese, drop out of school, use drugs and commit crime. It is basic common sense that when fathers are energetically involved with their children, children do better. But the current political trends of the day ignore this. They advocate for the destruction of the patriarchy and assert that fathers are not needed or even toxic. This is idiotic and leans more to a belief that is designed to destroy the family structure rather than provide support for what we know works to sustain and improve collective communal outcomes. More than 40 percent of children in the U.S. live without a father in the home and according to U.S. Justice Department data, more than 7 out of 10 juveniles in correctional custody come from fatherless households.

It is written in Malachi 4:6 that “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” I take this to mean what I already know that the greatest instruction of being a man is in part how he addresses and provides for his children. So regardless of what the latest dogma spews, men should know, that fathers matter and always have and always will. I do not need anyone to tell me of how I should value the looks I get from my kids when I do for them or they perform well. It is self-explanatory. Men know what I am speaking about for us the reality is that Father’s Day is every day. From waking up and cooking breakfast to coming home and cooking dinner, putting food on their plate and helping them with homework after track or baseball practice. This is not a task it is a mission. I love this mission personally and would not exchange it for anything in the world.

As men we do what we do and with respect to our kids, at least the righteous among us we take the higher ground. Personally I do not teach my kids they are victims for victims have no control or choice. Instead as I was taught, I teach them someone has to be number one, may as well be you. So men, especially black men, remember that the greatest gift you can have is a child. Treat it as such and our community will be better served by your actions. Yes we can be toxic but such is required to show that being a man in the form of a father is as necessary as breathing air. America is only as strong and manly as it’s father’s, so make sure we do our job and keep it that way. Hat tip to all the poppa’s.

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Staff Writer; Torrance T. Stephens

You can follow this brother over at; Daily Thought Crime. Can also purchase any of his books over at; Amazon – TTS Books.


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